With Khephra gone, I now have one more reason to dread January.

[NightTrain]

When I first saw the original thread stating that Khephra had died, I dismissed it as a tasteless joke on his part. After all, the post was under Keph's own name and was posted four hours after the time of his supposed death. At that point, all I saw was the subject line. I didn't have time to read the message because I was at my college radio station and had to go on the air in five minutes.

Once I was settled in, I logged on to DU via the air studio's computer and quickly realized that what I had seen earlier was anything *but* a joke. Khephra really was gone! For the rest of the night, it was all I could do to maintain my regular on-air demeanor.

Like a lot of you, I never knew Khephra personally. I never met him in person, I never spoke with him on the phone, nor did I exchange PMs and e-mails with the man. But I certainly knew who he was. As recently as Friday night, I had replied to one of his threads!

Last night, when I saw the pictures of the 2002 Philly DU gathering that Will Pitt posted, I noticed that Khephra had what appeared to be a serious weight problem. I've no idea if Keph's weight problem contributed to his untimely departure from our world, but I do know that I, myself, have been seriously overweight for longer than a decade and that it can't possibly be doing my health any good. Who knows? Perhaps losing Khephra is the impetus I finally need to stop consuming so goddamned much sugar.

I recently posted that I hate January because it has a way of killing off my loved ones. Tomorrow, the 10th, is my dad's death anniversary. Later this month, I also will commemorate the respective passings of my mom, my grandfather, and my Uncle Frank. Now, with Keph's passing, I have a brand new reason to dread the first month of the year! Just what I need.

OK, gang, I've babbled on long enough. RIP, Brother Khephra! You were one in a million. :toast: :cry:

[Deja Q]

1. Like I got a response to in my semi-related post in GD,

is it really worth guessing over? It's his family and their private business, unless his family wants to say anything. And who told me that was right. :shrug: It doesn't matter if it was natural causes (weight you're saying), or if it was suicide (or other things, which seem ludicrously unlikely).

[NightTrain]

4. I understand where you're coming from. Actually, though...

...I was thinking more about my own weight problem and how losing some of this excess poundage would undoubtedly be good for my health. Having seen those pictures of Keph last night got me to thinking about it, which is why I mentioned it above.

[jellybelly]

5. good luck

I hope you manage to lose excess weight. My mom has been battling weight problems for years, it's a struggle.:-)

[Ladyhawk]

9. I hope you can lose the weight!

My very best friend in the world has a significant weight problem and some serious physical problems. I keep halfway expecting him to just drop dead. That sounds insensitive. I don't mean for it to. :( It's just that he's approaching upper middle age and he's too old to support the amount of weight he carries. He's also terrible about getting medical tests when he needs them.

I don't think many people understand how hard it is to lose weight once that much has been accumulated. Once the metabolism is set, it programs you to want food. I've known people who have had success with gastric bypass surgery, but that is rather drastic. Sigh. Either medical science needs to come up with a better way to lost weight or America really needs to take another look at the foods it eats. Probably both.

NightTrain, good luck!!!! I hope you can find the way. (Wish me luck, too, because I could afford to lose some weight.)

[NightTrain]

11. A good friend of mine had gastric bypass surgery.

Dan was up to 430 pounds and is now down to about 250. However, he only had the surgery after years of unsucessful attempts at losing weight. Dan doesn't recommend the surgery except as a last resort.

[Ladyhawk]

16. No kidding...yikes!

I had some "last resort" medical things done to me about four years ago. I'm alive because of what was done, but I am not sure I could find the courage to go through it again...and it may need to be done again...sigh.

[auntAgonist]

21. I am hoping to

have gastric bypass surgery soon. It isn't something we do hastily. wish me luck :)

[Bouncy Ball]

2. Yep.

Two of my grandparents died in January (different years) and one good friend committed suicide one January. I HATE January.

(That being said, have you given OA a try?)

http://www.oa.org

[Ladyhawk]

10. Some people have an aversion to 12-step programs.

Others swear by them.

I tend to swear AT them. I could never get into the "higher power." It just seems goofy.

[NightTrain]

12. I tried a 12-step program once, though not because of my weight problems.

As an avowed atheist, I found all that "Let go and let god" stuff extremely distasteful.

[miss_kitty]

14. yeah. 12 steppin' ain't for everyone

but look around. maybe hypnosis, or some sort of doctor thingy-I'm NOT talking surgery, but nutritional help and advice...

[Bouncy Ball]

13. It's definitely not religious, just spirital

and FWIW, I've seen atheists and agnostics really succeed with it. They just decide to "act as if" and they told me (I'm a sponsor) later that it worked. And it wasn't just "oh I'm pretending now," maybe their Higher Power is a force within them, it doesn't matter. It's only how YOU envision it. I like that about those 12 step programs, because I am not that into religion, per se.

[Ladyhawk]

15. Yeah, it's just a personal opinion. I'm not trying to tell anyone...

...what to do. It just hasn't worked for me in the past and in fact had me in tears because I don't believe in higher powers of any kind and I feel it takes both power and responsibility away from the individual to find his or her own way to deal with a problem.

At the same time, I'm appalled by the individualism I see in society and in my own life. I can't get past the trust issue.

Anyway, trying a 12-step program almost landed me in the hospital due to severe panic attacks. Most people probably won't react the same way.

[Bouncy Ball]

17. Oh wow, I'm sorry.

And sorry if my comments brought up anything painful for you!

:hug:

[Ladyhawk]

18. No problem, Bouncy Ball.

I wasn't expecting to get into a 12-step book and have a panic attack! That is so not what is supposed to happen. I doubt most here would get triggered like that. It was a combination of things in the book that set me off.

Silly me.

BTW, I do appreciate your postings, Bouncy Ball!!!

[Bouncy Ball]

20. And I appreciate yours, sweetie!

:hug:

[readmylips]

3. I didn't know khephra (Scott)...

It seems that he was too young to die. From all your postings on his life, he was a great human being. It must be a very sad time for his Mom. God Bless You Mom Khephra.

[StClone]

7. I knew him through his posts

He seemed wise, controlled, reasonable, empathetic and knowledge for one so young. He was a fixture here and was on board early in 2001.

[Ladyhawk]

19. 37...my age exactly. He was way to young to go.

Condolences to everyone who knew him well.

[miss_kitty]

6. "Perhaps losing Khephra is the impetus...

I finally need to stop consuming so goddamned much sugar..."
I'm sure if you committed to do that at some point, your DU family would offer you lots of support.

[StClone]

8. A positive for you is a good direction

This winter has been a bad one. My best friend and I have parted. Bush is in again. Dems leaving us recently include Shirley Chisholm, Matsui and Kheph. I will try to stay positive but will welcome spring.

[fortyfeetunder]

22. One step at a time

I too have the same problem NT. But I have vowed to live a healthier lifestyle in the future; with my family history,I have to.

Just take baby steps and before you know it you will be losing weight.

Take care Night Train.

[Biased Liberal Media]

23. I have a weight problem too

It's something I've dealt with over the years and now that I have insulin resistance it makes taking the weight off harder. There's more I could stand to do, physically. Diet alone doesn't help...but with a bitter cold winter it makes it hard to move. However one of the movies I have on my Netflix queue that is on its way is Walk Away The Pounds...looks and sounds fairly easy and will help me get more physical. I haven't been as physically active as I would like since before december.

I read all the posts on Khephra and my heart goes out to his mother. RIP Kheph. I didn't know him, but I remember seeing his posts in LBN.