My parents are having an argument and my mom just asked my dad

[HEyHEY]

"What's up your craw?"

HAHAHAHAH!

ANyone else got a funny saying they wanna post

[flamingyouth]

1. "Join Arnold and take back California"

Oh, wait, that's just pathetic. Sorry.

[HEyHEY]

2. Right up there with "Four more years"

[scarlet_owl]

3. My beloved Irish great-grandmother

used to say "Go piss up a well rope". May God rest her beautiful soul.

[newyawker99]

30. Congrats scarlet_owl!! 400 posts

:toast:

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

4. How about "Bob's your Uncle?"

Common saying in the UK... supposedly traces its roots back to a nobleman named Robert (was it The Bruce? Can't remember) who had a nephew who was a complete fuckwit. No matter how many times he screwed things up, Uncle Bob came through with another post for him.

Thus, when you are lucky... like finding a fiver on the pavement... Hey! Bob's your uncle!

[HEyHEY]

5. Or

Robert's your Father's Brother...is that a longer version?

[demnan]

6. How about . . .

George Herbert Walker Bush is your father (!)

;-)

[TheReligiousLeft]

11. "Bush is your daddy" (nt)

[Skittles]

7. my grandma said

THE ROOSTER CROWS BUT THE HEN DELIVERS THE GOODS.

[Droopy]

8. "Pack it in your shorts"

My mother and her friends were fond of using that one when some male friend was giving them a hard time. I first heard it when I was young and didn't understand the implications of the saying when I used it in school. I said that to a friend of mine in front of a teacher. I didn't get in trouble but I thought about that years later when I understood what it meant and wondered what the teacher thought.

[efhmc]

9. When my mom got mad, she'd say she was going to

throw something from "hell to breakfast". I can't remember her ever really throwing anything but all 5 of us scattered. I never did understand that saying.

[Grassrooter]

10. 'Oh, son of a crap!'

Instead of 'son of a bitch' - except I can't remember who I heard that from, but it made me laugh.

[maxanne]

12. frost your tonsils

as in, "The idea of Bush getting elected really frosts my tonsils."

[MsChiff]

13. A common saying where I work......

I'm up to my ass in alligators.

[scarlet_owl]

14. Hey, I like that.

Mind if I use it?

[MsChiff]

15. Be my guest :-)

It never fails to cut the tension. :)

[jenm]

22. I love that one

I'm always there, seems like

[L4d]

16. Tons of 'em

My grandfather had a saying for just about everything (and many of them on the vulgar side), but my favorite from him was one he always said about a woman who had her act together and wouldn't take any crap off anybody (the kind he liked):

"She's got some snap in her garters!"

I just love that one.

On edit: Forgot to add another of his sayings, about politicians: "He's so crooked, if he swallowed a nail, he's spit out a corkscrew." This saying is like a Greek chorus in my mind regarding Bush & Co.

My mother has one that always makes me laugh: "I'm as broke as the Ten Commandments." It's not true--she just thinks it is. But it's still funny as hell to me.

[Lars39]

17. "Not worth a flip in a whirlwind" and " Well, shit a monkey!"

were two of my favorites my mom used to say. She had a lot more; they come back to me every once in a while. :)

[ccvirgo911]

18. I like the one I heard

On Jon Stewart tonight:
"How's the weather up your ass?"
Hysterical!!!:)

[ScreamingMeemie]

19. Blow it out your barracks bag and your mother wears combat boots.

Two very favorite sayings of my father.

[ironflange]

20. Had a high-school aquaintance. . .

who was unable to curse properly. He's say things like "oh, crotch!" and "aw, piss!"

[seventhson]

21. That really TORKS MY JAW!!!

He's having a shit hemorrhage (for someone having a canniption fit)

"well suck outta my ass!!!" (said to me when I told someone I got married)

I could think of a lot more but its late (Bayou expressions from SE louisiana and N.O. - the big easy- are pretty fucking awesome)

[jenm]

23. Your mother sells Amway products

lolol

[bleedingheart]

32. Are you by chance from Grand Rapids MI?

[HEyHEY]

24. My fav for drunk people

"He's got his snowsuit on and he's heading north!"

[TOhioLiberal]

25. A coworker..

one time when I was deep in b*tch mode, asked me
Who peed in your oatmeal this morning? got to be a running joke.
Trekkerlass

[newyawker99]

31. Hi trekkerlass!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

[Duncan Grant]

26. Appalachian sayings of my Grandparents...

On Politicians:

"He's windy-er than a bag full of a**holes" (think Orin Hatch)

"He's crooked as a dog's leg" (Nixon)



An insult:

"He/She's uglier than a mud fence"


Wish I could remember more of them...

[trigz]

27. An Indian-British autor once described

a British woman as looking like "a meatball in a sock". Can't remember the bloke's name, but well said ;)

[Rabrrrrrr]

28. He's so crooked, when he dies they'll have to screw him into the ground

Love that one.

[Rabrrrrrr]

29. And for when someone lets go with a powerfully stinky fart:

"What crawled up your ass and DIED?"

[Robb]

33. "Got a hitch in mah git-along"... n/t

[bif]

34. Bup, bup, bup

I heard this old Greek guy use this one. I nearly died laughing. It's used sort of like Bob's your Uncle. As in, "You take some flour, mix in some sugar and eggs, and bup, bup, bup, you've got a cake!"

[bif]

35. Ass over brainpan!

One of my favorites. Used like this: "He nearly fell ass over brainpan down the stairs!"