Knit yourself a uterus:)

[SoCalDem]

Changed the title


http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEwinter04/PATTwomb.html
Human anatomy is pretty amazing, but not always pretty. My interest in anatomy coupled with the Blythe dolls phenomenon somehow combined in my imagination to produce a cute, cuddly uterus doll.

It's not completely anatomically accurate. I've taken a few liberties with the general shape and scale, as well as leaving out the ligaments connected to the ovaries. And, of course, the human uterus is not normally bubblegum pink.

photos: MK Carroll


SIZE
One

FINISHED MEASUREMENTS
Height: 4 inches
Body Circumference: 10 inches
Tubes: 6 inches long, 2.5 inches circumference at base


MATERIALS

Cascade 128 Chunky <100% Peruvian highland wool; 128yd/117m per 100g skein>; color: pink 2561; 1 skein (will make three uterus dolls)
Note: Brown Sheep Lamb's Pride Bulky in M38 Lotus Pink is a good alternate

1 set US #8/5mm double-point needles
stitch marker
tapestry needle
crochet hook
pipe cleaners (2 for each doll, preferably pink)
scrap yarn or stuffing (approximately 2 cups worth)
beads


GAUGE
16 sts/24 rows = 4 inches in stockinette stitch worked in the round


pattern notes
How to work I-cord
CO required number of sts onto a dpn. K all sts.
Next Row: Instead of turning the work around to work back on the WS, slide all sts to the other end of the needle, switch the needle back to your left hand, bring the yarn around the back of the work, and start knitting the sts again. After the first 2 sts, give the yarn a sharp tug.
Repeat this row to form I-cord.
After a few rows, the work will begin to form a tube.

[Zuni]

1. But who would want to snuggle with a uterus doll to begin with...

[China_cat]

24. Give one to every man.

You know they all wish they had one.

[Tom_Foolery]

27. I spent the best 9 months of my life hugged up to a uterus. n/t

[SoCalDem]

33. Didn't we all

That's truly one thing all people have in common:) Too bad it all changes once we are born :)

[bloodyjack]

2. I'd hit it.

[nickgutierrez]

3. "The Uterus Punching Bag! In stores now!!!" n/t

[Bouncy Ball]

4. I did a bit of research on the girl who did this.

I just HAD to know what kind of person would feel compelled to KNIT a uterus.

Here are some interesting tidbits: she wants to make an indie film and/or book about it, and she actually talks about buying the right kind of ovaries for "your Womb:"

"8. The lack of ovaries: The pattern does list beads for supplies, but there aren't any in the photos and it's not mentioned in the finishing instructions. I'm still shopping for ovaries with my Womb, who is probably going to have a whole wardrobe of them. The bead store has some interesting options. Proportionally, the ovaries should be a little wider than the fimbria (the fringe around the ends of the fallopian tubes). I recommend going with the ovaries your Womb prefers - if she wants Swarovski crystals, give them to her. Pearls? Nothing is too good for your womb. Diamonds? I'll draw a line and ask your Womb to choose faux or antique. Gemstones and diamonds in particular are a bloody in a bad way business these days."

She also points out other knitted body parts she's seen:

"6. Why not a ?
Some of these have already been done by others. Some workplaces may consider the images unsuitable for a workplace environment.
Vulva Coin Purse
Knitted "Hoo Hoo" (vulva)
Crocheted Penis
Knitted Penis (pattern available for sale)
And, as it happens, there is another knitted uterus out there, used for demonstrations in birth classes.
knitted uterus for sale"

Here's some more creepy stuff from her blog:

"The larger project idea behind Womb was to make a uterus that I could take out - to the park, to tea, to have long chats with."

Um, ok. I presume she already HAS a uterus. Can she not talk to the uterus she has that is a real one? I mean, personally I've never felt the need to talk to my uterus, or any of my fun bits, to tell the truth, but if you want to talk to a uterus, why not the one you've already got?

She also belongs to Wombs on Washington, a PRO-choice group:

A pro-choice crafting group using their skillz for good.

Conception: Created by a feminist knitter, who expressed her frustrations with the conservative Supreme Court and the possibility of Scalia as the new chief justice; "I may as well cut out my womb and leave it on the steps of the supreme court."� A suggestion of knitting a representation of her uterus from a popular pattern was suggested, and a campaign for Women's Rights was born!

Basics: Women and men from across the country will knit, crochet, sew, and otherwise create a "womb" (or vaginas, coat hangers, whatever they feel necessary) to have dumped on the steps of the Supreme Court building. The intent is to be HEARD by our government. Also involved might be a letter-writing campaign and local womb-drops AFTER the main events, as well as this concept working into V-day celebrations and tours.

[Bouncy Ball]

5. In case you wanted to see the...erm....coin purse

http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?PHPSESSID=a44e4a97de64dbc76fd4409a8eaeeeee&topic=6838.msg53619#msg53619

I'm not even going to post the link to the "knitted hoo hoo" or the "crotcheted penis" which the users on that forum suggest could be used as a "vibrator cozy."

I had NO idea knitting could be so risque.

[RevolutionaryActs]

7. That is just disturbing.

:wtf:

[JohnKleeb]

11. God I know

[Bouncy Ball]

8. Oh my GOD.

It's like a whole seamy underworld of crafty naughtiness. Who knew? Everytime I click on a link I am pushed deeper into this netherworld.

I have tears running down my face, I am laughing so hard. I just wish more DUers were up right now.

http://myvag.net/zine/2004summer/

[SoCalDem]

13. There are "naughty" bakers too..

I have seen some cakes that would make anyone blush.. Complete with dyed, shredded coconut, for the natural effect..:evilgrin:

[Bluebear]

10. Oh la la, a "vibrator cozy"

It's all out there idn't it?

[pnorman]

17. Stepping (daintily) down through the layers of links,

I found this lovely little gem: http://myvag.net/zine/2004summer/

Hasta la Vagina
pnorman

[Bouncy Ball]

19. As I saw one woman remark on one of those sites,

"that's vaginarific!"

(this thread is SO gonna get locked if we don't stop)

[SoCalDem]

21. There cannot be a rule against anatomy

O8)

[Bouncy Ball]

22. True, I mean we aren't talking about the "s" word

just anatomical things.

But I can see other DUers taking this and running with it, that's all.

I live in fear of the thread lock! :scared:

[Pithlet]

32. Yeah, this thread definitely has a limited shelf life.

:)

[havocmom]

39. locked or nominated

could go either way.

Just wish i wasn't so sore from coughing... this is killing me

[SoCalDem]

6. Thanks for the research.. I altered the title

didn;t want people to think she was an "anti-choice"er..

There is truly EVERYTHING on the web, no??

[Bouncy Ball]

9. Yeah

(can't breathe) check out what I just posted above your post. Dear Lord.

[FizzFuzz]

31. ya know, I kind of hate it when people make important causes look idiotic

by making a public show of things like this.

Take it out for tea.

Yah. You bet.

[Bouncy Ball]

35. And for walks in the parks and chats. Don't forget that.

Plus she's letting her knitted womb decide what kinda ovaries it wants--pearls, beads, crystals.

I vote for peeled white grapes, but whatever.

[FizzFuzz]

53. oh silly me, I forgot!

How will it tell her when it's made its decision? Call her on the FallopianFone?

[Bouncy Ball]

12. SoCalDem

I have to thank you. I don't know WHEN I've laughed this hard at 3 am.

http://www.sillygirl.com/words.php?PSerial=623

[SoCalDem]

14. You're very welcome.. I go on "web-hunts" in the latenight

Did you see the one from last night? about the Doris day movie??

[RevolutionaryActs]

15. HAHAHAHA What the hell are those?!?!?

LMAO!

[nickgutierrez]

16. What. The. Fuck.

:o

[SoCalDem]

18. Here's a cute little game Santa Balls.. He cusses you out when you goof

http://www.sillygirl.com/games.php?PSerial=581

[NuttyFluffers]

23. i want maxi pad slippers! and a knitted uterus!

these are cool! i'd totally be down shelling some clams for this.

wonder if they can make a knit vulva beanie for me.

do you think they can make maxi pad slippers with high heels made from e.p.t. sticks or stacked tampon applicators?

i think i'm gonna send them an e-mail...

[FizzFuzz]

34. 3 sizes-regular, light days and Get Out the Sand Bags! HAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHH

*gasp*

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



phew! good one!

