Hiding the body.

[asthmaticeog]

Suppose you've killed someone in a moment of uncontrolled anger, and now you've got some cleaning up to do. What's your plan? What mistakes are going to lead the authorities straight to you, and how would you cover your tracks while eliminating physical evidence, including your unfortunate victim?

I hasten to stress that this is purely hypothetical and merely intended to generate a lively and hopefully entertaining discussion. I am in no way in any real need of advice on this subject. I promise, I haven't killed anyone.

[Kire]

1. you first

The police are going to learn all of my clues if I post it here.

[EstimatedProphet]

2. One word: woodchipper

The only tool you'll ever need...:)

[DS1]

4. Not exactly, the police found out the murderer of a woman

even after he had parked a truck-towed tree-sized woodchipper on a desolate bridge one night and woodchipped the body into the river below.

A single fingernail busted him. What were the odds on that one? :scared:

[asthmaticeog]

5. On the other hand, free chum!

[EstimatedProphet]

7. Probably pretty good.

I was making an asinine joke about Fargo...probably didn't explain it very well...

[DS1]

8. I know what movie you were talking about

I was just sayin, I'm sure that dude had the shock of his life when the cuffs were clicked on

[Reverend_Smitty]

3. Yeah like I'd tell you where I hid the bod...

oops I've said too much

[Orsino]

6. You *don't* ask for help...

...on a public forum!

Don't be embarrased; it's a common n00bie mistake. But good luck with that.



:-)

[fortyfeetunder]

9. Better be bloodless.

Need to clean up all the victim's nasty little red blood cells (RBC)lying around. The cops have a special UV sensitive dye that can pick up traces of RBCs. Unless you have something that can destroy all the blood resulting from your incident, you are screwed anyway. I think Oxyclean (a peroxide) might be able to destroy RBCs but it's not that effective.

[sparky_in_ma]

10. Concrete

Nobody is going to dig up your new local mall. Not that you'd ever do something like that.:scared:

[LisaL]

11. Is there anything you really want to tell us?

[vixengrl]

12. Well, the first and biggest mistake is killing someone

in a moment of anger--awful, never do it. You're not in control of the location or timing. The act of killing right then and there has probably set off a chain making it very likely you'll get caught. But if it should happen--(hypothetically speaking, of course--I've written some stories involving the subject).

Step one, assess your surroundings. Take note of any forensic evidence you may be leaving about. Is this your home? The victim's home? An outdoor area, such as the parking lot of a shit-kicking country bar in South Jersey at 4am?

Step two, consider what you may need to remove the body. Or even if you need to. Depending upon how you killed the person, it may easily look like an accident or a suicide, or even a random act of violence caused by someone other than yourself--but since it wasn't premeditated, you probably aren't so lucky. Hopefully, you've killed someone portable enough to manuever about. If you must dump a body, you would be amazed at how heavy dead ones get.

Sad to say, here is where most people just aren't equipped to deal with the demands of post-mortem clean-up. First of all, you'll need a good, large knife, some knowledge of butchery, and many trashbags. Oh yes--and a whole lot of time. Properly breaking down a human body into easily moveable and not-suspicious bits takes time, and skill. You may also need *accomplices*. Family members are fine, friends who owe you are better.

And soap and water! You must not be covered in blood spatter or blowback, very bad. Burn your clothes if you must.

Step four, location, location, location. You want to dispose of the body where it won't be discovered right away. It's good to be near a landfill, or a big old forest, or a large body of water. The Delaware River is good.


Step five, your story. You want deniability. You don't want to make your story too detailed--you know, in the old "Colombo" episodes, it was always the *details* that got the murderer hung.

[crispini]

15. vixengrl, you're scaring me here! nt

[vixengrl]

16. I'm not really scary--I just watch too much t.v.

:hi:

[NNadir]

13. I make it look like one of the Bush's committed the crime.

Immediately the government steps in and erases it.

Question: Is this a rhetorical question? I certainly hope so.

[Historic NY]

14. Well whatever you do don't make a to do list...it always gets found.n/t