Do you have a really good friend?

[Doctor_J]

I am having minor but lingering and deeply personal crisis right now, something I need to talk to death. I find that I don't have a friend close enough to take up such a deep topic with. It's not the kind of thing that I could talk to Mrs. TOJ about. Ever been in this situtation? What did you do? Do most people have a friend with whom they could discuss literally anything? Should I hire a friend (counselor)?

[RubyDuby in GA]

1. I don't know you or one single thing about you, but

if you want to talk to an impartial stranger who could offer (perhaps) advice, PM me. I'll listen. :hug:

[demnan]

2. Yes, get some help

As close as my friends are, I think talking to a psychologist is more effective if you are really having a crisis, because as a person emotionally removed from you, they can be a bigger help as they will see things clearly.

Good friends are supportive when you have a problem, but they may not want to risk the friendship by telling you something you might not want to hear.

[bobbobbins]

3. Why can't you talk to your wife...thats what shes there for

unless it involves you cheating on her or something along those lines.

[Doctor_J]

7. true in 99.99% of topics

We share roughly that % of things, but this one falls into that 1-in-10000... That's why this one is gnawing.

[shesemsmom]

4. Yes I do, but unfortunately

she was put in the nursing home a year ago and has been near death a couple of times and I just couldn't trouble her with anything to deep. I don't think she's up to it. I'd get the counselor or perhaps your pastor if you have one

[movie_girl99]

5. i have told my husband everything about myself except

one thing that ive never been able to tell anyone. I have considered couseling but not sure i want to go there.

[unblock]

6. of course i do, and i married her.

i met mrs. unblock shortly before my divorce was finalized. i thought i was "over it" because i knew i had done the right thing. but it turns out that, somehow, the topic kept coming up and i kept going on at length about things i was angry/sad/disappointed/betrayed/whatever from my first marriage.

i really chewed mrs. unblock's ear off for the first 6 months or so, and she was really a great sport about it, but it really wasn't fair to her, and to us. in retrospect, i should have "hired a friend (counselor)" as you so aptly put it, so as to keep my venting from interfering with my new relationship.

in my case, though, i wouldn't have been keeping any secrets from mrs. unblock, just keeping her from becoming overloaded with every detail that i needed to vent.

i wouldn't recommend keeping any secrets from mrs. toj, but a couselor may help you work it out and help you figure a way to share it with mrs. toj.

best of luck!

:hug: