Limerick Flame War

[TXlib]

You think all your posts are so smart,
but you have all the class of a fart.
I can tell that you're witless,
gutless, and scared-shitless.
Now, begone! Or I'll tear you apart!

[cruadin]

1. I know that you don't really mean it.

But you wrote it and now I have seen it.
I was just on my way out,
when I saw your lame spout;
Now you've started a thread of lame wit.

[TXlib]

4. If dumbness were painful, my friend

the screaming from you would not end.
You're a sad sort of feller,
living in your Mom's cellar,
To you, 'The Bird' I extend!

[Bok_Tukalo]

24. I constantly hear of the flame

Though nowhere can I find who's to blame
I read posts at least twice
Every one seems so nice
Perhaps it is me with no shame

[McKenzie]

2. four and twenty freepers came up to Inverness

and when the night was over
there were four and twenty less
they can try to flame in Scotland
but we'll line 'em up against the wall
they think they're smart and stuff
but they really know bugger all

That's based upon the "Ball of Kirriemuir" (Birthplace of J M Barrie, author of Peter Pan) but if I post the unexpurgated version here I'll get the bum's rush...

[Squatch]

3. Reading your post is making me sick

I want to smash your head in with a brick
You know I could kick your ass
But I dare not be so brash
So I'll settle if you just suck my d***

[TXlib]

6. Your limerick does lack in its meter

And your imagery does seem to teeter
on the edge of nonsense,
And your rhymes are too tense.
My limericks are def'nitely sweeter!

[Squatch]

8. My, you took your time to respond

And of your answer I am none too fond
There is only one clue
to your diminished IQ
You must have a head of blonde

[TXlib]

12. You pustulent scab of a troll:

Your rantings are simply not droll.
It seems that your cranium
is as dense as uranium.
I'm alerting the Mods: you're a mole.

[Taxloss]

5. On dangerous ground your post treads,

I could report you to the Feds.
But oh no much worse,
And I'll say it in verse,
I'll tell mods you posted sex threads.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

7. What rock hurled you forth, brainless dick?

Of sense, you must have not a lick!
Did you throw it away
Or were you born that way,
Crazed Texan of vile limerick?

[TXlib]

9. O, poxy slattern, desist!

Your brain can't be more than a cyst!
Now, put your mouth to good use,
and suck out all my man-juice.
Get to it, before I get pissed!

[Squatch]

10. I can't decide what's funnier

you limericks are getting punnier
but my biggest source of glee
is the fact that I see
your face has gotten yet uglier

[TXlib]

14. To you, the Gods were most cruel!

For your mind is that of a fool.
Your face and your ass
could be swapped. But, Alas!
'Twould be an improvement, you mule!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

11. In this vile act I cannot participate

For it's clear that thou art in a dickless state.
But don't feel too bad
That thou can't be a cad
For I'd sooner a giant dill pickle sate!

[TXlib]

13. You vile and feculent wench:

Upon you hangs a great stench!
Your breath is like belching
after a session of felching!
'Twixt your legs, seems like a grave-trench!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

22. In this age of sharp tongues and dull wits

Your foul odor inspires skunks to fits.
As if that's not enough
You hail 'thugs in to cuff!
Do you want to give DU the shits?!?

[TXlib]

15. The freepers can't hope to match wits

with your bard, T-X-lib. They're all twits!
I challenged them all
to a limerick fur-ball
And I OWN3D them; now let's see them pitch fits!

[TXlib]

16. kick

[victim]

17. Your lim'ricks are quite reckless

No wound they doth inflcit, much less
Red blooded passions arouse
'Tis well-known with sheep thou doth carouse
In sum, I find thee quite feckless

[TXlib]

19. victim, your screenname rings true

for in verse I shall sodomise you.
For mercy you'll beg
as you're notched down a peg.
Feel free to scream 'til you're blue.

[Red State Rebel]

18. Your veracity impresses me not

You're an impudent whale of a snot
While you bray and you hoot
At your limmericks so cute
No talent is what you have got!

[TXlib]

20. 'Ad Hominem' -- a pathetic attack

but fret not, for I'll get you back:
You seem to be so thick.
Can you spell the word "limerick"?
Just admit, for verse you've no knack!

[Red State Rebel]

23. In my last work a misspelling did creep

But to assume idiocy now is a leap
My rhymes are a treat
And your dregs can't compete
Perhaps you should just quit and Freep?

[TXlib]

25. Now listen, you simpering tot.

There's a reason I assume you a sot.
But to recommend freepage
suggests anal seepage
has entered your brain and caused rot.

[TXlib]

21. kick