I was rejected by a potential date.

[Gothic Sponge]

My friend wanted to set me up on a date with this girl i had met once at a party. She thought i was attractive, but when she found out i wasn't "established" she said forget it. I lost my job a while ago, and i've been working crap jobs to pay the bills. I'm back in college to "reinvent" myself, but i guess it's going to be lonely until i do.

Feeling dejected.
:cry:

[DrGonzoLives]

1. She's shallow, who the hell cares

What does "established" mean, anyway?

[tk2kewl]

2. Sounds like she has a freeper outlook on life

so you probably aren't missing much

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. Ah, she's just a shallow cu*t.

Not worth your time, O Gothic One. You can do WAY better than her.

But, that said, I understand the hurt. It sucks being rejected, especially for economic reasons. Somehow that seems to hit worse - probably because we worship money in this country, and do so much to equate a person's monetary worth with their worth as a human being.

[Dookus]

7. I don't know if I'd go that far

Yes, she's missing out on GS, but I don't think it's unreasonable to want certain things in a potential mate.

After a string of boyfriends, I finally decided that my minimal standards were a) a job b) a car and c) no outstanding warrants.

I had good reason for requiring all of those things. Luckily, the current Mr. Dookus fits the bill.

[Bouncy Ball]

12. Yeah but Goth

has a job, car and I bet no outstanding warrants. Your standards are realistic. Hers sound.....snotty, to be honest.

[Rabrrrrrr]

14. You are correct, of course - I should have finessed my statement

They should see someone in college as being established.

GS isn't a lazy welfare cheat or bum or do-nothing freeper-type living with his mom and writing hate emails to small women in distant states while he masturbates himself with a picture of a three-hundred pound male pipefitter.

GS has no income, but he's in school. That shows a lot of responsibility and good possibilities for the future.

So, in that sense, I agree with myself.

But I also agree with you that one should, indeed, look at a potential partner's work ethic and financial situation (not so much income, but their responsibility with money). Doing that is just sane.

[Bouncy Ball]

17. What a very detailed description you gave! LOL!

[Dookus]

19. I understand

but I don't know anything about this woman. If she feels that way at 22, then yes, it's sort of silly. But if she's 35, I think she's probably entitled to want certain things.

At 22, dating should be for fun, and no doubt she'd have plenty of fun with GS. But at 35, it's more about finding a partner.

[Bouncy Ball]

8. Exactly right

and that sucks.

People really shouldn't do that, but they do.

[fluffernutter]

4. what a superficial bitch.

you are WAY too cool for her! don't feel dejected, we love you :loveya:

[Bouncy Ball]

5. What kind of a shallow person

rejects someone for THAT?

Sheesh. If I had felt that way, I would have never met and married the love of my life. He was a SPC in the Army when I met him, netting a whopping $800 a month--below the poverty line.

But he was sweet and smart and funny and incredibly sexy and amazing and interesting and my God, how could I resist all that?

Goth, FWIW, and I really mean this, if I were single and I lived near you, I'D date you!

[flamingyouth]

6. Feh - who needs someone like that

You're too good for her. Trust me.

Edit - the love of my life is in college and doesn't have a job. And that's just fine with me because I adore him.

[tjdee]

9. That's stupid---hasn't she ever heard Sk8ter Boi??

"He was a sk8ter boi she said see ya later boi he wasn't good enough for her
She had a pretty face but her head was up in space she needed to come back down to earth..."
:silly:


And what was litle miss prissy perfect doing with her life? Winning Nobel Prizes?

[smbolisnch]

10. Is she crazy???

She's obviously not worth it! If I weren't a married woman, I'd ask you out myself so you could make her realize just how crazy she is ;)
Forget her, you'll find someone who deserves you :loveya:

[B Calm]

11. You should have said your job was managing the family fortune

and you liked working odd jobs to meet people..

[liberalhistorian]

16. LOL!

Wouldn't that be neat to have seen the look on her face?

[liberalhistorian]

13. Well, as far as I'm concerned,

she did you a favor since you don't really want or need to go out with someone who's that shallow and superficial, you really don't. And people like that always get their comeuppance in the end. It may take awhile, but they do. You deserve to go out with someone who'll accept and appreciate you for you, and not for how much money you have or what kind of fancy job or car or house you have.

And I can tell you that being a single parent is a built-in character indicator. If someone doesn't want to go out with me because I'm a single parent (and believe me, that's happened more than you might think), then I'm not even disappointed, because I don't want to even go out with, much less be involved with, someone who feels that way. They're doing me a favor, frankly. It took me awhile to understand that, and I used to get very upset over it, but I finally saw the light.

[China_cat]

The important things

aren't the ones that cost. Rather than be dejected, you should rejoice that that bullet missed you.

[alittlelark]

15. Someone to avoid.

I have a number of friends from HS and college who gush about 'how lucky' I was to marry a rich guy.

They seem to forget that we met in HS when he had no$, and his father had had to declare bankruptcy, that the majority of our dates were fast food and hatchbacks! One of them used to call him a 'loser' when we started dating (she doesn't seem to remember that).

