Gents, you do NOT have the worst ex-GF in the world. Mr Jones does.

[Bucky]

Trust me on this, fellas. Next time you want to gripe about your woman or your former significant other, you remember the cautionary tale of Geoffrey Jones.

A woman today admitted ripping off her ex-boyfriend’s testicle with her bare hands after he refused to have sex with her.
Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage after her ex-lover, 37-year-old Geoffrey Jones, rejected her advances at the end of a drunken house party.
She yanked off his left testicle, which was later handed to him by a friend with the words: "That’s yours."
Monti, of Birkenhead, Merseyside, pleaded guilty to wounding at Liverpool Crown Court today and will be sentenced next month.

In a related story, the British are no longer to be considered more sophisticated than us. Kudos to Ron Davis's Chatter Blog for this one.

[Taverner]

1. YIKES!

[wtmusic]

2. What do you think his nickname will be?

Oh never mind.

[Bouncy Ball]

4. One-Nut Johnny?

[JVS]

6. What do you think HER nickname will be?

[Kire]

9. Testicle Tearer

or, Terror (get it?)

[Bouncy Ball]

10. Oh that's easy

Ball-Buster

[wtmusic]

20. Sidesaddle n/t

[Bouncy Ball]

21. LMFAO!!!!!

Ok we have a winner. Sidesaddle. Oh my God.

[pres2032]

3. ooowwww

that's a special kind of hurt right there

[Bouncy Ball]

5. Oddly, I keep trying to picture this

I mean HOW does one rip ONE testicle off? What, did she use her fingernails to get it started, kinda like you have to do with an orange peel?

Or did she just grab and pull so hard it just popped out?

And my God, didn't he have problems with bleeding, etc?

How did they treat him?

I'm so concerned for this guy. Not even Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction did that to Michael Douglas and she was fucking NUTS (no pun intended).

[pres2032]

8. that's unitentionally the funniest post made tonight!

[Bouncy Ball]

7. Oh, um, my.

From the article:

Monti initially tried to hide the testicle by putting it in her mouth, but released it. Doctors were unable to re-attach the organ.

[Dookus]

11. and your username

just mocks the whole sad situation. Shame!

[Bouncy Ball]

13. ...

:bounce: :bounce:

At least I have two balls.

[Bucky]

14. Why not re-attach? It's been cleaned after all.

Sorry.

[Bouncy Ball]

16. I think maybe it's really hard to do that.

Aren't there all kinds of tiny little blood vessels and then there is the vas deferens which can't be easy to reattach.

I mean maybe they could pop it back in there and kinda sew up his scrotum but the testicle wouldn't be attached to anything, it'd just be kinda free floating in there and what if it got wedged up on the other side or in his body or something?

I think they have to be anchored somehow.

[nickgutierrez]

12. Everybody is missing the best part of the story.

What the hell was the friend thinking? Ok, he hands the guy his testicle, saying "that's yours." He must have been laughing his ass off...

[Bouncy Ball]

15. I think the best part was that she tried to HIDE the testicle in her MOUTH

like he'd go, "Wait, I seem to be missing something. Hmmm, what is it?" And he'd like, totally forget or something and she could say

"Your testicle? Testicle? Like your NUT? Um, why? Is it missing? Which one? Wow. Yeah, I have no idea, I haven't seen it."

But of course, this would all be very muffled and strange sounding because of the testicle in her mouth. I guess she could just say she had a very large wad of gum.

[nickgutierrez]

17. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I'm in tears here. My stomach hurts and my sides are sore. This is some of the funniest stuff I've read in a while.

The guy's friend is still intriguing to me. For one, why is he even a part of this story? What must that phone call have been like?

Victim: "Hey buddy, she bit off my nut, man."
Friend: (waking up) "Who? What? Your who?"
Victim: "My nut, you idiot. She bit off. My. Testicle."
Friend: "Dude. That must suck."
Victim: "Fuck you. Get your ass over here."

The friend must have been pissed. So it only makes sense that he has some smart-ass comment like "this is yours" upon finding the missing part.

[Bouncy Ball]

19. Remember they are British

it would TOTALLY be like them to hand a poor sop his nut and say "Yeah I found this, I think it's yours." ("I asked some of the other wankers in there and no one else was missing a nut.")

They are the MASTER of the understatement.

[slutticus]

18. OMFG

[Bouncy Ball]

23. Hey aren't you Dr. Slutticus now?

How hard would it be to reattach a testicle?

[slutticus]

25. I'm not that kinda doctor!

:scared:

I'm still trying to figure out how only one testicle got ripped of and not the whole sac.

[Bouncy Ball]

26. This is what I think happened.

I think when she grabbed and pulled hard (and thank GOD he was really drunk! Whew!) she ripped the scrotum (she had to), quite possibly near his body, and the left testicle was ripped out in the process (tearing the vas deferens and all the little blood vessels, etc) and came out where what rip was.

:shrug:

I'm not even a doctor at all, but I dunno.

Hey, what kind of doctor are you? And congrats! Was it recent?

[slutticus]

29. Man. That just hurts me deeply.

.....anyway...

Thanks.
I got my PhD in chemical engineering, I defended my dissertation in september and I technically graduated in December. Right now I'm sending out cover letters and CVs to some personal contacts. I will be up all night.

[Bouncy Ball]

22. Think about this PARTY, though!!!

I mean have YOU ever had a party where you said "What the hell is THAT? Is that a testicle over there? Damn, HEY!!! WHO'S MISSING A NUT??? IS THIS YOURS?"

I mean THAT is a party.

[Neoma]

24. haha yeah thats a good point

[Kire]

27. Maybe she's pissed she's not Mrs. Jones

They could have had a thing going on.

[nickgutierrez]

28. As it turned out, a thing came off instead.

:evilgrin: