I am No Doctor. Ask me anything.

[Bat Boy]

I promise to give you the absolute worst medical advice.

[Zomby Woof]

1. I have a pimple on my ass

Should I pop it?

[Bat Boy]

9. Absolutely not.

You don't want to anger them.

My suggestion is to use a belt sander with a very light grade of sandpaper. To keep the pimple from becoming upset put in a DVD of The Jazz Singer, the Neil Diamond version, and perform the entire procedure with your buttocks toward the TV screen.

[Zomby Woof]

11. far....I've been traveling far!

Hey! It didn't work! Just like you promised!

[Bat Boy]

21. If I've lived up to my promise...

Then the situation should be significantly worse.

You're welcome.

[progmom]

2. what's this spot on my face?

Do you think it could be fatal?

[Bat Boy]

10. It's marinara sauce...

And yes, it's fatal. I'm sorry.

[progmom]

26. I was afraid of that.

Damn those killer tomatoes.



Sure were tasty, though.

[Osamasux]

3. My eye hurts when I drink tea. What should I do?

[auntAgonist]

8. Take the spoon out of the cup!

[Bat Boy]

12. Add more spoons to the cup.

Spoons behave best in a "pack' environment. It's quite possible that you have a lonely, angry spoon.

[Zomby Woof]

4. And have Susang check her inbox NOW

It is urgent she knows I have a serious mea culpa waiting for her.

[Bat Boy]

14. Mea Culpas require immediate medical attention!

Which should only be administered at your local Olive Garden.

They are the only ones with a salad bar that can meet the challenge.

[Zomby Woof]

16. If they're like chick peas

Do not put them in your nose. Dan Quayle told me this.

[AuntiBush]

5. Suffering from Bushitphobia...

Can you help?

[Bat Boy]

15. Yes.

But I won't.

[nutsnberries]

6. does this look infected to you?

no pic - just couldn't resist pretending to be David Letterman.

hi BatBoy, I'm afraid of bats, tell me why I shouldn't be afraid of you.

[Bat Boy]

17. No, it doesn't look infected.

It looks dead and should be immediately removed.

And you shouldn't be afraid of me, because when you aren't it makes it easier for me to sneak up on you.

[nutsnberries]

22. geez,

that's exactly why I'm afraid of them!

they've snuck up on me more than once! :scared: :scared: :scared:

don't, ok? just don't - pleez.

[Bat Boy]

23. I wouldn't dream of it.

Ooh! Look at the monkey! Look at the monkey!

[nutsnberries]

24. monkey? where?

oh!

:cry:

[Bat Boy]

25. Booga Booga!

God I love doing that....

[crispini]

7. I have an extra toe.

Should I amputate it myself?

[Bat Boy]

18. No. Never attempt to amputate spare digits.

Add new ones until you achieve symmetry.

[crispini]

20. LOL.

I'll get right on that. :7

[PartyPooper]

13. This thread is against DU rules!

It's against the law to give out medical advice on this forum.

:D

:hi:

[Bat Boy]

19. The law of nature...

But I've broken that before.