There's not a single "guy" on this hole website who would

[Bouncy Ball]

stand up to me challenging them to a cage fight. Not one. They would all back down with fresh droplets of fear perspiration on their lips.

Because heres why, first of all its unexcpected coming from a "girl." That right off the bat would totally blow their minds out of the water.

Then the other reason is that they would suddenly start to think "ok yeah she doesn't LOOK so tough, but I wonder if maybe there is something I'm not seeing, like super fast reflexes or AMAZING lower body strength" in which case that smart "guy" would be correct.

Especially about the lower body strength. You know those weight machines you lay on and you do the weight level, put your feet on the thingie and push up with your thighs and really your whole legs? I can do that at 2-3 times my body weight.

Ive had guys come over and say "shit I can't believe that I wouldnt' want to cage fight her"

Because see I would love to fight one of you really tall "guys" because at 5'7" I have a lower center of gravity and can get down and do a roundhouse kick, knocking you out then pound you wiht my lower body strength.

I can give anyone tips if they want, I've only been doing it for about a few months now, but its amazing how good I've goten in that time. Some things peope are just talented at.

[JohnKleeb]

1. I'd rather challenge you to a chugging match

[Bouncy Ball]

2. you didnt even have time to read that

you are just mouthign off and besides I dont fight "kids"

[da_chimperor]

5. Would that be with root beer or dr. pepper?

[Bouncy Ball]

7. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

BURN!!!!! THAT WAS A BURN ON KLEEB!!!!!!

GOOD ONE!!!!

[JohnKleeb]

16. That was a good one, I admit

but lemme remind chimp that I am bigger than him :).

[da_chimperor]

20. Yeah . . . you are, but there's this big body of water protecting me

You know . . . the Atlantic? :)

[JohnKleeb]

22. bah you got me again

[da_chimperor]

29. Don't worry about it. Chugging root beer is harder than chugging beer

The carbonation will really kill you.

[JohnKleeb]

34. I had like 3 mountain dews on friday

and another 4 today.

[da_chimperor]

Daaaaamn, I never drank it. Heard stories as a kid the green dye in it

would make your twig and berries shrink down to nothing. The same deal with green m&m's.

[JohnKleeb]

46. it was what my friend chose to buy on friday night

:shrug: if his sister was with us, I assure you we would have gone with the booze.

[da_chimperor]

49. Ah, I fondly remember my days of underage drinking n/t

[JohnKleeb]

52. 3.5 more years man

I remember 3.5 years ago.

[Bouncy Ball]

36. why dont yall take your little love fest somewhere else?

this thread is about cage fighting

[JohnKleeb]

40. I thought it was about page fighting

Yer not gettin my lost page!

[JohnKleeb]

12. Ahh fuck off

:)

[RagingInMiami]

3. Remind me not to ever get in a flame war with you

[Bouncy Ball]

4. Ok I will

and if you are being a smart ass I will have to challenge you

[RagingInMiami]

Me being a smart ass?

Never.

[Beware the Beast Man]

6. You know, there's guys out there who pay to get the tar beaten

out of them. Just sayin', could be a lucrative hobby.

[Bouncy Ball]

9. are u one of them?

because we can arrange that, but i promise you you might regret it

[Beware the Beast Man]

24. No, I'm not.

Have fun storming the castle.

[name not needed]

14. That reminds me of the Family Guy episode

where Quahog is invaded by New Yorkers.

[Bouncy Ball]

25. that comment has nothing to do with this thread

so get out of here you thread disruptor tha's what the alert button is for

[name not needed]

27. Thread disruptor?

wtf?

[Bouncy Ball]

30. Yeah Barney lover

[RevolutionaryActs]

8. Hey Bouncy? You're badass!

:yourock:

[Bouncy Ball]

11. there was never any question of that was there?

[RevolutionaryActs]

15. No, but I just thought I would say it anyway!

:D

[Bouncy Ball]

18. well good cuz its true and everyone here knows it

[bahrbearian]

10. Time to go sleep it off.

[Bouncy Ball]

13. If you are fucking with me

I've got a roundhouse kick with your name on it

[DS1]

23. *yawn*

Perhaps you don't need to sleep it off, I'm about to do all the sleeping for you :boring:

[Bouncy Ball]

26. you know what?

I bet you wouldn't have such big comments in the cage with someone like me.

[DS1]

31. Well, I do tend to use smaller words for people who think cage-matches

are a legitimate form of debate :P

[Bouncy Ball]

33. Oh yeah I see

I got your number.

this is DS1: :scared:

[DS1]

38. You're making my nuts tingle

:D

[Bouncy Ball]

55. Yeah WITH FEAR

[DS1]

59. I'll punch you in the hole

:D

[Bouncy Ball]

65. You mean you'll punch YOU in the hole that is your brain

thats more like it

[DS1]

68. Don't you have some homework to do?

:eyes:

[Bouncy Ball]

71. don't you have some not taking me seriously to do?

:eyes:

[FizzFuzz]

17. gee, and when you said "cage fight", I thought I was gonna get to read

something about Nicholas Cage!

shucks!

(kick ass, girlfriend!)

[Bouncy Ball]

19. people think they are funny with nicolas cage jokes

but what they don't realize is cage fighting is serious business. How would you feel if I made jokes about your turtles or whatever that shit is?

[FizzFuzz]

32. ahem...suitably chastened...or maaayyyyybbeeeeeeeeeee.....

:
:
:
:
:
:

hiiii---YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!--thud--
:
:
:
klunk

[Schema Thing]

21. How come nobody told me about the hole website?

I'm a single guy, I need to know these things, dammit!

[Bouncy Ball]

28. WTF are you talking about?

I'm talking about DU sorry if you can't read and shit.

[Bluebear]

37. There are many holes all over the internets!

Get with it! :)

[Bouncy Ball]

41. this thread isnt about holes its about how

the "guys" on this internet site are all too big of wusses to cage fight a girl except the guy below this and if you are going to disrupt this thread I'm going to ask you to leave

[Schema Thing]

48. Don't get snippy with me, young, middle aged, or old, lady!

[Bluebear]

50. Oh "sorry", I didn't "know" it was a "private" thread.

Buh-bye now!

[theorist]

35. I'll probably regret saying this....

I'd take you on, Bouncy. At right about 6', I'm probably exactly what you're looking for.

:evilgrin:

[Bouncy Ball]

39. FINALLY someone with a pair steps up

now what kind of training regime do you have? i have a personal coach

[theorist]

44. I don't think any of that will matter.

Especially when I'm kicking your ass up and down the mat. This is a fight to the death, right?

[Bouncy Ball]

47. Duh no one does that anymore

where have you been 1982?

its a fight until I cripple you or cause brain damage

Then i'll apologize to your family but that'll be it for you no more cage fighting for you

then no one will challenge me ever

[theorist]

57. OK!

You're nuts! This should be fun. Where, when, and what weapons?

[Bouncy Ball]

60. your backyard

Saturday Jan. 22 and weapons? my body and amazing reflexes

[theorist]

67. My backyard will look great afterwards.

Your blood staining the light coating of snow over dying grass, and what not. You'll have to share the costs of building the cage. I'm thinking chain link fencing with barbed wire--Mick Foley style death match stuff. Looks like Bouncy's gonna have a nice inauguration day trip to the ER. :D

[Bouncy Ball]

93. looks like theorist is going to have a nice CORONATION

day trip to the ER or maybe worse!

[lpbk2713]

42. Let me ask you a question.

How do you find time to kick ass with about 3000 DU posts in less than a month and a half? That's a lot of WWW time.

[Bouncy Ball]

45. u have to learn about priorities

and time management my friend. i have. go get a book on it. it's called a bookstorte.

[Bouncy Ball]

53. also you have to learn to speed read

and type 95 words per minute like i do, punk!

[Bouncy Ball]

54. oh an di just noticed your post count

is patheticly low for someone who has been around way longer than that are u jealous?

[bahrbearian]

62. Her personal tranier in an IT nerd.

[MrScorpio]

43. I may not cage match you...

But if we're talking about some fun with a Twister game board and a couple of gallons of extra virgin olive oil, I'm game.

[Bouncy Ball]

51. which reminds me

what is this discrimination in which no one will ever tell me where the special DU place is? Huh? What Im not good enough? Someone who cage fights?

Whatever. And I dont' care WHO your great great granddaddy was or wahtever I bet you are still scared to fight me

[MrScorpio]

56. Scared has nothing to do about it...

You see, I'm a lover, not a fighter.

Peace and love, baby!

[Bouncy Ball]

58. well then I guess that proves it

[MrScorpio]

61. You wanna hug?

I'll give you a hug.

[Bouncy Ball]

63. STOP TRYING to put all that mushy ass shit

in my CAGE FIGHTING THREAD.

What's up with that? Huh?

Where's the special place? I keep asking! Not that I CARE anymore! Fine, DON'T tell me. WHATEVER.

[MrScorpio]

66. Cage fighting won't get you to the "special place", Sweet Cheeks

But some cuddling might.

Wanna cuddle?

[DS1]

70. Yeah, there's no room for cagematches in the special area

but we ~could~ tie her up if she was into that }(

[Bouncy Ball]

72. yeah yall probably

DO have a cage fighting forum over there where you wont let anyone go.

But your just jealous and dont want the competition because ladies are actually attracted to me even though Im a lady too. Because hot is hot no matter what you got as groceries

[MrScorpio]

79. We encourage Lady-to-Lady interaction at the "Special Place"

But it's all peaceful and affectionate.

Just the way we like it.

But there is that matter about the rope...

[MrScorpio]

74. I just happen to have some rope

You can find all kinds of kinky shit at the Ace Hardware store, BTW.

[Bouncy Ball]

76. I just BET you can.

[Bouncy Ball]

77. by the way could your picture of him be any bigger?

[MrScorpio]

81. He was a big guy in life

So full of love...

[MrScorpio]

82. He was a big guy in life

So full of love...

[kitkatrose]

88. Can it be chocolate sauce instead?

You can't really eat olive oil by itself. You know, if it accidently gets in your mouth. :evilgrin:

[GregW]

64. I'd kick your ass in a SPELLING contest

... work it out ...

[Bouncy Ball]

69. This is you

[rockymountaindem]

73. This is about the most mean-spirited thread I've ever seen.

And not because of the original post, but because of what followed.

[Bouncy Ball]

75. What followed?

Do you want to challenge me to a cage fight?

[rockymountaindem]

78. I guess I just don't understand why

you're badmouthing people for making some innoscent jokes and challenging everyone to a cage fight.

[Bouncy Ball]

80. Um, maybe because it's all a big joke.

Anyone who has ever posted with me here knows that character I was channeling is nothing like me. Doesn't even write like I do.

And on edit, joke's over once it's talked about openly. Bouncy the Cage Fighter is no more.

I return you now to your regularly scheduled no satire or humor allowed lounge threads.

[rockymountaindem]

83. Oh, cool.

I didn't want to suggest it was sarcasm because I thought that would be kind of insulting to you if it wasn't actually sarcasm.

Since it is a joke, then I guess my surprise was just a misunderstanding on my part.

I don't post in the lounge too often, so I don't recognize people by name.

[Bouncy Ball]

84. Hey that;'s ok.

It was getting a bit worn out anyway and I need to head to the store.

We sometimes do little personas in here and people go along with the joke.

[sundog]

85. lmao

this is the funniest shit I've read all day

thanks for the laugh -- I needed it :P

[Bouncy Ball]

92. im guessing by being in my thread

you can't resist the lure of a "girl" who wants to cage fight you?

what do you bring to the tabel sungod?

[sundog]

96. first I wanna know the location & size of the cage

I'm planning my strategy :P

[lpbk2713]

86. I love it. Let's do that again some time.

Your cage or mine?

