can christians own cats!

[WoodrowFan]

HA! I knew cats were EVIL!

http://dbhome.dk/carlo/cat.htm

Clearly, the Bible - by using this kind of terminology - shows beyond any reasonable doubt that the basic nature of cats, while created perfect by God, has become evil or 'beastlike' since the fall of Adam six thousand years ago, and more probably, since the Great Flood of Noah's time (c2350 B.C.E.). This is a development of the condition borne by the 'Original Serpent', the 'Great Dragon' Lucifer himself. (Gen. 3:1) Indeed, modern studies of classification of cats, while not necessarily being reliable as they may be based on the discredited 'theory' of evolution, strongly associate felines with serpents (despite some external differences in physiology and morphology, which confuse those who do not study these matters deeply).

There are numerous reasons why a loyal dedicated servant of God should use his Bible-trained conscience to arrive at a proper understanding of why cats are not advisable as pets or companions for Christians. Consider, then, the following facts:

[tuvor]

1. The Bible doesn't mention cats at all.

[Jokerman]

2. My cats are better than most xtians I've met. n/t

[nickinSTL]

3. cats are related to 'serpents'?

:wtf:

I'm not even going to go into this...what a nutjob.

[fertilizeonarbusto]

4. OK, these are the fucking morons

that think they can tell ANYONE else how to live? Are you sure this is not a parody? What the fuck drug are they on? How did I end up sharing a planet with this sort of blinding stupidity?
Serpentlike?
This jackass just envies cats their freedom-and obviously their brains.

[LDS Jock]

5. this was posted the other day, but still amazes me

Is there nothing which can't be rejected?

[WoodrowFan]

7. sorry I missed it

sorry dude, I missed it when it was posted before.

[LDS Jock]

8. oh no.. I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to sound like that

I'm old now and forget my manners.

[WoodrowFan]

9. no problem

I didn't take it badly. I'm just sorry I missed it before. :)

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

6. These people really are nuts. Barking mad, they are.

You are supposed to kill your cat if it doesn't obey you. This little bit of lunacy is apparently a Jehovah's Witnesses thing, Check the main web site, it's the Watchtower, which is the JWs' nutjob publication.

[demnan]

10. does this mean

when these fucking idiots come to the door I can sic the cats on them?

[WoodrowFan]

15. no, because

no, because that would mean that your cats actually DID something when you told them too. There's a word for cats like that, they're called dogs. :P

[pansypoo53219]

11. jeez,

i was worried my sybil was just republican, now i guess she is just evil. or is that the same?

[meow2u3]

12. These Jehovah's Witnesses sure are wacky

Of course it's OK for Christians to have cats. God made the cat to teach the human a lesson in humility. As a matter of fact, if it weren't for the cat, we'd have another bubonic plague epidemic in proportions that killed 1/3 of the population of Europe back in the 14th century!

If they think cats are evil, that's because they're projecting their own evil onto the cat.

[demnan]

13. The plague was God's revenge on the people who hated cats

when they drove the cats out of towns in the Middle Ages, the rats over populated the place, spreading the black plague, among other things.

[Jeff in Cincinnati]

14. Somebody please tell me this is a parody...

"Additionally, cats practice many unclean habits not befitting a Christian household: coughing up fur balls, licking inappropriate body areas on their own bodies (inappropriate handling) and even, in some cases, on the bodies of their human owners (wrongful motive?), urination on the floor, vocal and blatant promiscuity (unknown to any other species, all others being endowed with Godly chastity and decorum) and widespread sexual misconduct without the benefit or sanctity of holy matrimony, even orgiastic practices, substance abuse of catnip (an intoxicating herb) which produces conditions akin to drunkenness, stealing food from the table, producing ungodly sounds, excessive playfulness and the employment of devices not known to have been used by Jesus, the conducting of its unholy business under the cover of the darkness of night, and so on. What sort of example does this give our young ones endeavoring to faithfully serve Jehovah? The Bible clearly shows that 'neither fornicators .. nor thieves .. nor drunkards .. nor revilers .. will inherit the Kingdom.' (1 Cor. 6:9-11)"

Blanant vocal promiscuity?
Sexual misconduct?
Orgiastic practices?
Substance abuse?

... and, of course, Exesssive Playfulness?!

[Schema Thing]

16. It's not just a parody, it's a *brilliant* parody

I was raised in that cult, and you would be amazed at how many of the things in that parody I could find a mirror of, on a slightly different (but not necessarilly more logical) subject in the pages of the Watchtower, or listening to one of their public talks.

The beauty of that parody, is that many JW's would have just as hard a time figuring out it was parody, as you did.

[Jeff in Cincinnati]

19. I feel so much better...

I went back to the home page and it appeared to be a straight-up JW document.

And it is brilliant -- somebody put a lot of time and effort into it.

[WoodrowFan]

20. same here

I looked at the homepage it it looked like a JW page to me. Especially since on a real Xtian RW siute I actually saw a woman ask if it was sinful to let her dog lick her face.

[Schema Thing]

17. It's parody, peeps

see my post #16

I think I even know the online personality who wrote it.

If you knew the reality, you'd know why the parody works so well. The reality is hardly better.

[realisticphish]

18. It's A FREAKING JOKE

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

it even uses BCE...do you REALLY think a Christian site would use BCE instead of BC?


:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[ComerPerro]

21. Conservatives say owning cats is evil

Conservatives say that cartoons are tools of the gay agenda that spread homosexual behavior to our children and turn them gay.

Conservatives say that Santa should be barred from Christmas, as should Christmas trees and the exchange of gifts.

Conservatives consider interracial dating to be immoral and unethical.

Conservatives support eugenics.

Conservatives insist on making Christianity the US' official religion.

Conservatives seek to establish dominionism.

Why does the media delight in highlighting every extreme position held by anyone on the left (even if its only one person) but in most cases ignore the right wing extremes.

I really wish pundits would start highlighting the extremes on the right, and then using them to paint the entire right wing with one broad brush.

They have been doing it to the left for years.