I broke my tit.

[Magrittes Pipe]

I was trying to do something nice, all handyman-buildy-like, on Monday. I smashed a big metal pole into my right ribcage, and it hurt, but it went away and I didn't think much of it. Made it through yesterday, a little sore but no worse for wear.

Then last night I woke up from the pain. Been unable to move my right torso without it feeling like I'm being stabbed in the chest. This really sucks.

[RandomKoolzip]

1. You shouldn't have posted anything in the body of the message.

That subject line was a perfect mind-bomb as is.

[Magrittes Pipe]

2. I broke your respiratory system.

I win.

[RandomKoolzip]

4. Not so fast, Chauncey.

I broke three of your chakras....uh,"booyah." I guess.

[Magrittes Pipe]

7. I told you to lay off the zen voodoo, Koolzip.

[RandomKoolzip]

9. Yer right, I'm sorry. Can you still lactate?

[Magrittes Pipe]

11. Only the milk of human violence.

[RandomKoolzip]

13. I can dig. Me, I tore a ball recently.

GALLONS of Ben-Gay, homie!

[Magrittes Pipe]

16. Unfortunately, it was South of the Border Paul's ball...

...that you tore and then dumped gallons of Ben-Gay on.

Which probably explains why we haven't seen him recently.

[RandomKoolzip]

20. No, the reason you haven't seen him recently is that your tit pain is

blinding. Hell, *I'*m feeling a bit of soreness in the nips right now.

[Magrittes Pipe]

24. You told me to bite harder.

[RandomKoolzip]

28. That was a typo.

[patrice]

3. Broken rib?

Sorry, I just happened to re-read "The Death of Ivan Ilyich" last night.

[Magrittes Pipe]

5. Likely not.

I thought I broke my ribs once (that was the most pain I've ever been in -- this takes second place). The HMO doctor looked at the X-ray and said "you no fracture -- you take Tylenol." I said "fuck you."

Okay, I didn't, but I wanted to.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

6. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

:cry: Oh shit that's funny!

[Magrittes Pipe]

8. Fuck you.

I wish Skinner would re-ban your ass. :P

[RandomKoolzip]

12. Can it, you dicks! The Man WANTS us to fight!

[Magrittes Pipe]

15. Down with Whitey!

:grr:

[RandomKoolzip]

19. I'm starting to harbor suspicions that you ARE indeed "Down with Whitey."

Or that could be a spelling mistake and I am suspicious that you are a big Whitey Houston fan and this whole broken tit thing is a ruse designed to skew our prying eyes away from your tape collection and onto your sunken, hairless chest.

[Magrittes Pipe]

22. You're down on Whitey.

And my chest is hardly hairless -- just the bits aside from my nipples.

Ah, my glorious tufted jewels.

[RandomKoolzip]

26. You're so lucky.

I shave my areolas and then rouge them with dove's blood. Old family tradition.

[Magrittes Pipe]

29. Your family is fucked-up.

I hope you at least eat the dove.

[RandomKoolzip]

32. No, I have the aging lead singer of an early-70's Heavy Metal band

do it for me: Eric Bloom of Blue Oyster Cult and John Garner of Sir Lord Baltimore are on the Koolzip Family payroll.

[Magrittes Pipe]

38. I think Buck Dharma may be my real dad.

[RandomKoolzip]

40. Really? I'm related to Roger Glover of Deep Purple.....

....in that we both play bass badly.

[Magrittes Pipe]

41. Brother?

:o:cry::loveya:

[RandomKoolzip]

42. Muh...MOM?!

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

18. HA HA! Stop it - you're hurting my ribs!!

HAHAHAHA!!!!

[Magrittes Pipe]

23. If it didn't hurt to live, I would personally come to CT and kick your ass

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

27. Oh great - now I peed myself!

Hee hee thanks alot ha HA HAHAHAHA!!!!

Asshole!

[Solon]

10. Could be inflamed cartilage...

I know, I had it on my Sternum thanks to being rear ended in a car accident. Seat belt saved my life, but left a hell of a mark on my chest. Had pressure on my heart and it hurt like hell the next day, took steroids for 2 weeks to bring down the swelling. Hope you feel better.

[Magrittes Pipe]

14. It's probably more the impact from the bone...

...on the underside of the pectoral. Yeah, I've probably got a bone bruise, but the worst of the pain feels muscular.

[Solon]

17. Yep, it sucks...

my entire chest wall was inflamed, could hardly breathe without cussing up a storm, it hurt so bad. Probably best to get it checked out regardless of whether or not it is really serious.

[Magrittes Pipe]

21. I will if I'm still feeling this bad tomorrow.

I can handle anything for a day (well, I should probably get any angina checked out, but bone/muscle stuff should be fine). But if it persists or (good God) worsens, I'll see the doc.

[Schema Thing]

25. A good set of pec implants will keep this from ever happening again

[RandomKoolzip]

30. Al's got silicon allergies, so implants are right out.

Apparently he's got no allergy to denim, though. Maybe you should stuff a pair of 501's between your ribcage and breast-skin, Al....?

[Magrittes Pipe]

33. Hello, moron. Saline.

[Magrittes Pipe]

31. Good idea.

I'll have to consider that. I could use a little lipo on my moobs, too.

[RandomKoolzip]

35. "Moobs?!" You mean "Golden Bozos," right?

[Magrittes Pipe]

37. "Golden?!" You mean "Ashen and Pallid as to Death," right?

[RandomKoolzip]

39. Are we still talking about the HedgeLumps?

I guess they'd be pretty pale.

"Turn off your high beams, Al! I'm goin' blind over here!"

[roguevalley]

34. Have someone kiss it and make it better. :-D

[Magrittes Pipe]

36. Are you volunteering?

[SOteric]

43. Thanks for sharing.

:hi: