Why does everyone hate bisexuals???? (Not a sex thread!)

[hollywood926]

Don't delete this, damn it! I have a serious concern!

I am a girl and I am attracted to both men and women, mostly women, but that's important right now. The point is that everyone has me all wrong! I don't want to sleep with everybody at the same time - being bisexual for me just means that it's possible for me to fall in love with either a man OR a woman.

Why does this create such a fright in people? Huh?

[BBradley]

1. Becuase you're only supposed to be attracted to one person ever

Your destined male overlord.

[rug]

2. I'm ambivalent about it

[Spinzonner]

11. I thought that was ambisexuous

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

3. try the glbt issues forum

would be a good topic to post

also:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=221&topic_id=4039

its about bisexual duers

[Name removed]

4. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Misunderestimator]

6. Wow, that was a pretty nasty thing to say.

[livinginphotographs]

7. That's kind of an ignorant attitude.

Maybe I'm missing the sarcasm....

I know several male bisexuals. They are far from sluts; they stay in monogamous relationships with whatever sex they are currently involved in.

[sundog]

8. what an intelligent observation

:eyes:

[bicentennial_baby]

9. Excuse the fuck out of me...

Why am I reading crap like this on DU? :puke:

[Medium Baby Jesus]

10. Thank you Rev. Falwell

:puke:

[JimmyJazz]

12. Ah - enlightenment - what a wonderful thing

:eyes:

[slutticus]

14. Dude, I think (hope) you forgot your "<sarcasm>" tag...

[Name removed]

23. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[frictionlessO]

37. sorry! very very sorry! didnt mean to make you delete me...

:cry:

[livinginphotographs]

5. I like bisexuals.

:)

[Rabrrrrrr]

13. I don't.

And the problem is, most people are so fucked up about sexuality, that even most of the enlightened ones who can handle homosexuality, can't handle bisexuality.

WHO FUCKING CARES?????!!!!!!

I sure as hell don't.

be as bi or gay or transgendered or transexual or whatever as you want.

IT SHOULDN'T FUCKING MATTER AT ALL TO ANYONE FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER!!!!!!!

Stupid fucking useless braindead moran asshole fucks.

IT'S JUST SEX AND LOVE, PEOPLE! NOT NUCLEAR WAR!!!

Sheesh.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

15. because we dont fit into their neat little niches

[mike_c]

16. a serious answer....

I don't know the answer to your last question because it's pretty incomprehensible to me why anyone would care more about the gender of the person you love than they would care about your happiness. As for the rest, good on 'ya. Don't worry about what other people think. In time, those who don't judge you because of your bisexuality will remain your friends and will give you support. You don't need the others and are better off not having them pissing on your happiness.

Find someone you care for and who cares for you. Nothing else matters more than that. Be who you are and enjoy it.

[RagingInMiami]

17. Because they're flip floppers.

And you know how horrible that is.

[sundog]

18. You'll deal with it your whole life...

People find safety in ignorance.

The best thing you can do is know yourself... and try not to let the cattle get in the way. ;)

[NNadir]

19. Not EVERYONE hates bisexuals. I was in love with one once.

It didn't work out, but she was a very nice person. I hope she's happy whoever or whichever she ended up with.

[GreenPartyVoter]

20. Because it means folks worry about not half the

world's population wanting to get with their honey, but the entire thing.

Plus, then there's the concern of "I don't have that equipment, how do I compete with that?"

It's all about the insecurity, I think.

----------------------------------------------------------
Save this nation one town, county, and state at a time!
http://timeforachange.bluelemur.com/electionreform.htm#why

[Bombtrack]

21. I don't know what you're talking about. Me and most guys I know love

bisexuality in women and would never have less of an opinion of a woman for it and usually a higher one.

[johnnie]

22. Who is everyone?

I don't hate them. Do whatever you want, it doesn't bother me.

[hollywood926]

25. By everyone I mean both straight and gay people...not literally everyone

[johnnie]

27. Sorry

I'm not trivializing your situation. I didn't mean to sound like that anyway.
I know that discrimination exist with all types of people and I understand the frustrations that come with that. I personally don't care what anyone does as long as they aren't hurting each other.

[fluffernutter]

24. i have no idea why some people get their panties in a wad

over bisexuality.
fear? not being able to grasp the concept of love? i don't know, but i think it's completely rediculous.

[Left Is Write]

26. Um, I had no idea "everyone" hated bisexuals. I don't.

[barackmyworld]

28. the idea of bisexual women has been exoticized

I don't know if I spelled that correctly, but I think the problem is the many men that think of bisexual women as their only chance of being in a threesome. I am not sure why society can't comprehend the ability of someone to LOVE both genders/sexes.

[sundog]

30. good point

I believe there is a double standard when it comes to bi women & bi men... not with all people, but in a general sense.

The "exoticism" plays into the straight male fantasy and is therefore "safe" or at least "safer."

[Samurai_Writer]

29. As a bisexual woman, I can answer this...

Straight men are threatened by us because they think: bisexual woman = automatic threesome for them, and when they find out it DOESN'T, they worry about us leaving for another man OR a woman.

Lesbians are threatened by us because they think: bisexual woman = can't go without d*ck = thinking about their lover with a man = totally disgusting. The lesbians I have dated constantly obsessed over 'when' I was going to leave them for a man. Not IF, but WHEN.

So where does this leave bisexual women? With either a male lover who thinks she's easy and will be more willing to 'play' with others, or a female lover who is jealous and insecure over her sexuality.

And people wonder why I don't date very often.

Peace,
Bella

[hollywood926]

31. Wow, Bella...

That is exactly right. And it's why I don't date very often, either. :-(

[liontamer]

32. well said, but plenty of bi people help to perpetuate the stereotype

The "why don't you understand that I need a man and a woman" type :eyes:
There's nothing wrong with being polyamorous, but people (on all sides of the issue) need to learn that there's a difference between being poly and being bi

[Lex]

33. I think lesbian women are 'insecure' being with a bisexual woman

for good and valid reasons.

For one thing, being in a lesbian relationship is far more difficult than being in a straight one. With a man as your partner, you can get married plus you get all of society's pats on the head about being in a (hetero) relationship, getting engaged, having the big fantasy wedding, making sweet little babies . . . You know, your whole family and all your friends like that sort of thing.

How exactly can a lesbian compete with all that, when, at her option, her bisexual girlfriend can opt for all that with no problem.

At least if a lesbian is with another lesbian the above scenario doesn't figure into the situation.

Maybe that's where the insecurity comes from with the lesbian as she relates to a bisexual woman.

(PS--I don't think it's the penis-envy thing at all--you can get those in all shapes, sizes, and colors fairly easily from a catalog or online.)

[Samurai_Writer]

34. that whole marriage/babies thing...

was not an issue with me, though. I've been married twice, will NEVER do it again, and had my last child 23 years ago. And even when I was in a monogamous, committed relationship with a woman for several years, she STILL was insecure about me being a bisexual. Like I could not control myself since I could be attracted to both sexes. She was not the only one like that, either. Several of my lesbian friends have flat-out told me they would never date a bisexual because of the 'unfaithfulness' factor. I was like "what?!?" Just because someone is bisexual does NOT mean they are promiscuous or can't be monogamous.

Oh, and I thought 'real lesbians' didn't use toys. *KIDDING!*

[Lex]

41. I guess being in a hetero relationship is so much easier

in terms of family and the world at large that lesbians just figure the bisexual woman will eventually just take the easier route.

What if I were African-American but you could be African-American or Causasian at will? I guess as an African-American I might assume that you'd find it much easier to live your life as a white person eventually. (I hope that example doesn't offend anyone.)


('Real lesbians' don't use toys! What! What about 'real heteros'--do they?) :)

[JVS]

35. Because unless you are willing to give up sex with one of the genders...

your sexual orientation precludes a long-term monogamous relationship.

[Samurai_Writer]

38. sexual orientation does not equal sexual activity!

I can be attracted equally to both men and women, even if I am in a monogamous relationship. If I am in a relationship with a woman, I can still find men attractive. I don't ACT on that attraction, of course. Same if I am in a relationship with a man.

I've been in LTR with men and women (separately, not together!). Although I'm not opposed to polyamory, I don't really think it works for the most part.

So, my sexual orientation can be bisexual even if I am in a LTR with one gender. Comprende?

[JVS]

39. Can you swear off one gender forever?

Because unless it is known that this is possible, you bring very little to someone who seeks a marriage.

[hollywood926]

40. I don't think you understand...

Let's say I fall in love with a man and we get married. I'm still a bisexual, because it's still possible for me to fall in love with either a man or a woman. Assuming I am in love with him, I wouldn't be looking for anyone else, but I'd still be a bisexual.

I wouldn't be swearing anything off, any more than a heterosexual woman swears off being a heterosexual when she gets married to a man.

[JVS]

42. Ok I understand you now

But the reasons that I gave are still valid reasons for why someone might want to steer clear of a relationship with you. They might not believe you will be able to commit

[sendero]

36. I dunno...

...

I know there are *some* psychiatrists who don't believe there is really any such thing as a true bisexual. They think that everyone will eventually choose a team and stick with it.

Frankly, it's your thang, do what you wanna do.

[noshenanigans]

43. I'm a bisexual woman, and I totally understand what you mean..

I can be attracted to a man or a woman, depending on any number of factors. Like people have mentioned before, it's been eroticized in this "Hey, this mean's she'll be into a threesome" thing. :eyes:

I think people are scared because they think you're "really gay" and would leave them for the opposite gender. I mean, personally I think this is more prevalent with men, because in my experience they seem to be just more scared in general, but I think that's what is comes down to: they don't have to "compete" with only their gender, but everyone.

[eek MD]

44. My opinion...

I don't think most liberals hate bisexuals....maybe misunderstand them, but don't hate them....(Conservatives are a different story, obviously)

However, in a relationship, jealousy and caution tends to fester a bit.... Not only is your partner worried about losing you to someone of the their own sex......but they're also worried about losing you to someone of the other sex........

Relationships are difficult even if the two people agree on most things....every major thing that they disagree about (sexual orientation, politics, etc) adds a whole 'nother dimension to the difficulty. *shrug*