I am now going off to read the transcript of W's unaugural speech.

[WritersBlock]

Someone hold onto the rope, please.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

1. Don't do it! Life is not that bad.

Please reconsider!

[derby378]

2. Seeking a stray Valium pill

Aw, hell. Just pass me the Southern Comfort - it'll help with my sinuses.

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

3. Got a link, please?

I've been meaning to do the same because I can't tolerate the sound of his voice but, like other disgusting tasks, it's something I put off until there's nothing else to do.

[patdem]

4. Here is a completely annotated link for your pleasure...good luck!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=103x99460

[WritersBlock]

6. Thank you. That makes it much more palatable.

'Cos the version on the WH website made no sense whatsoever. It's like they gathered up the speech during one of those management weekends; each table got to do one paragraph, and designate one person to write it on the flipchart. WTF??

I'm off for a hot cleansing bath.

And lots of alcohol.

Hey, maybe THAT's how they wrote it!!

[WritersBlock]

5. Kee-rist, this is painful. More later. n/t

[WritersBlock]

7. Done. I want a cigarette. And it wasn't even good for me. n/t

[patdem]

9. LOL...like smoking after being ravaged! What a bunch of hooey!

Liberty (Mirriam Websters definition)

Main Entry: lib·er·ty
Pronunciation: 'li-b&r-tE
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -ties
Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French liberté, from Latin libertat-, libertas, from liber free -- more at LIBERAL
1 : the quality or state of being free: a : the power to do as one pleases b : freedom from physical restraint c : freedom from arbitrary or despotic control d : the positive enjoyment of various social, political, or economic rights and privileges e : the power of choice
2 a : a right or immunity enjoyed by prescription or by grant : PRIVILEGE b : permission especially to go freely within specified limits
3 : an action going beyond normal limits: as a : a breach of etiquette or propriety :

Wonder what bush** meant when he talked of Liberty?

[Thor_MN]

8. Make sure you have some vodka to rinse your mind out with afterwards,

You can never be too safe with mental hygiene.

[Left Is Write]

10. Take a vomit bag with you.

[WritersBlock]

11. Sheesh. I tell y'all what, I'm glad I didn't actually listen to it.

But from the reading of it, I wouldn't have been listening much anyway; I'd have been shouting back at the TV for the most part.

Remember that website that used to come up with the nonsensical management-speak? Where 2 or 3 words are thrown together at random to make an important-sounding phrase that makes no sense whatsoever?

That is, in all seriousness, what it immediately reminded me of.