[Bouncy Ball]

98. i will build a cage that will be your cage of PAIN

[rppper]

87. bouncy, I'd just put my........

hand on your forehead and let your little, girly, short self swing away at me until you collapsed from exhaustion...then i would put my foot on your chest and pose Chris Jericho style, flexing my arms for the crowd and yelling..."yeeeessssss bay-beeeeeee!!!!!"

i might even have to use the dreaded figure four leg lock on you afterward, just to add to your humiliating defeat, and make you tap out as i laugh at you....bwaaaahaaaaahaaaaa :evilgrin:

[Bouncy Ball]

90. you don't understand little one with big words

my dad taught me everything

did your dad have you boxing when you were 2? huh? Did your dad teach you half and full Nelsons by the time you were 3?

Mine did.

Did your dad teach you to play basketball? AWWWW, how sweet, my dad taught me how to play IN YOUR FACE ball when we got on the court, he taught me to throw elbows and knock the shit out of other players

Did your dad come home from work and immediately rush the living room and TACKLE you AND YOUR BROTHER all at once and not easy, girly, tackling etiher but hard core Dallas Cowboys tackling?

My dad did he was my personal Kato.

So yeah I doubt it big guy

[rppper]

102. my dad was a green beret.....they don't come any tougher....

and yes, he taught me a few moves...mostly lethal...i wasn't playing basketball as a child, but i was getting whacked with those sticks with the pads at both ends at age 5. i played nose tackle for 3 years in high school...started 2 of those years. i was in the navy onboard submarines for 10 years...didn't learn much fighting there, but i am familiar with BOAT-FU...the most dangerous and dirty style of warfare in all of the armed forces. i hold a black belt in tai kwon do as well, and i am the physical take down instructor for the re-hab i work at. i was the baby of the family as well, with 3 brothers and 2 sisters who would think nothing of tieing me up in a sleeping bag and beating the be-jesus outta' me.....

i eat rusty nails for breakfast and crap cannon-balls at dinner time sweety...you don't scare me...

and you know the catch?....i wouldn't even hit you, kick you or use a foriegn object....wouldn't need to...i'd use your elbows, kicks and blind rushes against you, tie you up like a little screaming christmas present and make you say uncle....

i am confident of a victory, even though i am a big guy and it wouldn't benefit me...oh yeah, i would be talking smack to you the whole time to...it's better when you get your opponent pissed so they aren't thinking....your an easy mark for this.....

you are doomed woman...doomed!!!!!!!!!! mwaahaahaa!!! :evilgrin:

[Bouncy Ball]

108. Oh yeah?

Well the things I could do to you with just one blade of grass I can't even say on this website because it would get me Banned Forever.

[rppper]

112. i might like that.......;-p

this is more fun than a human should be allowed........:freak:

[Bouncy Ball]

114. oh belive me you would not be having fun

you would be screaming for mercy or i should say you wouldn't because you wouldn't be able to!

[Inland]

89. Wait, I have a response, just let me find that old WWF script that was

too stupid even for Smackdown.

[Bouncy Ball]

91. oh you need a script huh?

all i need are my two hands my amazingly muscled legs and my lighting fast reflexes to kick ass and take names

[Inland]

95. Yeah, there seems to be a need for a lot of talk of a certain kind

and either a script or steroids misuse is called for....

[underpants]

94. I REALLY hate jumping in this late-but I nominate requeen

I will be the "Manager" and sit ringside :bounce::evilgrin:

[Bouncy Ball]

97. requeen? who is that?

and I don't do jello or mud, got it?

[Lenape85]

99. I'll cage fight you

[Bouncy Ball]

101. Let's go.

Bring it.

Or has it already been BROUGHTEN?

(By me!)

[Flammable Materials]

100. "Freakin' sweet bowfighting skills, what do you THINK?! IDIOTS!" n/t

:)

[pres2032]

103. locking

no calling out fellow DUers!

[sakabatou]

104. Not so sure about the cage match...

what style would it be in? Pro-wrestling, greco-roman, martial arts, extreme, etc?

[Bouncy Ball]

109. It would be in the style of

bouncy ball beating the stuffing out of anyone in the cage with her super fast reflexes and amazing lower body strength

and faking you out and shit

[sakabatou]

133. You're on!

:: brings out Wolf Tooth staff and a short dagger for emergency only ::

If I loose I shall perform seppuku.

