Suffering

[rogerashton]

Some of us are ill, or hurt, and the ones who love us suffer with us. We may feel that their suffering is our fault. I believe (and I admit I want to believe) that it is not.

After all, we did not choose to be sick or hurt. No one in a reasonable mind would choose that, but a misstep, a microorganism, a confused cell or gene has given us a legacy of pain, illness, need, that we could not refuse. It is a reality we have to live. Of course, we are not guilty of what we did not choose.

We want to be strong, and not show the hurt, so that we do not burden those who love us. But we are not so perfectly strong, and that, again, is a reality we have to live. But in this case, perhaps it is best that we are not so perfectly strong.

Our companions could (if they did not love us) choose not to suffer. What we could not choose, they can. But they choose to suffer with us, because they love us. Their suffering is a gift of love, and it is not a kindness to reject a gift of love, although it can be, and is in this case, a sadness to accept it.

Whose fault is it? No one's, because it is not a fault at all. To love and offer a gift of love is not a fault. To be hurt and in need and accept a gift of love is not a fault.

But why does that not keep the tears from my eyes?

[Bullwinkle925]

1. I'm sad that you felt you had to write this...

I am with a spouse who is living with cancer. I know what you're saying.

[kittycat1164]

2. {{{{{{{{{{{hugs back at ya}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

It's hard on everyone-with no one to blame.

[El Fuego]

3. Big hug to you from me.

:grouphug:

Both my Mom and my Dad died young of cancer. I know where you are coming from, I have been there. I will never forget my mother saying "I am so sorry for this..."

Know that I have read your post, I understand, and you will be in my thoughts.