Am I being too sensitive? - follow up

[NewJeffCT]

I posted this thread yesterday http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=2550314&mesg_id=2550314

and got a surprising number of responses, though nobody responded to my initial follow up yesterday. So, here goes as its own thread, as I'm almost up to 5,000 posts now.

>>>I did follow-up with the person in HR in the hiring company. The headhunter is not affiliated with their company.

I should drop him a quick email, along the lines of:

"Chris - the last time I spoke with Joe at XYZ, I had mentioned to him that my wife would also need to find a job in the Richmond area. His initial suggestion was to suggest that my wife stay at home to be a housewife. I don't consider myself any sort of radical liberal (cough cough), but I was a bit taken aback by this suggestion, as my wife is very career-oriented. Joe had her resume and I would think it would have been obvious from just a quick glance. Would Joe have suggested I stay at home & be a house husband if he was helping my wife find a job? Will my wife be an odd woman in the neighborhoods of Chesterfield or elsewhere around Richmond if she does have a career outside the home?"

What do you think?

[MsAnthropy]

1. Do it! That guy has probably cost the company more good employees

besides you that they're not aware of.

[bleedingheart]

2. I like your response...do you think there is a good chance

that you will take this job?

To be honest if you wife is doing well...it would really suck for her to quit her job for you when that area may not be a "woman friendly" environment. It may be the headhunter but it also could be a more widespread problem in that area...also...is your wife behind the two of you moving? especially since she is doing so well???

[NewJeffCT]

7. well..

My wife is doing well where she works, but she despises her boss and he shot down the idea that she deserved a raise despite her moving from running part of a department and supervising 2 people to running a whole department and supervising 6 several months back (in addition, since my wife's boss travels at least 1-2 weeks a month, she has to take on many of his responsibilities while he's gone as well...)

My wife is pretty confident that she can find a job wherever she goes and she does not like the cold of Connecticut. She feels that this time in our lives is the best time to advance our careers (mid 30s to mid 40s) and that if something good comes up outside of Connecticut for either of us, we should jump at it - my wife was contacted about a job in Ohio a while back and we researched Ohio, but the job ended up falling through.

[tk2kewl]

3. I don't think I could move south of NYC.

I have friends in VA and family in NC and I am so uncomfortable going out and about when I visit them. I can deal with libertarians in the rockies, but I cant handle fundies.

[Worst Username Ever]

4. Change "radical liberal" to "I don't mean to be overly sensitive."

Anyone who claims to not be a radical liberal is either a complete rebublican or a radical liberal, neither of which is probably enjoyed by a prospective employer.

[NewJeffCT]

8. good idea

Thanks. I'm not that radical, though I do seem to come up to the left of Gandhi and Dr. King on those surveys.

[LiberalinNC]

5. I'd tell that guy to take his job and shove it, but that's me!

I am a stay at home mom, I know I'm lucky I can say that...now, first of all, you did the right thing telling the HR dept. about his comments, that will NOT go over well. Who the heck is he to tell your wife what to do!!!! BIG MISTAKE!

Second, I would have informed the guy that "unless you can help my wife, or my wife can find another job, we are not interested in moving to Virginia.

I live about 4 hours from Richmond, near Raleigh, NC. Many women stay at home around here, it is "the norm", BUT I know many mom's who work outside the home, NOT because they have too, but because they want too.

Do what's best for your family.

[Midlodemocrat]

6. As I mentioned yesterday

this area where I live is populated with transplants from NJ, NY, CT, MA, etc. I don't know one person who is from VA that lives here.

As a woman, I certainly don't feel that it is unfriendly, and I am a pretty assertive person.

Also, the people that have settled here tend to have advanced degrees some of the time, bachelor's most of the time.

It is a very service oriented place with lots of decent retail, good restaurants, excellent schools. I loved living in CT, but it is pretty nice here, too.

[DelawareValleyDem]

9. I definitely think you should notify HR

but I don't think it's necessary to detail why you were offended. That should be self-explanatory

[commander bunnypants]

10. nah

lots of carreer woman around here

keep me updated

CB

[LynneSin]

11. 2 Masters & 3 languages - yeah I see housewife in that career path....

NOT.....

But when you start heading south you'll find that the attitude is way different then what is typical of New England.

[NewJeffCT]

12. I know

I overachieved in the wife department.