Help with a BF who's started to parrot RW radio

[lcdnumber6]

Hi, I'm a lurker and don't usually post, but I've got a situation that's been burning on my mind. My BF and I got into a HUGE row the other nite re: comparing Iraq to WWII. He would not stop talking about how great it is that the "nation building" in Iraq is going so fast as compared to Japan and Germany post-WWII. I kept asking him to give me the rationale for comparing what happened in WWII to what's going on in Iraq. His only response was, "you're so narrow-minded". I kept prodding him - in retrospect I shoulda shut the argument down, but god! - and he kept saying I was too narrow-minded. At any rate, it ended horribly and we're not talking to each other.

Earlier in the night, I told him I started to listen to Air America, and then he told me how he was starting to listen to Medved and Savage, "to get the other side", which took me by surprise, cuz he seemed to think they were more rational.

So, I don't know what to do. Not talk about politics? He voted for Kerry and Gregoire, and I'm definitely more left-wing than him. But do moderates listen to RW radio?!

I'm going to bed soon (maybe), but any feedback on dealing with an SO with similar proclivities would be really helpful. I was just so sad that his only debate tactics were derived from those he heard on that radio station. Should I reflect upon my own liberal biases? ugh. Help! Merci mes amis!

[WindRavenX]

1. has he seen F 9/11?

[lcdnumber6]

2. nope

he reads my Harper's and Mother Jones, tho!
and he doesn't throw the magazines across the room, saying they're "narrow minded".... :shrug:

[NoodleBoy]

3. try saying "am I a narrow-minded or wrong?"

keep trying to make him prove it, too, and remind him that him calling you narrow-minded does not prove Iraq = WW2.

[lcdnumber6]

7. well, I'm trying to figure out if proving he's wrong is worth it.

for the sake of a relationship....we're both stubborn SOB's. but i *know* his thought process on this is soooooooo wrong and illogical, and i don't like him dissing me like that. dunno what to do!

i'm not asleep yet, obviously.

[Book Lover]

4. If he truly wants to get some

"other viewpoints", point his browser to http://www.antiwar.com. They ain't Dems, but they'll help him see the light. Just because the textbooks say that we are a two-party system does not make it so.

[bettyellen]

5. tell him my father would deck his ass for comparing the two....

when my dad shipped off to europe, he did it for the greatest reasons.
no one lied to get him to go.

[lcdnumber6]

9. EXACTLY

I can't imagine anyone comparing the two wars, and I seriously had a physical reaction when he kept trying to compare the two! And he got pissed off when i tried to say, "if you're trying to compare US military actions, please do not use WWII, in which we were attacked by one country and another one declared war on us. THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED IN IRAQ!!!"
Yes, I started to yell, I was so upset!

[GregD]

6. Have him listen to Thom Hartmann

There are archives (link at site) in case he cannot catch the show live. I think Thom is one of the best "independents" on the radio and can make the case for most arguements against the right-wing agenda that I have heard.

www.thomhartmann.com

[NYC]

8. I think you should find a new boyfriend.

Honestly. Why would you want someone capable of being so heartless and uncaring? Find another one.

[lcdnumber6]

11. yeah, that thought has been going thru my mind

because:
a) could i stand to be with a person that shows some tendencies to become a neoconservative in a few months/years?

b) should i stand a person that responds to my honest questions with personal attacks?

still thinking about it.

[NYC]

16. Keep thinking about it.

This goes to the essence of his being. As drastic as it may sound to ditch him, imagine spending years with someone who is or is sinilar to a neocon. It would eat away at you.

[tjwmason]

27. Personal attacks are wrong

I have friends from right across the political spectrum, several vehement supporters of the war among them. I can cope with people that disagree with me by keeping it non-personal. We have been known to have enormous flaming rows, but at base we're still friends and never turn on each other - if he can't keep your political opinions separate from your person then you both may be better off apart.

[ropi]

10. narrow minded..

show him now narrow minded you are when he starts to snuggle up to you. his tune will change right quick! <j/k>

i am sorry to hear that. the r/w attitude must be rubbing off on him--he can read left papers, news, etc...but if you do, you must be silly. now, get back to the kitchen and let your b/f do the thinking! <again, joking>

[lcdnumber6]

13. ha! thanks for the smile.

nt

[ropi]

14. no problem

:hug:

after being told all that by someone you love, a smile is a good thing. here are a few more smiles : :-) :-)

[sffreeways]

12. Had a similar experience

over the holidays with a friend I've known for 15 years. I invited him to come over Christmas and ended up asking him to leave a week early because I couldn't cope with the Savage says this and Savage says that rhetoric among other obnoxious remarks. This man has always been liberal but something has happened to him from listening to that tripe. He was rude and impolite too apparently when you loose your common sense you loose your manners as well.

We haven't spoken since and I'm not sorry. There may be no hope for your BF if he's anything like my former friend.

[ropi]

15. yes, there is hope!

here! at last!

