What The Super Bowl Teaches Us About Men Touching Men

[matcom]

<snip>

If you really want to know what happens at the bottom of a football pileup, look no further than "It's Raining Men," an article in last week's Sports Illustrated. Out of nine players asked to describe the scene, four made graphic references to a genital-grabbing free-for-all.

"Mike Vrabel had my testicles in his hand, and he was squeezing them," Philadelphia Eagles linebacker Ike Reese told the magazine, as if he were dictating a letter to Penthouse Forum. "Guys reach inside the face mask to gouge your eyes. But the biggest thing is the grabbing of the testicles. It's crazy."

There are many variables going into Sunday's Super Bowl game between the New England Patriots and the Eagles -- from Terrell Owens' injured ankle to the Patriots' depleted secondary to Donovan McNabb's ability to win the big game. But as long as 22 players take the field, a few things are sure: Buttocks will be enthusiastically patted, players will celebrate by jumping into each other's arms and even more men will dive on giant pileups and desperately grasp for each other's privates.

Looking at the entire year of television, is there a more homoerotic three hours than the Super Bowl? And with 100 million Americans set to watch this year's most celebrated display of hot man-on-man action, is there a better time to explore society's complex and outdated rulebook on male touching?

Take the endless hours a straight woman spends mentally planning her wedding, and multiply that by 10. That's how much time the heterosexual male devotes to worrying about touching other guys. No matter how disorganized the rest of our lives may be, men are constantly reorganizing the mental Rolodex that determines how much physical contact will be tolerated by each family member and friend -- all in an effort to avoid that dreaded awkward moment.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2005/02/03/DDGHFB40EC1.DTL

[tjwmason]

1. American football is rather like rugby

And there is 'good' reason that rugby players are frequently known as 'rugger-buggers'.

[Zuni]

2. Man I wonder what pro-wrestlers would be called

because if football is homoerotic, American pro-wrestling must be homomultiorgasmic!

[tjwmason]

6. Do you mean the stuff with acres of tight brightly coloured lyrca

How could you consider that to be gay at all?

[ScreamingMeemie]

3. Don't they cover their....ahem..."parts"with sports cups?

I thought that was standard practice. :shrug:

[realisticphish]

8. that's only if

they don't LIKE being grabbed


:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[arwalden]

4. I'm Getting Aroused.

[matcom]

7. i posted this JUST for you Allen

:loveya:

[arwalden]

19. I Kinda Had A Feeling...

... that might be the case. Thank you!

[ScreamingMeemie]

16. Meet the new starting left tackle for the Green Bay Packers...

Allen!!! ;) :hi:

[arwalden]

18. All I Want Is To Be The Locker Room Towel-Boy

and then I can die happy!

[Magrittes Pipe]

5. Somebody needs to post this on FR...

...with the subject "Football Is Gay."



Then watch them implode.

[realisticphish]

9. well think about it

a bunch of muscular guys wrestle around and get sweaty, smack eath other on the ass, and then go take a group shower


:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[Beer Snob-50]

10. grabbing ones testies during a football game

is not the same as grabbing ones testies in lets say a bar. when there is athletics and sweat involved (sweat from athletics) than it is acceptable. i read that article also and i don't find any homoerotic anything in football.

[realisticphish]

11. um

im gonna have to disagree. testicle grabbing ain't cool EVER...there is no reason to be doing that even in the heat of the moment

:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[Beer Snob-50]

12. fumble on the twenty yard line

30 seconds left in the game, my team is up by two, (yeah i would grab his testies to force him to drop the ball so I could get the fumble and win)

[realisticphish]

13. i dunno

"then i would grab his testicles" just doesn't sound like a phrase i would EVER use in a none life-death situation. oh well


:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[ScreamingMeemie]

17. You might want to rethink that statement...

It's not cool ever? Even with women, soft music and wine involved?? ;)

[realisticphish]

20. lol

but then, i'm not the one doing the grabbing... well, you know what i mean :)


:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[Zuni]

14. dude, tea baggin' is unacceptable in almost any situation

I'm sorry, the only good reason for a straight guy to grab another man's package is self defense

[Beer Snob-50]

15. or to win a big game!