Confess!!! If you wrote a letter to "Dear Abby" what name would you sign?

[LynneSin]

You know how it works - some poor soul writes their world problems out in a letter to Dear Abby and signs it something like

Desperate in Duluth
Crazy in Concord
Sad in Sacramento


So if you wrote a letter to Dear Abby, what would your signature be?

Sincerely
Weary in Wilmington

[JohnKleeb]

1. Horny in Herndon

:D

[kick-ass-bob]

9. heh - "Randy in Raleigh" !!

:o

[PROGRESSIVE1]

2. "Lynnesin in Sacremento"

:silly: :silly: :silly:

[Burma Jones]

3. Bored in Boyds........................n/t

[Worst Username Ever]

4. Miffed in Minnesota

[Skink]

6. Scared in San Antonio..

:scared:

[Lavender Brown]

5. Befuddled in Brooklyn

[ohiosmith]

Lubricated in Las Vegas

[LynneSin]

10. Hey, we're talking "Dear Abby" not the Swinging Singles chat room in AOL

:eyes:

[ohiosmith]

13. My, my, my! Where is your mind at? Lubricated as in well oiled.

Never mind.

[liberalhistorian]

7. Ahem!

"Pretty and Prayerful in Painesville."
"Prattling on in Painesville."
"Peripatetic and Pathetic in Painesville."
"Praising Prunes in Painesville.'

:evilgrin: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

Actually, I think that column's really gone to shit since her daughter took over, I don't even enjoy reading it anymore it's so boring.

[Left Is Write]

8. Dingbat In The White House

[x-g.o.p.er]

11. Dear Abby,

I've used Cialis, and it's been more than 4 hours. Do I really need to see a doctor?

Sincerely,

Tripod McMassive

[BurtWorm]

12. SpongeBob-stricken on Fire Island

[Guy Fawkes]

14. Truth is: She makes up the names herself.

[RoeBear]

15. A letter that I'd like to see

to one of the doctor advice columns:

Dear Doctor,

I just severed the arteries on my left arm. What should I do?

Signed-
Bleeding out in Brighton

[Rainbowreflect]

16. Liberal in Lincoln.

Of course!

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

17. Sleepless in New York.

[Voltaire]

18. Incensed in Indianapolis

and if I were back in my hometown I would be Pissed in Philly

[greendog]

19. signed John Prine

Dear Abby, Dear Abby ...
My feet are too long
My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong
My friends they all tell me that I've no friends at all
Won't you write me a letter, Won't you give me a call
Signed Bewildered

Bewildered, Bewildered...

Chorus:
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood

Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
My fountain pen leaks
My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks
Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed
If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead
Signed Unhappy

Unhappy, Unhappy...

Repeat Chorus

Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
You won't believe this
But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss
My girlfriend tells me It's all in my head
But my stomach tells me to write you instead
Signed Noise-maker

Noise-maker, Noise-maker

Repeat Chorus

Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
Signed Just Married

Just Married, Just Married...

Repeat Chorus

[fluffernutter]

20. sadly stuck in shit (for 4 more years)

[WateryHands]

21. Intoxicated in Illinois

[KamaAina]

22. Cruel but "Christian" in Crawford

yup, my secret's out, I'm really Dubya... :evilgrin:

[LynneSin]

23. I knew there was something fishy about you

:p

[KamaAina]

24. Yes. It's called 'opakapaka (pink snapper).

It's very tasty. Try some with your favorite fine tequila if/when you get out here. Opihi'll save you some smoked wild pig meat for an appetizer. Ono! (delicious)

[dback]

25. Harried and Hopeless, of course!

Gold star to anyone who can name all the other psudonyms from the "Dear Libby" episode of "The Brady Bunch," besides "Really Frantic" (Jan) and "Innocent Bystander" (Alice).

[terrya]

26. Cuddly in Chicago...because, well....I am. :-)

Cuddly. In Chicago. Where I live. :-)

[trof]

27. Frustrated in Foley.

period

[B Calm]

28. Toothless in Kentucky

[Born in the Maze]

29. I did write a letter to Dear Abby

signed with "Born in the Maze". I suspect she would have changed it to "Angry in Albuquerque", if it had been published.