George Soros and Martha Stewart charged with oil for food scandal!

[last1standing]

AP....

<snip>
Attorney General John Ashcroft announced today that indictments had been issued for both George Soros and Martha Stewart on charges relating to the oil for food scandal. The charges were a shock for many as neither Soros nor Stewart had been previously mentioned in any investigations.

<snip>
Ashcroft, however, pointed to pictures including the one below that he claims proves that Soros was in Iraq at the time of the crime.



<snip>
Soon after this photo was released a few unreliable web logs (blogs) tried to claim the picture was a shot of a face on Mars, but they were quickly discounted when they could not provide proof that it could not be a severely unfocused picture of Soros. Attorney General Ashcroft said that the owners of these blogs would be detained for questioning.

While no pictures of Stewart were released at this time, Attorney General Ashcroft insisted photos did exist and would be presented as evidence in court. No trial date was given, but according to Ashcroft, "The Lord <has> told me that the bit<ter accused> is guilty. Why do you want a f<ormal> trial?"

<snip>
Some foreign news outlets are using these indictments to criticize President George Bush by claiming that Soros and Stewart have been charged do to their well known support of Democratic candidates, including Sen. John Kerry who lost the presidential election to Bush in a landslide. President Bush, aiming to quell these charges, quickly called a press conference today. Said Bush, "heheh.....I don't know nothin' 'bout these here charges. I'm just tryin' ta unite all like minded Amurikans to win freedom for Iran. oops, I mean Iraq! Carl, can I have a do-over? Honest, folks, we're not invadin' Iran or nothin'."

While comment was requested from both Soros' and Stewart's spokeperson's and family, none was provided as no one could be found.
<end>

[last1standing]

1. kick

Just because I thought it was funny. :)