Even a few of the reasonable, intelligent womenn I know have these predjudices. Ignore them. The shallowness will damage you when you attempt to dive in.

[OhioBlue]

18. Don't feel dejected. She didn't really know you for one

additionally, c'mon now, we all have our baggage. Who's to say her decision even had anything to do with you. She could just be going through a bad time herself and either not want to date or still be holding a candle for someone and not want to subject someone else to it. She may have just been making an excuse (even though the excuse sucked). Don't take it to heart. I've dated plenty of guys that were not "established", well actually, I've never dated a guy that was "established". Anyway....I've also decided not to date a few based on bogus excuses that I tried to convince myself were valid. Usually it was b/c I just wasn't in a good place to date.

[Frogtutor]

20. Sounds like it's her loss...

Since I've started hanging out in DU I've read lots of your posts. You seem like a really great guy, and it's a shame there are such shallow people out there!

I'm sure you won't be lonely long; besides, you want to date someone who wants to date you for the RIGHT reasons!


:hug:

[AFSCME girl]

22. Very well put,

Frogtutor. Hang in there Goth! Don't let this superficial person get you down! :hi:

AFSCME girl :)

[Gothic Sponge]

21. Thanks my friends.

I know i can always count on the good people of DU to make me smile. I don't blame the girl. Everyone wants to be with someone they know they can count on for security. Like it, or not, most people judge us by our bank accounts.

[qanda]

23. Her loss!

Sometimes we are spared the pain of meeting certain people.

[LiviaOlivia]

24. kick

[Pushed To The Left]

25. You're better off!

This actually worked to your advantage. If you had been "established" in her eyes, you may have ended up in a relationship with a very shallow, closed-minded woman!

[Renew Deal]

26. Screw her

Not literally. You don't need her and her establishment.

[Name removed]

27. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[RagingInMiami]

28. That's the kind of girl that would end up leaving you if you lose your job

Even if you had been "established", so fuck her.

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

29. AWww

:hugs:

hang in there!

[XNASA]

30. Great. Does this mean you're still available?

;-)

[AlCzervik]

31. think about this way, you already know she won't be there

for you when times are hard. Blah on her, she's sounds about as deep as a bird bath.

[Deja Q]

32. Eminently shallow, I'm afraid. Our so-called 'culture' prefers status and

money over people.

Be the example of a human, not a status symbol. (I'd go out with you except I'm not a female...)

[JanMichael]

33. Congratulations!!!

There is something about you that turns off the jerks in the world! How cool is THAT?

[Mitt Chovick]

34. Suck it up and get back out there

There is no reason to think you got to be celibate until you have money.

I have a friend who seems to always be out of work and always has the women chasing after him. Do you want to know why? I'll tell you why. It is all attitude. Carry your self tall. Be confident. Be a little cocky.

Make sure they know you like yourself. If you don't like you, no one else will. So suck it up. Be a man and chase some tail.

Also be sure not to be needy when you get a girl's attention.

[Freebird12004]

35. it happens to all of us

~but remember~ the right person will care more about "what's in your heart than what's in your wallet" :hug:

[HEAVYHEART]

36. Fuck her! Shallow bitch!

:grr:

[CanuckAmok]

37. Dude, "Back in College"?

It's single-chick ground zero at college... hang in there, and you'll meet a few more who have a more sensible outlook on dating.

[Schema Thing]

38. At least she didn't just use you for your good looks!

Hey, shallowness comes in some rather complex shades. ;-)

[SarahB]

39. Shallow indeed.

Far too often, society makes the only measure of the worth of a man a fiscal or status one. There's plenty of us out there in our 30's (and a little older) who have otherwise gone through the ringer in life and are starting over again one way or another- career, relationships, or both. People need to look at people for who they are as a whole, not this stuff. She's probably one of those 30-something women with the loud biological ticking clock looking for "daddy material" ASAP and that's pretty much it.

Too bad for her though as she passed up a decent guy because of it. You're an intelligent man and I'm sure things will get better for you down the road and one good thing about this time in your life is that if/when you do hook up with a woman for a relationship, you'll know she's with you because she likes you for you, not for you status or your stuff. Whatever does happen will be something more genuine. :)

[HEyHEY]

40. Man, you're such a loser

:-)

DOn't sweat it...you're an older guy who's gonna be in COLLEGE.

Gothis' going to TUna town!

[IronLionZion]

41. You're better off without her

This is her loss

[mitchum]

42. And what makes her such a goddamn prize?

There's PLENTY more ----- out there, my friend

[apple_ridge]

43. The sad fact is that rich men are much more desirable

than us poor men.

[Midlodemocrat]

44. If I weren't married

...I would date you!! She is a jerk for passing up a great opportunity. Apparently, she never heard the phrase 'for richer, for poorer'.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

45. She's shallow--the posters above are right

She's still into the "boyfriend as status symbol" mode of thinking.

Move on.