For a change of pace LAWYER JOKES

[Valerie5555]

What do you get with 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean????????????????????????? A good start.

[jdots]

1. which ocean ?

can we change this to art curator jokes or c.e.o. jokes ?

[Valerie5555]

2. Maybe you could sub in those people and even ambassadors / foreign service

officers if you want.

[dorktv]

3. hey I happen to be in love with a lawyer!

[Valerie5555]

4. Uh oh maybe I should cut this thread short and kill it in case either JOHN

KERRY or JOHN EDWARDS are reading DU, for they're LAWYERS too aren't they????????????????????????????



Funny how there's no response to my "diplomat" joke thread, for I thought there may have been one or more DU'ers who were preparing for the FSO exam or something. That was the FOREIGN SERVICE test.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

5. Lawyer jokes = RW porn

They love these because lawyers are the one thing that allows poor people to fight abuse from the rich.

[Darknyte7]

6. *groan*

must we?

[lonestarnot]

7. A good start on failure to fight employers who terminate employees

wrongfully.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

8. Oooooo, but don't you know, the poor businessmen are the VICTIMS!

Employees are nothing but slackers who want to become welfare queens and have abortions in their Cadillacs! If you ask me the minimum wage should be 10^-47 cents per eon! And them damn lawyers HELP them! </freeper>

[dr.strangelove]

9. I'M A LAWYER AND I LOVE A GOOD LAWYER JOKE!

Fire away.

Here are a few from previous e-mails I have received (I have a lawyer joke folder)

Here are some classic lawyer jokes:
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.

How does an attorney sleep?
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only one. The rest are true stories.

What are lawyers good for?
They make used car salesmen look good.

What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?
Not enough cement.

What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
Skeet.

What do you do if you run over a lawyer?
Back over him to make sure. Then, make another notch on the steering wheel.

What happens to a lawyer who jumps out of a plane at 35,000 feet without a parachute?
Who cares?

What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?
A doberman.

Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.


These are some pretty clever lawyer jokes:

What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?
One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.

Why does California have the most lawyers in the country, and New Jersey have the most toxic waste sites?
New Jersey got first choice.

Why don't lawyers go to the beach?
Cats keep trying to bury them in the sand.

How do the terrorists win? Take a whole courtroom full of lawyers hostage and threaten to release one every hour until the demands are met.

What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?
He gets taller.

What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the dog.