Home Lobotomy Kit

http://www.iamlost.com/features/lab/

[NYC]

18. I'll have to order one of those

just to have on hand. You never know when you'll need one.

[lcdnumber6]

20. thanks NYC

[lcdnumber6]

19. ha! how 'bout good ol' trephination!

i've got some good sharp objects and alcohol swabs! won't hurt a bit, and it fits in my budget!

mmmmm trephination (slobber)

[ropi]

21. LOL!

too funny! *hands you a cotton swab* can i watch?

[lcdnumber6]

17. what do those talk RW show hosts *do* to people?

make them scared?

pander to their intellect, without actually saying anything that requires critical thought?

just teach people to be plain old MEAN when they can't defend their positions?!

ugh. i wish BF would go back to listening to NPR.

[NYC]

22. They frighten them, and

make them feel superior by demeaning other people.

[ropi]

23. sing it with me, ya'll

keep young and beautiful

What's cute about little cutie
It's her beauty, not brains
Old father time will never harm you
If your charm still remains
After you grow old, baby

Keep young and beautiful
It's your duty to be beautiful
Keep young and beautiful
If you want to be loved

If you're wise exercise all the fat off
Take it off, off of here, off of there
When you'er seen anywhere
With you hat off
Wear a marcel wave in your hair

Take care of all those charms
And you'll always be in someone's arms
Keep young and beautiful
If you want to be loved

If you're wise exercise all the fat off
Take it off, off of here, off of there
When you'er seen anywhere
With you hat off
Wear a marcel wave in your hair

Keep young and beautiful
It's your duty to be beautiful
Keep young and beautiful
If you want to be loved

Keep young and beautiful
If you want to be loved
Boopie doo, ah

[Downtown Hound]

24. Two books for him to read:

Al Franken's Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them and Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot. These are perfect for him because he's starting to be sucked in by right wing media and they specifically deal with what a pile of crap it all is. Plus, they're hilarious. If you can get him to read these before they get their hooks too deeply into him, then he has a chance. But trust me, once people start to really believe right wing radio, they will eventually reach a point where they will not accept any other information. They will simply dismiss it as lies of the liberal media elite and other nonsense. It's sounds like he's not too far gone, so have him read these books and open his eyes to the kind garbage he's listening too.


If he refuses to read them, well, tell him no more sex until he does. :evilgrin:

[ropi]

25. refer him over here too...

since you're being so 'illogical'

http://www.lysistrataproject.com/

[cornermouse]

26. Drop him. Now.

You'll be much happier with someone else. Once they start listen to the RW, they're terminal.

[sarcasmo]

28. Deprogram him quick he is almost gone.

RW radio is the #1 brain washing tool of the Repukes. I have been trying to deprogram my wife for four years now. Get your BF to stop that RW talk before you have lost him for good.

[jdots]

29. kick him in the nuts and never look back.

you deserve better way better .

[Champ]

30. I can't cure him

those who listen to RW radio won't listen to logic or facts. I could not have a relationship w/ someone who touts RW radio, I just cannot.

[BiggJawn]

31. He's just a boyfriend...

So it will be less expensive to tell him "look, You like Ann Coulter so much, why don't you just go and try to find a girl who walks, talks and will give you boney hip bruises in bed just like her?"

Life's too short.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

32. Ask The Genius

How many American casualties there were in post war Germany and Japan?


How many acts of terrorism there were in post war Germany and Japan?

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

33. Just take your copy of Harper's or Mother Jones

...roll it up tight, and every time he starts to spew garbage, whack him on the nose with it and say "Bad! Bad dittohead!"

I've been in your shoes and found that, no matter what else was good in the relationship, if we didn't share a similar worldview then there just didn't seem to be much point to anything else we shared, or much hope for longterm happiness.

From what you describe, it sounds like he's struggling with something personal, not political. Maybe he's trying to sell himself on becoming part of the "winning team." Or maybe he's asserting control of your relationship. If you're "the liberal one" and he can't one-up you by being more liberal, he'll try to leverage control by being "the conservative one."

There are a lotta liberals and leftists in Washington, so I hear...

[Brewman_Jax]

34. Too many fish in the sea

and you don't need to spend your valued up-close-and-personal time with a RW flag-waving zombie. Get rid of him now before you think you've invested too much time in him.

Life is too short and you don't need the pain.

[lcdnumber6]

35. thanks for everyone's replies

lots of good laughs in here! i love you DU folks. this was the first fight we've had in a year and a half that did not end with "i'm sorry"'s and at least a make-up kiss.

we haven't talked in a few days (sorry if the 1st post made it sound like it *just* happened), we're taking a break. i'm trying to process in my mind/heart what is important to me in life and the people i'm with, i hope he is too. but i think this might be a deal-breaker. i guess i should just tell him that i'm really disturbed he's listening to that stuff. we lost another friend to it, a guy who started out listening to it for "shits and giggles".