What are the dumbest things anyone ever said to you.

[cags]

You know those things that leave you speechless.

Driver said (i'm the passenger)while reading the sign
"What does protected left turn on green mean"

Mom-in-law who is a nurse
"Women have one less rib than men"

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

1. "George W. Bush is the second coming of Christ!"

actual quote from a person yelling at us while we protested going to war back in the winter of '93.

[Taxloss]

36. In '93?

DOn't you mean '03?

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

74. yes

when you have the flu, you don't always type correctly.

[Fleshdancer]

2. "What is a Galileo?" I'm not kidding. n/t

[arcane1]

3. my friend said that newspapers get their news from TV news

thus TV news is the preferred source :crazy:

[dolo amber]

4. California state worker in SS card reissue dept:

Her: "What county were you born in?"

Me: "San Diego"

Her: "California?"

Me: "........"

[Bouncy Ball]

5. When I was eight months pregnant

my wedding ring didn't fit anymore. I was 23, but looked about 16. An elderly lady came up to me in the grocery store lecturing me about how she CERTAINLY hopes I'm going to give up my baby for adoption, because a child deserves a mother AND a father.

I said "My baby has a father!"

She said, "Well, it deserves to grow up with one around. And YOU should finish school."

I looked at her and said "Just how old do you think I am? I'm a HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER. I'm 23 and a college graduate. I'm married."

She was so damn embarrassed. She sort of slinked away.

[ronnykmarshall]

11. That's too funny.

I'd like to see the look on ol' Mrs. Snoopynose's face.

[Bouncy Ball]

14. This happened when I was living in Georgia.

Are you surprised?

(Sorry Georgians. Not a bash on you, but seriously.....I met the nosiest people ever when I lived there....)

[barb162]

44. the GALL of that person

[Biased Liberal Media]

65. Some people seriously have a lot of balls. Once when I was feeding my

daughter (a bottle of formula), some elderly lady came up to me and said "you know, you really ought to try to breastfeed, it's better than formula". I looked at her and said nothing. I was so upset and near tears by then (I had failed in the breastfeeding department and it was something I was extremely sensitive to). People shouldn't ASSume because it makes them look like jackasses.

Balls, big brass ones I tell you.

[Left Is Write]

69. How did she know -

you weren't feeding her expressed breastmilk?

For that matter, you could have had an illness incompatible with breastfeeding. You could have had breast cancer. You could have been taking a medicine that precluded breastfeeding.

Maybe the baby was adopted. Maybe the baby was on a prescription formula due to medical issues.

People like that DO NOT do anything positive as far as breastfeeding advocacy. All they do is turn people off.

[readmylips]

6. Can you read?

A woman came to my door, gave me a flier and asked me 'can you read?' I said no, but I can kick your azz. She ran to her car like lighting.

[LostInAnomie]

7. What did Sri Lanka do for us after 9-11?

Said by my supervisor when discussing how much aid the US should give to Tsunami victims.

[ThoughtCriminal]

24. I can't believe how many times I read this one

In various discussion groups and blogs. Either claiming they didn't contribute after 9/11 or more often, the Florida Hurricanes. It's like asking what Tiny Tim made for Christmas dinner.

No disrespect for folks in Florida who had to endure hardship, but for the most part, comparing a guy who had to wait a few months for the insurance check for roof repairs to the massive losses in Asia is just really sick.

FWIW - I don't have a link or the numbers, but after large natural disasters in the USA, I have read that the foreign embassies of 3rd world countries (even countries like Bangladesh) DO make humanitarian contributions. The amounts are not large, but more than most individuals would make. People never take into consideration that there are always far more urgent humanitarian crisis at home for these countries.

[LostInAnomie]

25. My response was...

... what the hell are they supposed to contribute? Are they supposed to provide their building expertise and build shanties out of the rubble for the victims families? The majority of the country lives on less than $2 a day.

[yardwork]

40. I've read that, per capita, poorer people contribute more to charity

I've noticed that, actually. When somebody is in need, poor people dig deep and give more than they can afford.

[tjdee]

32. A freeper said something like that for after Florida's hurricanes.

DUHHHHHHHH

[Biased Liberal Media]

62. LOL I should have read your post before responding but I did give

a little bit of info on that one. Still, truly unbelievable, huh??

Disgusting.