[Bouncy Ball]

36. Plus you can mop up spills on the floor WITH your slippers!

They are hygenic and clean and have a grip strip on the bottom. This one killed me, it really did.

Decorate them in different ways for different holidays and occasions. Almost makes me wish I had thought of this but I wonder how bored I'd have to be to do so....

[FizzFuzz]

55. All the good ideas are taken.

I was gonna make Diapragms into rainyarmulkes for cats, but then I saw the woman who draws Sylvia already thought of it. I'm such an underachiever. :(

[Pithlet]

57. The snowmen are a special touch.

I can't think of anything else to say about that :)

[Bouncy Ball]

20. Ever heard of MUM?

Before you check it out, keep this in mind: a GUY started it and runs it. Yeah.

http://www.mum.org/index.html

[RC]

25. Want to have some fun with the Conservatives?

This should do it. :evilgrin:

http://myvag.net/zine/2004summer/divine-interventions/

[Bouncy Ball]

26. Heh heh that one's really good!!!!

:evilgrin:

[RevolutionaryActs]

28. This thread was so disturbingly funny, it deserves a kick.

:kick:

[Dookus]

29. oh my

It's been so long... do the real ones have zippers?

[RevolutionaryActs]

30. BUHAHHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh my.

[Bouncy Ball]

38. Well it IS a new accessory.

I have ordered one in pink and purple. Gray and white just doesn't work for me.

But I'm afraid when I get it I'll just play with the pearl all the time and people will look at me funny.

[Dookus]

41. lordy

are they supposed to be purple? I'm so glad I'm gay...

[Bouncy Ball]

43. Purple?

Only when gestating a child. I should have just said pink.

[Dookus]

44. I figured

they were pink for girls and blue for boys.

[Bouncy Ball]

46. Blue?

For boys? Manginas?

[Dookus]

48. no... if you were GESTATING a boy!

sheesh...

speaking of Manginas....


Sally Mangina

Sally Mangina replaces Barb Cothren, who stepped down as IWU women's tennis coach this spring but remains on staff as physical education department head and as a teacher.

[Bouncy Ball]

49. Oh no.

If there wasn't a picture, I'd think you were making that up.

As for the purple or blue, to be honest, it's rather purplish-blue.

Increased blood flow and all that.

More than you ever wanted to know, I'm sure. This whole thread has to have you going like this :scared:

[Dookus]

50. alas it's real

and it's her MARRIED name. Makes you wonder how bad her maiden name was.

[Dookus]

51. ah... purple

[Bouncy Ball]

52. Dookus

now you KNOW that's someone who just voted in Iraq!!!

:spank:

[SoCalDem]

56. Watch out for the "Purple People Eater"

[Bouncy Ball]

40. And a bunch of pennies inside.

[Dookus]

42. if ya could put in loose

and spit 'em out rolled, that'd be quite a trick. You could get a job in Tijuana.

[Bouncy Ball]

45. I'm in the grocery store,

getting out some change and I tell the checker guy, "Hang on, I'm trying to find my vulva coin purse....oh there it is! You like it? I made it myself! I decided to use faux fur on the outside and put an extra storage area underneath the main part!"

Now THAT would be a day at work he wouldn't soon forget.

[madison2000]

37. Nice looking fallopian tubes...

[Bouncy Ball]

47. How to finish off the knitted uterus

FINISHING
Stuff body until it feels firm but cuddly. Pull yarn end at top of body to close, fasten off and weave in end.
Bend tip of each pipe cleaner over (about .25 inches). Slide each pipe cleaner, bent end first, into a fallopian tube, working from the CO end up to loop fringed end. Leaving 2.5 Ð 3 inches projecting from the cast on end, cut excess pipe cleaner. Position tubes on body, pushing ends of pipe cleaners into body. Using pins or coilless safety pins, secure tubes to body, gently spreading out bases of tubes. Sew into place and remove pins.
Weave in all ends.
Gently bend fallopian tubes forward into a curve, or however you wish to pose them.


I've never thought of a uterus as being "cuddly."

[Book Lover]

54. For nine months, the uterus is the cuddliest thing around!

How I wish my mom was still around! I would love to have one of these from her knitting needles :-)