Am I on the no-fly list .. and why? Not what you think.

[DemoTex]

I am not a clothes horse. I buy relatively cheap jeans on the internet and wear them out. However, I did develop a penchant for Calvin Kline boxer shorts when I was still flying. I would get stuck in DC for a couple of weeks at a time (when I was commuting from Dallas), run out of clean undies, and run over to Nordstrom's at Pentagon City for clean underwear. I'd buy the gray Calvin Kline knit boxer shorts (a compromise between tighty-whiteys and loosey-gooseys).

Last month I had a very embarrassing incident (like a Flannery O'Conner story). I went to Dallas (1000 miles) to see my good doctor for my annual physical. When I "dropped trousers" I felt a breeze on my butt. My undies were in tatters! Horror! What did he think of me then?

So, I recently ordered 10 pair of CK undies on the internet @ $195. I know, I know .. but I don't need that lecture tonight. I took a pair out of the box and tried it on. Perfect fit. I took the other nine pairs out of their boxes and threw them all in the washer.

Clean, new undies. Great! I put on the first pair this morning. Good fit! Nice bulge, etc.! Then I took my B/P meds, including a diuretic. Within an hour I had to pee. No problem-o. Oh no, big problem-o! The $19.95 Calvin Kline underwear had no fly! I mean, WTF? How am I supposed to get my Leanon-Portadine out to do it's Watson trick? This is total BS!

Dear reader, what should I do? Boo-hoo, boo-hoo.

[Bluebear]

1. I don't know, could you provide us a photo?

It's a start, we'll go from there.

[DemoTex]

7. What pose please?

My complaints are with the frontal aspects of this product, however the rear aspects do seem to enhance the, well, ass.

[madison2000]

2. I think we've all learned something about Calvin Klein tonight

a moment of silence please

[Skittles]

3. HA HA HA, oh LOL

MAC YOU ARE IN DIRE NEED OF A SKITTLES ASS-KICKING; next time you're in Dallas look me up, I will ALWAYS be able to accommodate you! :7

[DemoTex]

8. Should I wear my new underwear for my ass-kicking?

Important question, that. Maybe just a little spanking will do .. eh? Let's see .. I'll be back in Dallas in two weeks. Get your rack ready, Skitt.

[Skittles]

14. LOL

:hi:

[Catch22Dem]

4. $195 and NO FLY?

I suppose it would be kinda nasty to return them. HAHAHAHAHAHA :evilgrin:

[greatauntoftriplets]

5. LMAO....men's shorts without a fly???

I wonder why.....

[DemoTex]

10. Women must run the company.

Revenge. I now, too, have to sit down to pee. Bummer.

[greatauntoftriplets]

11. I was thinking that when I posted ....

but decided to bite my tongue, LOL.

[Toby109]

6. You sure you didn't order

the Eunuch Classic style?

:evilgrin:

[DemoTex]

9. Maybe they are panties!

Damn! I threw the boxes away. Shit-fire!

[Karenina]

13. C'mon DemoTex

:wtf: Please tell me you're pulling a...
OH NEVER MIND!!! SOMEBODY CALL CALVIN!!!!!

[DemoTex]

16. I ain't pulling nothing tonight! Nothing!

Between the Atenolol and Shiraz, there is nothing to pull. Believe me.

[Karenina]

17. WHAT DID THEY DO?

OUTSOURCE THIS SHIT? GET ME CALVIN ON THE LINE. PERSONALLY.
I MEAN NOW!

[short bus president]

12. got a pocket knife? cut yer own fly.

take the shorts off first, tho.

;-)

[miss_kitty]

15. yo