[Biased Liberal Media]

60. I have a worse one. WHere was Sri Lanka when Florida had 4 hurricanes?

Written into Scarborough County on MSNBC by some jackass in Wisconsin. My jaw literally dropped.

Oh yeah, that's compassionate conservatism for ya.

[Bouncy Ball]

8. Another time I went to a fast food place to get stuff for lunch

for most of my office. I was reading off the orders from a piece of paper. It was like 9 combo meals.

The guy said "Will that be for here or to go?"

Pause. "Um, I'll eat all that HERE."

He pressed the here button and I said "I was kidding! I ordered about 9 meals! I'm by myself, I can't eat all that! It's to go."

[driver8]

42. That happens all the time to me!

I'll be picking something up for my family -- two chicken dinners, a bean and cheese burrito, a quesadilla and some guacamole...

"Is that for here or to go?"

[sleepyhead]

64. Me too.

Once I was in KFC and ordered a couple of large buckets of chicken (20 pieces each, I think) for an office party and the dumbass behind the counter asked if that was for here or to go. I was in line all by myself at the time.

[Tweed]

68. Hey, this is America people

People do dumb things and eat like fucking pigs.

[qnr]

9. "It was in the last place I looked for it." Um... yeah. Oldie but goodie

[Downtown Hound]

10. A friend of a friend's girlfriend comes out to visit California

and we're driving along the coast.

Her-"My the ocean is so pretty here. Now what ocean is that?"

:crazy:

[barb162]

47. so did you tell her it was the Arctic?

[Downtown Hound]

53. Heh, heh, I was too busy trying not to laugh

I really didn't want to offend her or my friend's friend. So I didn't answer, her boyfriend did. But you could feel the temperature in the car drop about ten degrees when she asked it.

[barb162]

56. well, I can imagine. But when a person is THAT dumb or unschooled

and says something so off the wall....

[Bouncy Ball]

12. I also think it's dumb

when you are in the bathroom (as in, using the bathroom) and someone asks you what you are doing.

I always like to say "Oh, I'm negotiating world peace."

[qnr]

17. Yeah. I hate that - you're behind a closed door, so you have to

yell, and naturally, the window is open, so the neighbors all hear it before the questioner finally does.

[Bouncy Ball]

18. What's REALLY bad is when someone asks

you that question who can SEE that you are on the toilet (as in your partner).

"Hey watcha doin'?"

Uhhhhhh........

[Left Is Write]

71. That reminds me of a radio story. Well, sort of radio story.

During my radio career, I was at a nightclub one evening with a couple of friends, having a few drinks and enjoying myself. At one point, while on my way to the restroom, I found myself being followed by a gaggle of girls who recognized me. I heard them talking behind me as I entered the bathroom. ("Is that Cathy ----- ?" "Yes, I think that's her!")

I locked myself in a stall. No sooner had I done so when someone banged on the door. "Are you Cathy ----- from ---- radio station? Say something RADIO!"

I said, "You're listening to ---- radio, Stevens Point/Wausau. I'm Cathy ----, AND I'M TRYING TO GO PEE HERE!"

[5thGenDemocrat]

13. A guy said this to me while I was in the Army

"I don't have anything against you regular Catholics, just them ROMAN Catholics."
John
Swear to Zeus -- you can't make this stuff up, folks.

[Bouncy Ball]

15. BWA!!!!

[MisterP]

57. Maronites and other Eastern Rites ok?

[Menshevik]

16. "I didn't know you spoke French!"

when I told a friend I was moving to England.

:eyes:

[Bouncy Ball]

19. Now for something stupid **I** said once

Please don't throw things at me, but in my lovely school district you could take World History OR World Geography. I chose World History (and loved it).

But....I....never really looked at maps too closely.

So as a SOPHOMORE in college, and an English major, I raised my hand in class one day and asked the professor why all these British authors always refer to "the continent."

He said, "Well, continental Europe."

I must have still looked confused, because he said "Since Europe is separate."

Another student said "You know, because England is an island."

I ACTUALLY LAUGHED and said "Yeah, RIGHT! England isn't an ISLAND!!!"

Dear me. The professor didn't even think I was serious at first.

I don't think I looked up for the rest of that class and I sat in the back from then on. I know now. It's separate.

(It also explained the whole English Channel thing. I went back to my apartment and started looking at maps more closely.)

[Karenina]

75. I live on the Continent

and was asked by a Fundie relative (well-paid bigwig in IT), "Do they have Christian churches there?" I asked her if she'd ever heard of J.S.Bach.

