Would you respond to an internet personals ad?

[JohnnyCougar]

I moved down to Chicago in the fall, and I need to meet some new people. I am kind of wary about personals, as I have never responded to one. I probably should, though...I hate trying to meet girls at bars.

Almost every girl I have dated has been a friend of a friend, or someone I've known a little bit beforehand. I probably should though...what the hell do I have to lose?

Anyways, what are others' stories about meeting people online?

[serryjw]

1. I'm 54 female....

Have been doing it on and off for 3 years. Have not had a bad experience. It's still a man's world. How old are you? Be very HONEST in your profile if you are really looking for a mate.

[JohnnyCougar]

3. I'm 24

I already was honest. The problem in these situations is I always expect myself to be perfect, and anyone I meet to be hyper-critical. I keep telling myself that the people on the other end are just average losers like myself, but it doesn't work.

[Bok_Tukalo]

6. I disagree

There always more males than females to go around in the Internet dating game.

[mhr]

2. No Harm, No Foul - As A Man, I Have Not Had A Bad Experience

Yet none of the introductions have lead to a relationship.

[Cadence]

4. I probably would. Not too terribly different from meeting any

other way. :shrug:

[sparky_in_ma]

5. Mixed reviews

It's a step above blind dates. You've usually got a basic idea of a person's like and dislikes, what they look like, and a general history. If you're interested, do a phone call first, and meet for coffee not dinner. Gives you both a chance to back out.

I've had pretty good luck.

[Lisa0825]

7. Ihave been on several dates from the net personals....

None turned into any big romace, but none were really bad either, and I am still friends with two of them after a couple years.

I think it's a great way to meet people, and I know several couples who met there and got married, including my brother (One and Only, I think), and a friend who has been filmed for Match.com commericals as a success story.

[hippiechick]

8. Have done it.

Some good, some bad. Some very, very bad. :scared:

Be honest, be careful, and don't give out too much of your personal info (last name, addy, phone #) until you're certain the person is legit.

If you do 'hit it off' with someone, arrange to meet at a neutral spot - coffee or something - the first couple times.

Good luck !

[Floogeldy]

9. Yes

If I were an axe murderer!

[JohnnyCougar]

11. Ahhhh!!!! Don't tell me those things!

[wellstone dem]

10. I know at least 3 couples

who met through internet dating. On the downside, my brother met someone who turned out to be a leech. But that was his own fault, I warned him, I really did. And he dated her for two years, so his downfall had more to do with him being a way toooooo nice and trusting guy than the internet. Can you tell I'm his older sister?

[JohnnyCougar]

13. haha...yeah

I'm not even thinking about getting married...I just kind of want to meet a girl. But I am nervous doing it on the internet. Sounds like nothing really bad has happened to anyone, though.

[swimmernsecretsea]

12. I have

...and it's been good so far. I haven't done it very often, I must admit, as I'm extremely cautious, and more than a little wary. I myself tend to only date people I've been well acquainted with. Currently, I'm using it to get to know more people, as I recently split up with my BF. I hadn't cultivated my own circle of friends very much and have been feeling a bit lonely. My plan is to get to know more people through meeting in online groups or activities, and go from there. I think that's better than seeking partners specifically, because then you've got the best of both worlds--an opportunity to meet someone in person, and through online means.

I'm sure others have given you advance methods of being careful; follow them. I don't have a list, or I'd post it. If anyone has one, it'd be a good idea. Simply using some common sense will be a great indicator of a dicey situation. I myself have had the dismaying experience of being lied to online, and have encountered someone who turned out to be married or in a relationship, more than once. There are web sites that will verify identities and screen out married people, so if you're very concerned, seek them out.

[JohnnyCougar]

14. I'm not that concerned I guess...

This is just the first time I'm doing anything like this, so I need reassurance.

Man...I'm starting to sound like a girl. :)

[FloridaPat]

15. I have two female friends that use it all the time. They are quite happy

with the results. I persoanlly am just not interested in meeting an idiot over the internet. I meet enough just going to work.

[Floogeldy]

16. ?

They ain't no dern confounded ijiots on the internets!

[Spider Jerusalem]

17. I have...

last time I did that it led to a 2-year relationship (ended badly, but...that's life)...

[sendero]

18. I met my wife online...

... and I have the best marriage EVER.

Before I met her, I met several women ranging from uninteresting to fantastic.

Meeting people online is no different than other ways IMHO. There is a right way and a wrong way to go about it. If you use common sense, it can be great.

Here are some quick tips from an expert (me):)

1. If someone's words in an email never strike you as interesting, you will probably not find them interesting in person either.

2. Never assume that anyone is going to give you an accurate portrayal of their physical self. Some because they are being deceptive, others because they are deluded.

3. Exchange email for a while to see if interest develops. At least 5-10 emails. Then move to the telephone. Have several long conversations. It will get interesting or it won't. If it doesn't move on.

4. Meet someone after you've developed interest via the phone and email. Things will either happen or they won't.

Anyway, I hear lots of people say that only unattractive or stupid people would meet up online. I can tell you with certainty, that is bullshit. :)

[JohnnyCougar]

19. Well, you guys convinced me.

As a guy, I'm less worried about meeting total psychopaths (although it's not out of the question). I hope I meet someone cool!