The real cause of divorce

[Deja Q]

I've ranted a couple times before about how the news points out our stressful lifestyle that in turn causes anxiety, depression, weight gain, stress, crime, everything else.

Well, here's an article related to all that which the pukes will hate because this just happens to be another byproduct of our sick society:

It came from http://money.cnn.com/ in the personal finance section, but this page was loaded under Compuserve and the address bar unavailable. So I'm posting enough of it to make sense and to avoid stupid copyright laws here:


NEW YORK (bankrate.com) - Let's face it, next to death, the topic we least like to think about is divorce.

Although the United States Census Bureau ceased compiling divorce statistics in 1990, experts agree that fully half of all U.S. marriages will eventually hit the skids.

The leading cause of divorce in America? Disagreement over money.

The dissolution of a marriage is often fraught with heartache, but the financial consequences can be equally devastating and, what's worse, can last longer. Three out of four divorcees will remarry within three years, but it can take longer than that just to dig out of divorce-induced debt, much less rebuild a credit rating.



A lot of times when couples go into divorce, one spouse will write bad checks or somehow abuse the bank account which will tarnish the other party's ability to open a bank account on their own.



Mike Kidwell
Myvesta
The emotional strain of a marriage gone sour, especially over money, often times leads to financial blows, according to Kerry Hannon, author of Suddenly Single: Money Skills for Divorcees and Widows.

"In a divorce, there is a lot of anger, and money is sometimes seen as a good way to get back at somebody," she says.

"There is often a lot of unhappiness associated with divorce, and the last thing you want to think about is money, when it should be the first thing."

There are numerous steps you can take -- before, during and after a divorce -- to help you quickly rebuild your credit and get back on your feet.


The rest of the lengthy article goes on about how to create accounts and hide them from your spouse while you figure out if he/she is about to divorce you and so on. Useful if you get into that situation, but that's a symptom of a bigger problem: The status quo.

[Ellen Forradalom]

1. One of the best values we can pass along to children

is restraint regarding money: disapproving of greed, being self-sufficient on little, and living within one's means as a family.

Not that you'll ever hear the Greed-is-Good repukes ever talk about that. All they ever think about it is sex-sex-sex-unfaithfulness-adultery-sex.

[scarlet_owl]

2. My husband and I never disagree about money.

We both agree that we don't have any.

[blondeatlast]

3. Drat; you beat me to it.

[populistmom]

4. Well...

I'm not divorced, but the 4 years of our 12 year marriage (98-02) that hubby was in charge of the finances lead down a really bad road money wise and caused a large amount of stress. In the past year I've taken over, not one problem. Sometimes, some people just handle certain things better. However, he can listen to and assess lung sounds better than I can and can lift slightly heavier objects and kill bugs.

[bearfan454]

9. That is very true populistmom.

I get paid and just get cash out of my bank account for my wife to write out all of the bills. I have a checking account but I bounced checks in the past so it is better for her to take care of the finances. Some people are better than other people at certain things.

[BiggJawn]

11. Thank god we can kill BUGS!

Or we wouldn't of much use....:7

[WindRavenX]

5. Society needs to re-evaluate the value we place on wealth and money

As a society, we place being wealthy over happiness. We think the only way to be happy is to spend spend spend, get that BMW, get that satellite and HDTV plasma TV, live in a mansion, etc. etc.
I wonder how many people divorce not for problems with their spouse, but for their spouse failing to be a spender and simply acquire things.

[scarlet_owl]

6. Here Here!

We don't have expensive things or lots of money, but my husband and I have each other. We appreciate little things like nightly walks and playing with our ferrets. Buying lots of crap would only spoil the fun.

[Boudicea]

7. I divorced my husband over money

But not because I wanted luxury items. I've always been proud that I wasn't a material girl. Five months after we married (too quickly) he quit his job and just plain refused to work. Oh he would work around the house, cook dinner, clean, but would not get another job. I had to threaten to leave before he went to work again. Then it was one thing after another to cause him to quit, get fired, on and on. I tried to encourage him, believe in him, give him the benefit of the doubt. Then I finally faced it, I was his meal ticket. And I had a 12 year old child of my own to raise, on a secretary's salary. The only answer was divorce. He immediately moved in with a woman (about the same age as his mom) and now lives off of her. Sometimes, when we've made bad choices the only option is to get the fuck out.

[dofus]

8. As a parent I'm convinced

that teaching our kids to handle money is one of the most important things we do. There's not one perfect way to do it, but what's worked for me so far had to do with giving an allowance, requiring part of it to be saved, and then making sure they opened a checking account at age 16, to learn how to manage that. Hopefully by the time they're working full time and out completely on their own, they'll have the skills and experience to handle whatever amount of money they have, be it a little or a lot.

[WindRavenX]

10. That's sound advice

But besides that, I think we need to teach kids the value of things beyond simple monetary value...
But yes, good money skills are very important. Particularly to those who are just starting to live on their own, managing one's finances can seem confusing and even scary...

[BiggJawn]

12. Aw, Baloney! Money had nothing to do with it....

It was my refusal to get the sex-change operation that clinched it...
:7