Booze rules

[MissMillie]

I like these.

http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/issues/01-02/01_02_booze_rules.htm

[On the Road]

1. Thanks -- I Would Have Missed These and All the Rest

44. Being drunk is feeling sophisticated without being able to say it.

69. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.

39. Never tip with coins that have touched you. If your change is $1.50, you can tell the barmaid to keep the change, but once she has handed it to you, you cannot give it back. To a bartender or cocktail waitress, small change has no value.

72. Never argue your tab at the end of the night. Remember, you're hammered and they’re sober. It's akin to a precocious five-year-old arguing the super-string theory with a physicist. 99.9% of the time you're wrong and either way you're going to come off as a jackass.

75. Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila makes you felonious.