I just found out that one of my best friends is engaged.

[coloradodem2005]

I know that I should be happy for him, but I cannot bring myself to be so. It just makes me realize that as my friends' lives have progressed mine has regressed. I just can't bring myself to be happy for him so please don't tell me that I should do so. My friends say when I should not die because it would hurt them. The problem is that they have jobs and goals and significant others. They have reasons to live. I don't. I am tired of getting by solely on faith. I know this is selfish. But there are days when I would rather be dead than have the life I have. Maybe it just bothers me that I'm 25 and have a college degree and couldn't get hired for shit. Maybe it just bothers me that women hate me. Maybe it just bothers me that the whole world wants me to fail. Or that I am a complete failure. They can let idiots like Bush be President for 8 years, but they cannot let me even work in a bank.

[motely36]

1. I'm sorry to hear of your troubles

I hope things get better for you soon. :hug:

[Lavender Brown]

2. Well I don't know what to say

but :hug: I hope you have someone where you live who you can talk to about these things.

[TexasSissy]

3. Okay, here ya go.

Advice from a middle aged person who went through the doldrums at age 27.

If you are sad about your friend getting engaged, then that means that you are jealous and unhappy with your own life, which you openly admit in your post.

1. Jealousy is a useless emotion. Give it up.
2. You say that the world wants you to fail. Now, you know that's not true. The truth is...the world doesn't care if you succeed or fail. You do. And you are the only one who has enough control over your life in order to make it a success or a failure.

Let's say that the world DOES want you to fail - the world doesn't make your life choices for you, or your dating choices, or anything like that. The world does not have enough control over your life to really affect it one way or the other. Only you do.

3. Your job. You have a college degree but can't get a job. What was your major? How were your grades? Besides having a degree, do you know how to do something that someone needs to pay someone to do? That's why and how people get jobs. If you have a degree in philosphy and your gpa was 2.0....those were choices you made, and that will not get you far. You would then have to focus on learning how to actually DO something.

4. Your job. You will eventually get a job, if you keep trying. It's a certainty. Don't let this one thing get you too down. You are so young, with many years and wonderful experiences ahead of you. Keep applying. Then focus on what you want to do as a job. Do you have a chosen field? Decide what you want to do...something that interests you enough to do for 40 years. Eventually, you will get hired in that field IF you have the proper education and grades or training for it. You may have to go to school some more in order to work in your chosen field. Be prepared for that. Or look for a trainee job in your field.

5. Girls. All women do not hate you. Quit generalizing. You will find the right girl eventually. Some of the most dating guys I've known were not the best looking ones. It's a matter of CONFIDENCE. Get a book on confidence, and study it. Not just read it. STUDY IT. Confidence is the key with men. Then develop the ability to take rejection from one girl, and move on to the next. That's how guys gets lots of girls. If you are smitten with one in particular, go after her. If she turns you down, ask her if she minds if you try again later. That's how I met the guy I married...he didn't give up (but he asked permission to keep calling). And I'm going out with a guy now that I would not have looked at twice, but he called me numerous times, I got to know and like him. He asked persmission to keep calling. He's not very good looking, either. CONFIDENCE!

You're just going through a down period. It will pass. Everything passes. That's one thing you can take to the bank. Tomorrow is another day.

[coloradodem2005]

5. This down period has endured for 2 years.

It has not passed and I see no possible way that it will.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

4. There's lot of people your age that have college degrees

that are having trouble finding decent jobs, myself included (also 25).

You have a long life ahead of you still. Make some goals and do everything in your power to pursue them. What have you got to lose anyhow?

BTW, I don't want to you to fail, and I bet your friends and family don't want to see you fail either. The world is neither against you nor for you.

[Moderator]

6. We are very concerned about you

but DU members are not qualified to provide the help you need. Please call 1-800-784-2433 for further assistance.