You know a movie is going to be bad when...

[nickgutierrez]

The first name in the credits is Bert Reynolds.

Post your 'favorites'.

[EstimatedProphet]

1. when the star is Britney Spears or the Spice Girls

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

2. Its one of those ABC Family Channel movies ...

Its a moving starring Jennifer Love Hewitt ...

[nickgutierrez]

10. Or the Lifetime Channel

(Yeah, I said it... :P )

[Sandpiper]

3. When it stars Ben Affleck

n/t

[nickgutierrez]

4. Or Matt Damon

Or Jason Biggs
Or Ben Stiller
Or... you get the idea.

[Kire]

8. delete post

you get the idea

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

15. Following you :

Any movie starring Meredith Baxter Birney , Melissa Gilbert or Victoria Principal .

[JohnKleeb]

18. lemme debunk that

Dogma with both Damon and Affleck was great
Stiller was great in Something about Mary and Dodgeball.

[Guaranteed]

23. The Bourne series are a couple of the best action movies

I've ever seen, and the Talented Mr. Ripley contained a superb performance by Damon, as well as being an excellent movie.

[ProfessorGAC]

41. Damon Was Great In Rounders, Too

Hey, he was in that movie with Landau, Norton, and Malkovich. If he didn't have skills, he would have been annihilated. He wasn't. Superb performance. Matt Damon has the chops.
The Professor

[Kenneth ken]

5. when

the adverts say "music by...<insert numerous bands here> rather than say who the actors are. :scared:

[ronzo]

6. Two words... Dolph. Lundgren.

[Mojambo]

16. Two more... Pauly. Shore.

[ronzo]

47. At least we were spared that duo in a cop buddy flick.

c'mon... you know somebody pitched that back in 1992.

[LiberalVoice]

7. You know a movie is going to be bad when...

...it's called "Tank Girl"

[nickgutierrez]

12. Ooh -- good one. n/t

[alittlelark]

9. The previews show only the special effects....n/t

[Dogmudgeon]

11. When it was written by Allen Smithee

--p!
Bring a little rebirth to politics and to Humankind.
Display the Eye of Horus in honor of Scott "Khephra" Lowery and affirm his vision of a renewed America.

[fishwax]

40. or directed by him (n/t)

[WCGreen]

13. When the Trailer Starts..... In A World.........

[Strawman]

52. Yes. or "One man..."

[Strawman]

53. or ends with "so-and-so is..."

[barackmyworld]

14. when the preview includes the words "wacky adventure"

they are usually movies about safari animals that act like people and do crazy things

[livinginphotographs]

25. Any movie with the word "wacky" anywhere in it

(e.g. title, dialogue, etc.) should be boycotted!!!

[ET Awful]

17. You know a movie is going to be bad when . . .

The Freepers are excited and happy about it's release.

on edit: It must be REALLY bad to star Bert Reynolds, what, they couldn't get Burt? :) Burt has done some okay stuff since he got older, it's his younger days that blew. For instance, I thought Boogie Nights was an okay movie, not great, but entertaining. Then again, he wasn't the FIRST name in the credits on that one, so you may be right :)

[BigMcLargehuge]

28. Bert was good in a couple of his late 80's flicks

Breaking In, Heat, Switching Channels. Of course these are all overshadowed by the horror that is Stroker Ace.

[HughBeaumont]

19. "From the Director of Clerks . ..."

Sorry, but I don't really see what's so flipping great about KS.

[jonnyblitz]

50. me either. n/t

[Jeff in Cincinnati]

20. If the title contains the word "Ishtar"

[terrya]

21. When the credits say: Directed by Michael Bay

A worthless, untalented director of such pieces of celluoid shite as "Armageddon" and "Pearl Harbor". Crappy, special effects laden bullshit with zero character development. The dialogue in his films is trite, amateurish and laughable. But, due to the dumbing down of American culture, his films rake in big bucks at the box office.

[Feathered Fish]

22. When the only praise the film gets

is from Wireless Magazine or Larry King.

[BigMcLargehuge]

24. you find yourself looking forward to the "guest appearance" from

Michael Ironside

[livinginphotographs]

26. When it stars a rapping kangaroo.

Good god, what were they thinking?

[terrya]

30. When the film stars Jerry O'Connell.

The guy has had ONE good movie: "Stand By Me". But the he grew up, lost the weight, and turned into a crappy, Grade Z actor in crappy, Grade Z movies.

[livinginphotographs]

31. First season of Sliders was cool.

So I'll give him an ounce of forgiveness for his future suckiness.

[DS1]

34. I have such an intense dislike for the guy.

He irritates me like few others, maybe it's the cutesy-but-in-all-actuality-moronic looks he tries to pull off.

[nickgutierrez]

71. Yeah. Rapping animals = bad.

That's one of those things that's never not true.

[Rabrrrrrr]

27. Tom Cruise is in it or Celine did the soundtrack

[Rabrrrrrr]

29. it's directed by Ron "No Artistic Vision" Howard

[ET Awful]

32. Aww, come on, he's had a few good ones :)

A Beautiful Mind
Apollo 13
Parenthood
Willow

Hell, even Cocoon and Splash while not "good" movies, have their moments :)

Yeah, most of his stuff sucks, but there have been a few good ones from little Opie Cunningham :)

[Rabrrrrrr]

37. I didn't see Apollo 13, but the rest of those sucked

I was disappointed greatly by each and every one of them. And "A Beautiful Mind" I didn't even know was directed by him until my friend and I were watching the credits because we both said, at the end, "Who directed this POS?"

