The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles

[McKenzie]

eg, "You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly"...

http://www.ariel.com.au/jokes/The_Best_of_the_Worst_Country-Western_Song_Titles.html

[Archae]

1. This one cracked me up.

"My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus" :D

[Left Is Write]

2. "I'm Gonna Hire A Wino To Decorate Our Home"

[Debi]

6. Okay, I love that song!

Catchy tune and all that!

[motely36]

3. Drop Kick Me Jesus, Through the Goal Post of Life

[Left Is Write]

5. Arrrgh! I missed it by *that* much.

;)

[Left Is Write]

4. "Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goal Posts Of Life"

[motely36]

9. funny, at first I thought your response was a joke

:D

[spanone]

7. 'Flushed from the bathroom of your heart'

[TheMightyFavog]

21. The song....

From the backdoor of your life you swept me out dear
In the bread line of your dreams I lost my place
At the table of your love I got the brush off
At the Indianapolis of your heart I lost the race

I’ve been washed down the sink of your conscience
In the theater of your love I lost my part
And now you say you’ve got me out of your conscience
I’ve been flushed from the bathroom of your heart

In the garbage disposal of you dreams I’ve been ground up dear
On the river of your plans I’m up the creek
Up the elevator of your future I’ve been shafted
On the calendar of your events I’m last week

I’ve been washed down the sink of your conscience
In the theater of your love I lost my part
And now you say you’ve got me out of your conscience
I’ve been flushed from the bathroom of your heart

[KitchenWitch]

8. Plastic Jesus

I don't care if it rains of freezes
'Long as I got my Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car.

Through my trials and tribulations
And my travels through the nations
With my Plastic Jesus I'll go far.
Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car

I'm afraid He'll have to go.
His magnets ruin my radio
And if I have a wreck He'll leave a scar.
Riding down a thoroughfare
With His nose up in the air,
A wreck may be ahead, but He don't mind.

Trouble coming He don't see,
He just keeps His eye on me
And any other thing that lies behind.
Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car ...

Though the sunshine on His back
Make Him peel, chip and crack,
A little patching keeps Him up to par.
When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say "damn"
I can let all my curses roll

Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
'Cause he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul.
Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car ...

Once His robe was snowy white,
Now it isn't quite so bright -
Stained by the smoke of my cigar.
If I weave around at night,
And policemen think I'm tight,
They never find my bottle - though they ask.

Plastic Jesus shelters me,
For His head comes off, you see
He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask.
Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus,

Riding on the dashboard of my car ...
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb -
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar.

[EstimatedProphet]

10. "What part of no don't you understand"

Yes, that actually is a song. Only in country music are you allowed to write entire songs stolen from 15-minute-famous catchphrases.

[solinvictus]

12. Apparently...

you've never heard the old rap song "Whoop! There it is!". Same principle.

[EstimatedProphet]

17. Yup

That's another one. Have they come up with a song called "Bling bling" yet?

[Left Is Write]

13. Actually, it's just called "What Part Of No"

Good old Lorrie Morgan. I wish I had a nickel for every time that stupid song was requested on my radio show.

[Left Is Write]

11. "I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lyin On My Back In My Bed Cryin' Over You"

[Sporadicus]

14. Thank God & Greyhound She's Gone' n/t

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

15. She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy

I don't know who sings it... but I think it's the dumbest country song title, and just slightly weird.

[Tom_Foolery]

18. Kenny Chesney sings that one. n/t

[SheilaT]

16. "Have another Tequila, Sheila"

Couldn't find the lyrics in a google search, but it's this hilarious song about jealousy and getting trapped in a bar and the Sheila in the title isn't going to get out alive, so that's why she's being given more tequila.

[greatauntoftriplets]

20. And here it is!

Did you know that Shel Silverstein wrote it?

Pour Me Another Tequila, Sheila

(Chorus)
Pour me another tequila, Sheila.
Take off that red satin dress.
'Cause I crossed the border,
And I beat the dealer for all of that gold in Juarez.
I feel like ol' Pancho Villa, Sheila,
And I've got the pesos to spend,
So pour me another tequila, Sheila.
And lay down and love me again.

No I can't tell you about it.
Don't mind the gun by my bed,
But I feel kind'a naked without it,
And it eases the fears in my head.
I never trusted in woman,
But Sheila I trust you tonight.
So pass me the salt and a lemon,
Bend down and blow out the light.

(Chorus)

Sheila I'm hearin' your heartbeat,
But I'm hearing footsteps outside.
The courtyard is crawlin' with them Federales
And Sheila, there's no place to hide,
but I don't know who could have tipped 'em,
nobody knew it but you,
but I never have trusted in woman,
Sheila, here's what I'm going to do.

(Chorus)

Yeah! Pour me another tequila,
I'm gonna put on your red satin Dress.
You put on my clothes, and you go face the dealer.
Sheila I wish you the best.
I never trusted in woman,
Sheila I trusted you tonight.
So pour me another tequila Sheila,
And I'll run for the border again.
Yeah! Pour me another tequila,
Sheila, as I ride for the border again.

[SheilaT]

22. Thank you, thank you

fellow Sheila!

[TNDemo]

19. Don't Cry On My Shoulder When I Hold You Baby, You'll Rust My Spurs.

[NeoTraitors]

23. She Got the Goldmine

(I got the shaft)