She retorted, "OF COURSE!"

"Pray tell, WHAT do you think he was doing?" :crazy:

[Minimus]

20. From my younger bar hopping days...

I had a friend with the exact same first name as me and we would go out together. One night at a bar a guy came over to talk to us, buy us a drink, and asked our names. When we told him our names, he said "Are you twins?"

My answer was much nicer but I was thinking: Yes you idiot, we are twins that look absolutely nothing alike, with really unimaginative parents that could only think of one name.

[cags]

22. That is too funny

[Thor_MN]

39. I hate to say it, but that's a classic pick up line

Pick any similarity between two women you are trying to chat up and ask if they are twins...

Notice that I didn't say classy...

[Minimus]

54. But having the same first name makes you twins?

The guy was really trying, huh?

[ronnykmarshall]

21. How can I be overdrawn ?

I still have checks!

[Lone_Star_Dem]

23. My neighbor had a water line break in her house.

I saw her sweeping water out the door and went to help. The first thing I asked was if she'd cut the water off, she replied, "do you think I should?"

[Maccagirl]

26. "Have you always been this short?"

I'm 4'11" and someone at work actually said that to me once. In a rare moment of lucidness I answered "No, I used to be 5'10", but I went to a Who concert and haven't been the same since.".

[vixengrl]

29. I like that response--sharp!

:evilgrin:

[XNASA]

27. "I bought another LeCar because I know what will go wrong with it."

Said a friend to me after purchasing his second Renault LeCar after having nothing but problems with the first one.

[nytemare]

79. Did the friend vote for Bush again??

:)

[vixengrl]

28. I was helping someone over the phone

with their taxes (it's what I do) and I told them to go to page twelve (the pages are numbered).

"Where's that?"

"Um...in the book...in front of you...after eleven..."

"No I don't see it, this one says thirteen."

"Ma'am, the pages are consecutively numbered for your convenience."

"Oh here it is. It was on the *back* of eleven."


This is not a particularly rare type of conversation for me, either.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

37. I've done phone support for an ISP

I feel your pain. :7

[yardwork]

45. I can't even begin to imagine how you get them to produce numeric info

I write for people based on info they send me over the phone.

Why do we do this? Oh yeah. There's a market because most people won't!

[barb162]

50. makes you wonder how they drive, walk down the street, etc

[cags]

30. I took my truck in for a recall, I took the cable box out of the back seat

and waited in the lobby for my ride home.

Some guy said

"Do you always carry your cablebox with you?

I said "Yeah, I just love it, its so pretty"

Dumbass

[WilliamPitt]

31. "Yes, I will marry you"

*smash destroy fuck up life annihilate*

[Left Is Write]

33. When I was pregnant with my first, as an unmarried woman:

"Are you going to go on welfare?" (Yes. I'm going to quit my well-paying job with benefits at a good company so that I can go on welfare. ???)

Also during that pregnancy, upon meeting a former co-worker at church:

She, seeing my 8-month pregnant belly: I didn't know you had gotten married.

Me: I didn't.

She, sneering: Oh. Well, since you're having a bastard, I'm afraid I can't offer you congratulations.


And the doozy question during that pregnancy, froma neighbor of my mother's:

She: Do you know who the father is? (Gee, lady, I suspect it's the fellow with whom I've been living for two years.)

[driver8]

46. My God people are rude!! n/t

[yardwork]

48. I thought the term "bastard" went out in the 18th century - wait.

I'll bet they voted for shrub, right?

[Left Is Write]

67. I have no idea. This was all eighteen years ago.

But I wouldn't be surprised.

[Ekirh]

34. Working at a Boys and Girls Club

One of the 12 or 13 year olds asked "The Fourth of the July is always on the fourth right?"

[nytemare]

80. They probably couldn't tell you when Independence Day is.

LOL.

[Solly Mack]

35. During Hale Bopp: "Is it happening there in your sky too?"

in a chatroom from some idiot who lived 7 states away from at the time. I shit you not.

[koneko]

38. When I lived in Japan

friends back here in the USA asked some of the strangest things. Most of the time, I didn't mind, as they stemmed from a natural curiosity to know about the Far East, and because they knew I wouldn't laugh at them (to their faces, anyway).

By far, the funniest things came from two different college chums.
The first asked how close I was to Singapore. The second asked if I walked the Great Wall for fun. The thing is, each of these people thought that Singapore AND the Great Wall were in Japan.

