Because I hate you and don't respect your space, I'm smoking in the Lounge

[Rabrrrrrr]

Cigarettes, cigars, pipes, the whole works. I've got 'em all burning and I'm blowing the smoke in your face, too. I'm also wearing my hat, a cheap plastic redneck freeper-filth red Copenhagen baseball hat, even though we're inside, and I'm spitting tobacco on the floor. Oh, my leg is also propped up over the arm of the chair and I'm scratching myself and I've spilled six Millers already onto the astroturf that I'm using for an inside rug.

So there.
Nyah.

:P

[Worst Username Ever]

1. Just keep your shoes off the table.

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. Dude, where do you think they landed when I kicked them off?

I had to kick the shoes off cuz they was covered in manure or someone's blood or something, and I needed to use my pocketknife to pick out the crud under the toenails and peel off some of the calluses and blisters. I don't know why they get so damned dirty.

[RevolutionaryActs]

2. *cough, cough* *gag* *hack* *die*

:P

[Misunderestimator]

3. Hey there... Can I have a light?

:smoke:

[Joe Power]

5. I'll just sit next to you and fart.

Ever smell what a bowl of raisin bran washed down with a whey protein and egg smoothie can do?

[Thor_MN]

34. What?? No onions or peppers to back up the egg sulpher?

[bigwillq]

6. This is the type of thread I love

:smoke:

[Ready4Change]

7. I don't mind.

Just as I'm sure you won't mind me pissing in your beers.

Cheers!

[Rabrrrrrr]

8. Go right ahead! I just pissed in my pants and on the chair

and on the floor and all over my hand as well.

Why bother getting up? I just whip it out and let 'er fly.

[Joe Chi Minh]

11. So you're not a gentleman, then?

You don't get out of the bath to have a slash?

[Rabrrrrrr]

19. Depends on what you mean by gentleman.

And who takes a bath? Gross.

[Spinzonner]

9. Is that the best you can do

That wouldn't even get you onto Shrub's 'ranch'

[sendero]

10. I think...

... I'll light up a Camel. I hope nobody minds :)

[fluffernutter]

12. okay, who are you and what have you done w/Rabrrrrrr?

:P

[Bunny]

13. Fine. If that's how you're gonna be, I'm just gonna bring out ALL of my

fabulous, collectable, Thomas Kincaide paintings! And decorate the Lounge with them! So there! :P

[Rabrrrrrr]

15. That's fine! I'm already flinging my feces around and playing rap music

really loudly on my boombox. Might as well add some paintings to destroy, too.

Did I mention that I'm also chewing on a toothpick like some toothless, barely literate idiot who shows all the signs of having had a mom addicted to crack during the pregnancy?

[ornotna]

14. I don't give a rat fart what you do

Hey, I don't have to live with you....you do. :evilgrin:

[rbnyc]

16. Good thing my baby's at grandma's...

...or I'd kick your ass!!

[Rabrrrrrr]

20. Go right ahead!!

You coyuld only do it by kicking through the old dusty cheeto-laden lazy-boy I'm sitting on anyway, and you don't want to know what your foot would have to travel through first.

[Bill Lumbergh]

17. Hee-hee

I lobbied Pataki with the American Lung Association to pass the cigarette ban in NYS.

Now you guys can't smoke in any public place. I love it. Clean air, finally. It just angered me for years when people would smoke in restaurants and bowling alleys and I would have to breathe that putrid stench.

[Midlodemocrat]

18. You, sir, are disgusting.

but funny.


:evilgrin:

[Rabrrrrrr]

33. No no no. I'm funny, but disgusting.

There's a difference.

[NNadir]

21. Mmmm. I'm surprised I'm not coughing. I'll bet you are though.

[Rabrrrrrr]

22. Yeah, there's some coughing. But I just spit the mucous

on the floor, like my granny.

[NNadir]

23. I'm not cleaning it up. I think I'll just leave the room.

[Rabrrrrrr]

24. Did I mention the scratching? I just want to make sure you all

know that I'm scratching. I'm also scratching some scabies I have on my arm from when that dork-ass Todd burned me with his splif at the Maiden concert. Oh, god, that was hilarious!

Plus the other scratching.

[NNadir]

25. I hope you can hear me as I call out from the next room while putting my

coat on to leave...but those weren't lice were they?

[Rabrrrrrr]

27. Probably. That's what my social worker thought,

but then she's just a dumb bitch, so who knows? And who cares? They don't bother me, I don't bother them, and I think they keep my hair clean.

[mtnsnake]

26. You're the reason I hate people

:evilgrin: :yourock:

:smoke:

[Rabrrrrrr]

28. Whew! Musta passed out for a while from the sterno, but I'm awake again,

and firing up some fine baccy (brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp brrrrrrrp buuuuuuurrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpppPPPPPPPPPppppppp) products (hack hack spit).

Looks I pissed myself overnight, too. Oh well - not like I'm not used to it. LOL!!

Hey - Ma - throw me a beer, would ya? It's almost 9 am!

[dolo amber]

29. Just remember to put the seat down in the loo, sweetie

:hi:

[Rabrrrrrr]

30. Oh, right. Like I'm going to get out of my chair and WALK to what amounts

to just another chair just to go to the bathroom?

I don't think so.

I'm already in a chair, sweetie.

[dolo amber]

31. I've never thought of it that way!

YAY! I'm going to soil myself right now! :D

[Rabrrrrrr]

32. Excellent! Send pictures.

But don't send 'em to me. Anyway, here: have another Schlitz while I loudly pass gas and spit some more bloody phlegm at the TV.

[greatauntoftriplets]

35. Cough, cough, cough....

Opening the windows. I don't care how chilly and wet it is outside.

[mike_c]

36. I just scratched my hemorroids, looked at my finger-- eeww...

...and wiped it on your curtains.

[Rabrrrrrr]

38. Good idea - the curtains are the main area for wiping

Can't tell you much pus I've wiped there from sores and STDs and these zits that are like the size of the craters on the moon. Man, those were big! Should have seen the shit fly out of 'em when ma popped 'em with a barbie pin. And those were just the acne on my ass!

Yeah, all sorts of shit in those curtains. I think Pneumatic Tom used to wipe his dick on it when he had VD and I know great granddad used 'em for his boils.

[mike_c]

39. I bow before a true master....

You are The One.

[Thor_MN]

37. Nothing that the firehose and the dumpster can't handle when you're done

I'm gonna be wearing the bio-hazard suit with the self-contained air supply when I hose out the place, mind you, but whatever... Just let me know when.