What are some red-flag signs of high-maintenance people?

[LoZoccolo]

I was in a chat room the other day talking about how movies seem to be better if they have coke in the plot (like Boogie Nights, that movie really benefitted from the cocaine stuff in it). This girl asked me to cut the coke talk because of bad memories or something. I'm like OK, but then I'm thinking oh come on.

It reminded me of this girl I knew who was a friend of a friend of a friend who wouldn't look at ambulances, even going so far as closing her eyes when we were passing a fire station while she was driving and I was in the backseat! I think it was something to do with she got so drunk once that she ended up in the hospital getting her stomach pumped or something like that. I think she still would drink after that, she wasn't afraid of that, so it made no sense. She'd do all these things like that for attention or to manipulate people by being annoying or whatever.

So like, to me, that's a red flag that someone is high-maintenance: that they won't let you talk about certain things in front of them because of some visceral experience they have from bad memories, and the thing you are talking about is like, loosely connected to the bad memories.

What are some of the telltale signs you've learned to look for?

[liontamer]

1. that they're afraid of high maintenance people

So much so, that any emotional issues others have are viewed as clear attacks on themselves personally

[Willy Lee]

2. Primp time is an easy tell-tale sign of maintenance.

If it takes her longer than an hour in front of the mirror before she can face the public, be warned.

Or look at how many pairs of shoes she has.

Many guys dig a high maintenance woman. Matter of preference, I guess.

[hickman1937]

3. She was probably an addict. n/t

[sniffa]

4. they have their pic as an avatar

watch out for them.

[SheilaT]

5. I don't know if I'd use the term

high maintenance here. What you're describing is people who because of personal experiences avoid certain aspects of reality. I haven't seen Boogie Nights so I can't begin to comment of the coke usage in it. But the girl who doesn't want to talk about using cocaine, while avoiding some aspects of reality, isn't doing anyone any harm.

But the woman who closes here eyes while driving because of ending up in a hospital has a serious problem. It's NEVER a good idea to close your eyes when driving, other than for normal blinking. She could get into a serious accident someday -- does she not realize that?

I tend to define high maintenance as someone who needs a lot of coddling overall, not someone with just one phobia. Or one topic that can't be discussed.

Nonetheless, depending on what the forbidden topic is, you might need to reconsider your friendship with such a person. Personally, I have any number of friends in my life with whom I cannot possibly discuss politics or current events because my take is so different from theirs. But we get along in many other ways, so those relationships do not require any special effort.

I'm sure this hasn't been much help, but I think I'll post it anyway.