I. just. didn't. know. what. to. say.

Again, it's better you ask than continue to be ignorant.

[achtung_circus]

41. By the Iowan numbnuts whose daughter married my brother-in-law

Do you have Chinese restaurants in Canada?

[barb162]

43. lots of lines, especially when I was younger

when are you going to have a baby, when are you going to get married. I hated those intrusive questions.

[driver8]

49. A friend tried to call me and my answering machine was off...

...so the phone kept ringing and ringing. When he finally got me later he said to me:
"I tried to call you earlier but the phone kept ringing and ringing...what does that mean?"

I replied, "Uhm...no one was home??"

He looked at me with this blank expression on his face until the light bulb finally went on...
"Oh, right...I forgot."

[TroubleMan]

51. "How did they know what size our TV is?"

This was said after seeing the "This movie has been reformatted to fit your screen" at the beginning of a movie in fullscreen mode.

[progmom]

52. Ok, I will admit it

I don't know what protected left turn on green means. Is that a regional thing? Does that mean you get to turn left when you have a green arrow?

:hangover:

[cags]

55. Do you drive? Yeah you get to turn left on a green arrow

I assume this sign is everywhere

[barb162]

58. never saw this sign in IL

[progmom]

61. I do drive.

And I have never seen that sign in Michigan.

[achtung_circus]

77. I've never seen that

here it's "Advanced Green When Flashing".

[bettyellen]

59. "Eh, why don't we just get married already?"

yeah, this is what every woman dreams of hearing from someone she's known a week.... jeeze if I didn't pretend to be asleep, I woulda had some real smartass answers for him.

[BikeWriter]

63. The dumbest thing? "I love George Bush." n/t

[The Sad Little Pony]

66. "which one is the state...."

"....Philadelphia or Pennsylvania?"

I'm not kidding.
An adult said this.
I was on a date with it, too.
Kind of a turn off...

[Tweed]

70. John Edwards can lead this country

Dumb beyond belief.

[MLE]

72. "I SWEAR Ben Franklin was a president!"

One of the my classmate in our requires social studies class last year. He was looking at a poster of all the past presidents and asked me where Benjamin Franklin was. I preceded to tell him that Ben Franklin was never a president. It took him a while to believe this.
He SWORE to me that he KNEW he was.:wow:

Might I add that he was also one of the biggest B*sh supporters in school this year. But that's to be expected!!!;-)

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

73. "...and that's why my uterus is around my knees now!"

Okay, so I was working on a show last spring. I'm carrying a big wooden box outside to spraypaint black. The director was not only insane, but morbidly obese.

I'm 5'1" and about 100lbs. She was my height, but well, much larger than me. The box I was carrying was really big & heavy, but I'm a "glorified stockboy" at my non-theatre job so I lift more than half my weight regularly. It's all good. She sees me doing this and she goes, "You better be careful. I was just like you at your age. Running up & down ladders, carrying equipment, etc and that's why my uterus is around my knees now!" I had a major "what the fuck?!?!" moment that was shared with the other coworkers outside with me.

She later tried to explain that women were delicate and that because she didn't realize her delicate nature in her younger years, she was now obese. Nearly a year later, I'm still confused.

[Dr Batsen D Belfry]

76. Quite a few goodies here

1) At Applebee's, my friend and I were the first patrons there after opening. Not another customer was even on the same block.

Hostess: Would you like smoking, non-smoking, or first available?
Friend: What's the wait for first available?

2) After ordering only 4 milk shakes at the McDonalds drive-thru, the McAutoPilot asked us if we needed any ketchup or salt with our order

3) On a late season rafting trip, two 15 year old girls were the hit of the trip.

Q: Does the river run in a circle?
Guide: Yes. We place pumps every mile to keep the water moving

Q: Why is the water so low?
Guide: It was much higher last week, but people were getting hurt so our insurance company asked us to drain some of the water out to make it safer.

Q: Did you tell the owner there were too many rocks in the river?
Me: Yes, and he agreed. He said the guys who delivered the rocks last week left too many, so they are coming out Tuesday to pick up the extras.

DBDB

[nytemare]

78. "How much protein is in the cheesesticks?"

From a freeper type co-worker. She asked this after I informed her that the cheesesticks had 30 grams of fat.

So, that explains the vote for Bush, after all he has done wrong.