I'm Richard Nixon. Ask me anything.

[ZombieNixon]

[GRLMGC]

1. Why did I go through a phase where I was

obsessed w/ you?

[ZombieNixon]

3. I control your mind.

[GRLMGC]

6. Makes sense nt

[ZombieNixon]

7. That whole MK ULTRA thing.

We finally perfected it down here in Hell.

[elperromagico]

2. Who gets the top bunk, you or Hitler?

[ZombieNixon]

4. Agnew.

[brainshrub]

5. What do you think of Bush?

[ZombieNixon]

8. Hey, I know all about getting stuck in unwinnable wars,

so he's doing a fine job.

[Lenape85]

9. I thought you said you praised Kerry

[ZombieNixon]

11. Yeah, I praised him publicly, but if you see the transcripts of the tapes,

I said "Get rid of this guy before he becomes another Ralph Nader." What you say and what you do are often completely different, as George well knows. I think he goes a little wacko with the religious right, but when it comes to secrets and lies, well, I think I've met my match.

[Lenape85]

13. Mr. Nixon, weren't you a Quaker once

[ZombieNixon]

18. Still am, son.

Religion helps win elections.

[Lenape85]

29. But, Quakers are anti-war

[ZombieNixon]

30. Hey, I went to a Quaker College! What more do you want?!

Appearances. It's all about appearences. Besides, it wasn't a war. It was a police action. The Friends say nothing about police actions.

[Liberal In Texas]

10. ...So, are you a crook?

What about that coat of Pat's?

Did the paintings in the WH ever talk back?

What on earth were you thinking when you made those tapes?

[ZombieNixon]

15. I'm not a crook.

What coat?...I never saw any coat.

The paintings only talk back when you're drunk...not that I would know anything about that.

The tapes...well, you see, we moved in in a hurry and we could never figure out how to undo the wiring. I was never the type for all that electronic liberal hippie bullshit, that was always Agnew's department, so the tapes started recording at inopportune moments, and before you know it, there were Woodward and Bernstein...damn them. No, the real story is, I knew everyone hated me, so I just wanted to be remembered for something other than that guy who got bullied into making the EPA by Rachel Carson. You see, the whole Watergate thing was just a setup to get me some spot in history.

[Aristus]

12. What was with the suit and black oxfords on the BEACH, fer

Pete's sake, dude? :shrug:

[ZombieNixon]

17. Hey, how would you like to be shown

all flabby and pasty skinned in the national media?

[Aristus]

20. You were flabby and pasty skinned fully dressed, man.

Stripping off for some fun, sun 'n' surf wouldn't have harmed anything. But that photo, man. How did they airbrush the stick up your butt? :shrug: B-)

[ZombieNixon]

26. Airbrush?

It was really there, son.

[Spider Jerusalem]

14. What was on that eighteen minutes of erased tape, anyway?

[ZombieNixon]

16. That's not for you to know...

but it had nothing to do with a certain break-in at a certain hotel in a certain city in a certain year during a certain election campiagn.

[Spider Jerusalem]

19. Were you and Billy Graham sharing more anti-Semitic comments, then?

[ZombieNixon]

24. "...you see, Billy, the Jews want to legalize pot,

because their all psychiatrists. And what about all those homosexuals; they're all out in Northern California. It was the Greeks that started it. The homosexual Greeks. Er...Billy, are you a Jewish homosexual?"

"No, Dick. Of course not."

"Oh, good."

Stuff like that. Oh, shit, I shouldn't have told you that.

[T Town Jake]

21. Fess up: who was Deep Throat?

(n/t)

[ZombieNixon]

25. Hell if I know.

Woodward and Bernstein made the whole thing up along with the hippies in Congress. It's a vast left-wing conspiracy, I tell you!

[proud2BlibKansan]

22. Was my dad on one of your subversive lists?

He was a Democrat, he subscribed to some liberal magazines like Newsweek and he didn't like you.

[ZombieNixon]

27. Probably. Everyone was, you know.

Bunch of drugged out Communists.

[proud2BlibKansan]

33. My daddy didn't do no drugs

but he liked to drink beer - while reading his Newsweek and cussing at you.

[ZombieNixon]

35. Beer?

He drank beer? Then of course he was on the list! How could he drink beer?! Didn't he know we were at war?!...uhh...I mean...involved in a perfectly legal police action?!

[sasquatch]

23. Can we have you as president again?

Or your dog Checkers?

[ZombieNixon]

28. Sure, we'll be right there.

[Midnight Rambler]

31. What did you talk about on those missing tapes?

[ZombieNixon]

36. See post #16

That's not for you to know...

[LSdemocrat]

32. Are the Kennedys still thwarting you in the afterlife?

[ZombieNixon]

37. Thwarting me...of course

I wanted this hellish maelstrom of fire and brimstone fixed...fixed like Kennedy fixed the 1960 election. Damn bean-eating war hero! Of course they're thwarting me. Just 'cause they save the cosmos is the process is no reason why they should get to romp around heaven!

[hfojvt]

34. Does it bother you that when you were forced to resign

you proved to any 12 year old boy who was naive enough to believe in you that you were a liar and a crook?
Second question:
Why don't you go (expletive deleted) yourself?

[ZombieNixon]

38. Ohh [expletive deleted]! You've got a deal.

That whole resignation flap just guaranteed me a place in the history books. Granted, I'm forever known as the guy who got caught, but I'm still there. Who cares about the 12-year-olds when you get your own three sentences in the 11th grade US History text!

[ronnykmarshall]

39. Why did you pick Agnew?

Did you have some deal with him?

[ZombieNixon]

40. He had a funny name and I felt sorry for him.