Parenthood - I also thought it was drek, and I wasn't even conscious of it being a Ron Howard movie.

Willow - just kinda bad and uninspired, like everything Howard does.

I'm actually afraid to see Apollo 13, because the space program is so near and dear to me that I fear being offended by the movie and dashing all my romantic notions about space exploration.

[ET Awful]

45. Bah, you're just an elitist snob :) n/t

[Rabrrrrrr]

62. Maybe. But I'm a *correct* elitist snob

:P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P

:hi: ET Awful!

[DS1]

33. There's one "tell" that's infalliable. If HBO has a sneak-peek 20 minute

show dedicated to an upcoming movie, it is guaranteed to SUCK :7

[ProfessorGAC]

44. Boy, That's A Good One

I'd have never thought of that, but when i read your post, i immediately thought "Yeah, that's right!" Almost a kiss of death, isn't it?
The Professor

[Richardo]

35. "Produced by Dino Delaurentiis"

:puke:

[XNASA]

36. My folks say..."We saw the best movie the other day!"

[stanwyck]

67. not my folks but a couple of my friends

there are some folks I really like who have just the worst taste in movies. Like "Patch Adams" kind of bad. Then, there are people who I really don't like that much...but they do give me terrific tips on movie rentals. Hard to figure.

[kick-ass-bob]

38. "Alf" is in the title.

:evilgrin:

[NightTrain]

39. "Directed by William Shatner."

:puke:

[SPQR]

42. The preview starts:

"From the producer of....." Yep, we always check who the producer is before picking our movies, it's really your only guide to quality.

[fishwax]

43. It comes out on or shortly before Memorial Day weekend

Okay, that may be painting with too broad a brush, but most of those summer blockbusters suck.

[Aristus]

46. When the trailer narration begins with a stentorian:

"COMING THIS SUMMER.....!"

[BulletproofLandshark]

48. When the commercials for it are prefaced by...

"A Sci-Fi Channel premiere"

[Dora]

49. it's a Scorsese flick.

I unapologetically think that Scorsese sucks. No amount of argument will convince me otherwise.

[sundog]

51. It's called "De-Lovely"

:grr:

[CatBoreal]

54. Two more words : Uwe Boll

as in directed by....*shudder*

[NewJeffCT]

55. Starring Ronald Reagan...

Anything associated with the following folks:

Joel Schumacher
Anything produced by Joel Silver in the past 15 years, except the original Matrix (back in the 80s, Silver had some good action movies¡­ Lethal Weapon, Die Hard

Michael Bay, as stated by somebody else above.

Steven Seagal
Jean Claude Van Damme
Sylvester Stallone
George Lucas in the past 20 years
And, of course, anything starring Ronald Reagan

[mcscajun]

56. It's "A TNT Original"

Ugh.

[Bertha Venation]

57. You hear the title spoken in the first ten minutes of dialogue.

:eyes:

[rhino47]

58. Directed by Mel Gibson

I had the misfortune to veiw part of the passion (at my mother in laws)
I must say it angered me to the core.First off as a christain I sickened seeing the corporate jesus pornographically violent slasher flick.
It was obscene.Even my right wing nut mother in law agreed with me.(truth be told I couldnt take more then 5 mins of the blood bath)

[mcscajun]

59. Ads for the film include one and two-word quotes from the reviews.

Because they cannot use those flattering words in context.

"Spectacular" -- "This film is a spectacular example of poor direction."

"Stunning" -- "(actor name)'s performance is a stunning failure."

"A tour de force" -- "(Director name)'s previous film, a veritable tour de force, makes this new effort all the more disappointing."

Moviegoer Alert: Films expected to get good reviews and do well at the box office open on WEDNESDAY; films expected to get a poor reception open on Friday, in order to get at least one good weekend's box office before word of mouth kills the film.

[Connie_Corleone]

60. When Sean Young or

Angelina Jolie is in it.

[noonwitch]

61. Directed by Kevin Costner

"Waterworld"

[Worst Username Ever]

63. Pretty much anything rated PG-13

[Lydia Leftcoast]

64. When the trailer consists of nothing but special effects or

tells the whole story, including the ending.

[stanwyck]

65. Someone runs through an airport

to demonstrate how they've grown so much as a person that they now, finally, care. And they've just got to get there before their beloved leaves forever.
The running through the airport is the flop sweat of screenplays.

[Arkana]

66. ...it shows up on UPN two days before the release.

[Bok_Tukalo]

68. When you hear the line "The Dr. says she can't have children"

<eom>

[Guy Fawkes]

69. nobody cares enough to pirate it....

Or when the actors try to have it legaly blocked from showing (Pluto Nash).

[nytemare]

70. Direct to DVD!!! Starring Steven Seagal!!

He had his time in the late 80's and early 90's...now is not his time.

[DrWeird]

72. If it's based on a video game.

nt

[Hans Delbrook]

73. When it's advertised as the "Feel Good Movie"

...of the summer, the season etc. Shudder.

[sakabatou]

74. The movie only comes dubbed.