When you hug someone do you do the back patting thing ?

[jdots]

someone told me that when you do the patting action it is a sign of non affection or fear.
If I got to hug a neocon I would hug them really tight till they turned blue......

[Left Is Write]

1. I might buy the "sign of non-affection" theory.

Before I even read that line - had just read your title - the answer that popped into my head was that I don't do the back patting unless I'm uncomfortable with the hug for some reason.

[Obviousman]

2. I always do the pat

[jdots]

5. Do they do the patting in Europe ?

I used to do the patting thing then when It was brought up as being uptight I stopped, it sure freaks some people out which is good for a laugh.If it's a relative you don't like just nibble on thier ear when they hug you.
My gay friends are very real and have no problem with hugging.
My dog gets pissed off when i hug him,thats why he is in therapy trying to get in touch with his inner puppy...
Shaking hands is a strange thing.

[dback]

3. I think that's a repressed straight-guy thing, mostly

It seems to be an unspoken sign of "See, I'm not really HOLDING you--that would be too girly. Now we have a backslap, and that's a sign to let go and not draw this out." My guy friends who're really comfortable with their sexuality tend to linger more and not do the backslap thing, whereas guys who have some minor hangups are definitely slappers. (Those are also the guys who refuse to even speculate in an alternate universe about which same-sex celebrity they would sleep with, lest they be thought "unmanly" or gay.) I know of almost no women that do the backslap-thing.

[MercutioATC]

4. I actually agree.

It's like "I'm hugging you, but I'm hitting you, too."

Hitting sort of evens it out.