If anyone cares, a question about a relationship

[More Than A Feeling]

I am in Washington, D.C. for the semester. Just before the election, I met this wonderful girl, whom I like very much. Sadly, before we could get to know each other in person, I left. We IM practically every day, and we grow closer.

The thing of it is, she does not yet know that I would like to have a romantic relationship with her. She has been going out on dates with other guys.

So I wrote her a letter telling her about how I feel. My thinking is that if she found someone before I came home to tell her in person, I would always regret that I hadn't let her know. This way, if she says no, at least I will have tried, and disappointment won't come between us and ruin a beautiful friendship.

That is my story and I am sticking to it. Should I have done this, or should I have just held my peace, and suffered in silence until I got back?

[JVS]

1. It was fine to open your mouth

Remember: if you have to shut up and suffer, it isn't really a friendship

[Left Is Write]

2. I think you did fine. At least she knows now, and maybe

something can develop between the two of you. I agree that sometimes it's better to try and get nothing than to wonder forever what might have been.

[Bunny]

3. You have nothing to lose by letting her know your feelings.

I hope it works out for you!

[Glenda]

4. I take it you haven't heard back yet?

Was it an actual letter or an email?

Wouldn't the world be a great place if everyone could express how they feel to each other?

I hope it works out for you. It's hard to know what is the right thing to do. You did it. You were brave. Let's see how it goes from here. Suffering in silence is a horrible, horrible thing, and you're going to feel better for getting it out into the open.

G.

[More Than A Feeling]

9. It was an actual letter

For a woman of her quality, an email just wouldn't do, and instant messenger is right out.

[Misunderestimator]

5. You should definitely have done it.

Nothing comes from not putting yourself out there. You did the right thing. :thumbsup:

[fluffernutter]

6. good job! you wouldn't want to always wonder what might have been

positive thoughts and good luck! :)

[skygazer]

7. Well, in my opinion you did the right thing

People aren't mind readers and unless you tell them what you feel, they're not going to know. I've never been a big fan of playing games and having to guess what the other person wants. I like to know.

I would be willing to bet that she suspects your feelings but wasn't really sure. And that you know that she's dating other guys because she hopes that knowledge will elicit some sort of response from you that will let her know if her suspicions are correct. Because we do tend to pick up vibes from people - it's just hard to tell if they're right or not.

[bigwillq]

8. I think you made a good decision

At least she knows how you feel and your relationship/friendship can move on from here even if she doesn't want to pursue anything romantic.

best of luck!:hi:

[sundog]

10. Good choice - I am also a letter person

Conversations are quickly forgotten, but a letter will stick longer in someone's memory.

She will probably read it several times... Then the ball is clearly in her court. Cards are on the table now.

[More Than A Feeling]

11. Thank you all!

Now I am much more certain that I did the right thing. I'll let you know how this thing turns out!

[Acryliccalico]

12. Yes you did the right thing for both of you.

It's called telling the truth. Now you both will know where your relationship is and where it will go.

[More Than A Feeling]

13. That is what she values

Guys who are genuine, who want to know her for who she is, rather than being blinded by her beauty (and yes, she is stunning). She hates agendas. You have put your finger on what this is all about.

[Acryliccalico]

15. I do my best

:) I hope it works out for you.

[Thor_MN]

14. Bess, Deb, Lisa.... Yeah you did the right thing.

If the coin flips that way, finding out that she isn't interested in that will suck, but having nagging doubts and calling yourself a fool for the rest of your life... You did the right thing.

[Little Wing]

16. I think you did the right thing.

That isn't going to take the hurt away if she's not interested, but as the old saying goes - No guts, no glory.

[Taragui Junkie]

17. What were you THINKING? You were WRONG!!!

Just kidding--I like being the contrarian at times.

No, actually, I agree with everyone else. You were honest and upfront, and now she knows.

She may not feel the same way, but you're a big boy and can handle it. You don't know until you try, right? Best of luck.