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

105. Don't kid yerself, Girlie.

I have three sisters. I can take anything. And if I knee you with my steel knee, watch out!! :crazy:

[Bouncy Ball]

113. three sisters is nothing

they prolly pamperd adn spoilt you anyway

but you will be begging for mercy and wishing you never heard the Name of Death, which is Bouncy Ball.

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

121. She-devils all. It was an upbringing of torment for me.

And I'm shaking in my boots.

Not.

[BigMcLargehuge]

106. I never turn down an offer to spar

I am an equal opportunity fighter.

I have a lower center of gravity than you do too... MUAHAHAHAHHAHAH.

Cage or no cage, I'll take the challenge.

[Bouncy Ball]

111. Ah

I see, you don't want the cage so you can run away thinking you will escape forever dont you?

and you canot have a lower center of gravity than me, i doubt it big talk man, I've seen your picture you are not shorter than me

[BigMcLargehuge]

116. bring it

like I said, cage or no cage. I'll dial 91 and then when you scream for help I'll dial 1 again.

[Bouncy Ball]

117. but you will have a hard time being on the phone when

i have you in a full nelson giving you knuckle sandwiches.

i hope your thirsty

[BigMcLargehuge]

118. LOL

like I said, bring it.

[Bouncy Ball]

123. I just gone done with a training session

in my back yard. it was so good it scared my dog.

so if I were you, "big" i wouldnt' be so hot on cage fighting me but whatever your pleasure is

I have a meeting with my trainer tomorrow

I didn't want to give this away, but sense you are so insistant here is what i do to my opponents:

How to create a protective shield that will NOT ALLOW any fighter to come close to striking you at any time! (The Muay Thai kickboxers who faced Tom call it " voodoo " defense because they are so amazed they can't penetrate it ... but it's really just a simple secret - easily mastered once you know what to do -- of redirecting incoming energy.)

How to quickly make a strong opponent weak! (You'll see his "will to fight" rush out of him like a punctured balloon, while he just exhausts himself with frustration and rage... turning him into a nice soft punching bag for you, no matter how big and angry he was to start.)

And... how to quickly open up a skilled attacker, knock him down and finish him off in seconds! ( All the options are yours... and he goes down when you decide to take him down!)

[BigMcLargehuge]

124. we can settle this in any ring you like

[qnr]

107. That's discrimination. What about a married "guy" ? n/t

[Bouncy Ball]

110. What does married have to do with it?

If you want to I'll cage fight you and your Mrs at the same time and watch her scream for me to show you extreme mercy

[qnr]

115. play on the "single" in your subject line.

[Bouncy Ball]

119. i didn't understand what you meant

but you can still bring your wife so she can see you rithe in pain and agony

[BigMcLargehuge]

120. first I will make you cry uncle

then, while you tap furiously for release (which I won't grant) I'll teach you to spell "writhe" properly.

[Bouncy Ball]

127. what kinda cage fighter cares about spelling?

oh ok what did i misspell teacher? LMAO

i will find your fighting blind spot and exploit it with no mercy

Do you have pain compliance?

[BigMcLargehuge]

128. I assume this will be a submission match?

[Bouncy Ball]

130. yes you submitting to my will

[BigMcLargehuge]

132. just keep telling yourself that

[qnr]

122. OK, though she tends to see that a lot with my bad knee anyway.

I'll give you a good 18 seconds of light exercise!

[Bouncy Ball]

125. you shall be my warmup before

i get started on big mouth mcwimpy

I feel sorry for him sort of because my secret weapon is people thinking oh shes a girl she can't beat me when I learned my techniques from the best

I've been thru instant domination training

[BigMcLargehuge]

126. the can with the fewest number of peanuts in it

makes the most noise when rattled

[Bouncy Ball]

129. Ha ha ha ha ha

the guy who thinks he has some kinda chinese stuff going on wiht the sayings and shit?

i didn't want to have to do this, but you have forced me to post a picture:

see what I told you

[BigMcLargehuge]

131. piffle

:shrug: