Just For Fun. Any Movie Lines That Always Make You Laugh?

[MarianJack]

What movie lines can make you laugh even if you've seen the movie a million times? Whats the movie, the line and, if you remember, who says it?

Some of my favorites;

The Producers, "We find the defendants INCREDIBLY guilty!" (Bill Macy)

Robin Hood, Men in Tights, "We're either going to have a wedding or a hanging. Either way, we oughta have a lotta fun!"
(Richard Lewis)

Blazing Saddles, "You may be risking your lives, but I am risking an almost certain Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor!" (Harvey Korman, and he was nominated, too!)

Deliver Us From Eva, "She needs somebody to hit that ass until she speaks in tongues" (I don't remember the actor's name, but he plays the youngest Dandridge sister's husband)

Bringing Down the House (deleted scene on the DVD, so it might mot count), "OOOOH baby, in a minute it's gonna be RAININ' bitch slaps around here!" (Queen Latiah)

Shanghai Noon, "You just blew the shit out of our fruits, Roy" (The really psycho member of Owen Wilson's gang)

How about yours?

[CatWoman]

1. The cat in "The Last Unicorn"

*P-u-r-r-r-r-r-r-r*

*Do that!!! DO THAT!!!*

(he was being petted) :D

[AllyCat]

146. "Ah, yes, that be...nice!"

It's so...so...CAT!

[AllyCat]

147. Careful, man! I got a beverage here!

Jeff Lebowski in the Big Lebowski, when someone pushes him into the back of a limo and nearly spills his White Russian.

[AlCzervik]

2. "He hates these cans!!!"

"Lord loves a working man, don't trust whitey" both from The Jerk

[meegbear]

3. STAY AWAY FROM THE CANS!!

I love that!

[Mad_Dem_X]

35. "You mean, I'm gonna stay this color?!"

"There are SNAILS on her food!"

Lots of great lines in that movie.

[RadicalMom]

164. "I found my Special Purpose!"

[terrya]

4. From "Airplane!"

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue" - Lloyd Bridges REALLY wigging out before the plane lands. :-)

[MarianJack]

16. YES!!!

Also, "Thats when my drinking problem started!"

[DrWeird]

5. From Pee Wee's Big Adventure:

"IS THERE SOMETHING YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE REST OF US, AMAZING LARRY?!"

[Seabiscuit]

161. W.C. Fields: out-take from one of his films (you can google it yourselves)

W.C. Fields is sitting at a bar stoned drunk, and asks the bartender for another one of his drinks. The bartender tells him he's had too much to drink already, but rather than kick him out, tells him he can give him a glass of water.

W.C. Fields replies: "Water? I never drink water! Fish fuck in it!"

Typical of his improvisations, and typical that the producers cut the scene.

[dean_dem]

6. Zamir in Office Space:

"Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to God one day I am going to kill this piece of shit!"

That movie had a lot of those lines actually: "PC Load letter? What the fuck does that mean?"

[Richardo]

14. Also from Samir: "This is a FUCK!!"

Always cracks me up.

[jus_the_facts]

27. "Mr. Na....Na...Naga....Not gonna work here anymore!" 1 of the 2 Bobs....

:7

[ComerPerro]

102. "You see Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care. "

[msanthrope]

142. "Gonna show her my O face! O, O, O" n/t

[msgadget]

7. In "The Long Kiss Goodnight",

After surviving hell, Samuel L. Jackson asks Geena Davis if she's okay and she says, "What are you...stupid?"

I feel that way a lot when people ask me things.

[MarianJack]

23. Also in "The Long Kiss Goodnight"

"You saw her tits, what a wonderful moment for both of you"

and

"That dog has been licking it's asshole for 3 straight hours. May I submit that whatever it's after is either gone for good or there to stay!"

[msgadget]

55. Yes, yes!

Great lines in that movie! :bounce:

[grace0418]

82. My brother was in that movie!

He played Gina's husband (or was it boyfriend?)

[msgadget]

155. He was the fiance!

A great guy who waited home while the woman went out and dealt with the bad guys. :)

[BOSSHOG]

8. "I don't know what scruples are

but I know if you got em, you stole them from somebody else." Little Addie Pray talking to her "dad" Mose in Paper Moon

[MarianJack]

28. There's Also...

"I want my MONEY!!!"

"But I don't have it"

"Then you GIT IT!"

and

"This little girls got to go winkie tink, daddy"

[mr blur]

9. Also from Airplane:

"We've got to get her to a hospital!"
"A hospital? What is it?!"
"It's a big building with patients - but that's not important now!"

Also:
"Surely you can't be serious?"
"I am serious - and don't call me Shirley!"

[NewJeffCT]

those lines

Those lines are originally from the TV show "Police Squad" starring Leslie Nielson & OJ Simpson... it was great for its 6 episode run and later inspired the Naked Gun movies.

[BOSSHOG]

10. "Let ole Trixie and her two big ones sit up front"

Miss Trixie Delight in Paper Moon

"I tried to push her out a window in Little Rock once." Miss Trixies assistant talking to Addie Pray while plotting to get away from Miss Trixie.

[XNASA]

11. "Kato....

This iz your employer speaking. I am calling off the attack!!!!"

Or...

"You'll catch your death of cold."
Clouseau: "Yes, yes I probably will but... its all part of life's rich pagentry you kneau."

[Richardo]

18. An REM album title is born...

literally. They took it from "A Shot in the Dark"

[Crankie Avalon]

12. "Home?...

...I have no home. Hunted. Despised. Living like an animal. The jungle is my home! But I shall show the vorld that I can be its master. I shall perfect my own race of people! A race of atomic supermen that vill conquer the vorld!!!"

[Lautremont]

17. Do you prefer it from Ed Wood or from its original source,

Bride of the Monster?

[Crankie Avalon]

39. I have to admit I've never seen Bride of the Monster...

...so I have no way to compare. I loved it both times it was said in Ed Wood, though.

[Lautremont]

45. And don't forget:

"Now go through that door! You've got to get through that door!"

And,

"You're upset... no, not that upset!"

[BOSSHOG]

13. The new Phone Books are here

THINGS ARE GOING TO START HAPPENING TO ME NOW.

Navin Johnson (Steve Martin) from the Jerk.

[Lautremont]

15. "Driving with a load not properly tied down?"

from The Sure Thing.

[Lavender Brown]

25. lol

:thumbsup:

[BlondieK143]

19. "YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!"

Plains, Trains, and Automobiles. :D

[terrya]

24. And, of course, from the same movie:

"Those aren't....PILLOWS!!!!"

:-)

[jus_the_facts]

20. ".....Let us praise God....." from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life....

Oh Lord...
ooh you are so big...
So ab - solutely huge.

Gosh, we're all really impressed down here I can tell
you.

Forgive Us, O Lord, for this dreadful toadying.

And barefaced flattery.

But you are so strong and, well, just so super.

Fan - tastic.

AMEN! :evilgrin:

[BOSSHOG]

21. "After you get done playing around of golf on it

you can roll it up and smoke it." Karl Spackler, assistant grounds keeper telling Tye about his Grass from Caddyshack.

[ScreamingMeemie]

22. Steel Magnolias...

"You know what they say: 'If you don't have anything nice to say about someone, come sit by me!'"

Stripes:

(I love this line)"My freinds back home used to call me 'Cruiser' 'cause I like fast cars and fast women." "They should have called you 'dork'."

Pretty in Pink

"Blaine? His name is Blaine? That's not a name, that's an appliance."

[MarianJack]

33. In Stripes,...

...I always laugh at Warren Oates' "I'm gettin' too old for THIS SHIT!!!"

[Richardo]

40. "Lighten up, Francis"

Warren could deliver a line.

[ComerPerro]

105. Stripes: "Are you homosexual?" "No, but we're willing to learn"

[Richardo]

26. "They have to paint me red before they sacrifice me...

...their religion is different from ours. I think."

Ringo Starr in "Help!"

[Richardo]

29. "Don't take that tone with me young man. I fought the war for your sort."

Ringo: I bet you're sorry you won.

(A Hard Day's Night)

[Mad_Dem_X]

56. "I shall call the guard!"

Paul: "Ah, but what? They don't take kindly to insults, you know."

Also from AHDN:

George: "A grown man, and you haven't shaved with a safety razor."
Shake: "I come from a long line of electricians."

[Richardo]

64. "I thought I was supposed to be getting a change of scenery.

But so far I've been in a train and a room, a car and a room, and a room and a room."

(Paul's Grandfather)

[dean_dem]

30. Better Off Dead:

"That's just a damn shame, throwin' out a perfectly good white boy like that."

[billyskank]

31. I seen a coupla quotes from Airplane! but you've missed the daddy:

"I haven't felt this bad since we saw that Ronald Reagan movie!"

[billyskank]

41. "And what about the time

we jumped into the family car, and drove down to Woodstock?"

"Oh that was a time. And you got hold of that bad acid; you didn't come down for two weeks! You kept telling everyone that you were Jesus Christ, and then you jumped off that roof 'cause you thought you could fly!"

"What a bummer!"

"No shit!"

[MarianJack]

42. Another Line That Goes With a ronald reagan Movie...

..."What a PISSER"

[billyskank]

126. "He's all over the place!

Five thousand feet, ten thousand feet. What an asshole!"

[DeaconBlues]

32. "Where the white women at?!"

Cleavon Little as the black sheriff speaking to a pair of Klansmen in Blazing Saddles

[driver8]

156. That is a classic line. I crack up everytime I hear it!! n/t

[everythingsxen]

34. I see your funny and counter with....

The Producers, "Hitler... there was a painter! He could paint an entire apartment in ONE afternoon! TWO coats!" (Kenneth Mars)

Robin Hood, Men in Tights, "So, it's come to this has it? A duel to the death: man to man, mano a mano! Just you, me, and my... GUARDS!!!!!!"(Roger Rees)

Blazing Saddles, Hedley Lamar: "Qualifications?" (Harvey Korman)
Unnamed cowboy: "Rape, murder, arson and rape."
Hedley: "You said rape twice."
Cowboy: "I know, I like rape."

Spaceballs,
Dark Helmet: Careful you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!
Laser Gunner: Sorry sir! I'm doing my best!
Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?
Major: I did sir. He's my cousin.
Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?
Colonel Sandurz: That is his name sir. Asshole, Major Asshole!
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Philip Asshole!
Dark Helmet: How many assholes do we have on this ship, anyway?

Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!
Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes!

Dark Helmet: Keep firing, assholes!

And basically almost every other line from the above named films.

Plus Airplane 2 the Sequel.

[electricmonk]

72. My fave from Airplane 2

William Shatner: "What the hell is a man doing with a bobby pin?" There are probably funnier lines in the movie but the delivery, timing and facial expressions by Shatner were priceless.

[everythingsxen]

182. Yeah. Airplane 2 is the ultimate level of Shatner funny.

I dream of casting a movie with Shatner, Cristopher Walken and several other actors. It would be a totally serious movie but would be hailed as the greatest comedy of all time.

I can dream. :D

[fit4life]

36. Bernadette Peters in Pink Cadillac

A guy in a trench coat flashes her and asks her what she thinks. She replies "It looks like a penis only smaller."

One of the funniest lines I ever heard.

Also, the entire office scene with Ms. Ballbricker in "Porky's"

[Midlodemocrat]

37. Ghostbusters

"Now there is something you don't see every day"

[billyskank]

44. "You know, Egon,

this reminds me of that time you tried to drill a hole through your head!"

"That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me."

[Midlodemocrat]

46. And the line where

Bill Murray says something along the lines of "you have a great career in front of you in the retail or housekeeping industries" to the Annie Potts character.

I think that damn movie is soooo funny.

[barb162]

83. or when Murray said "It slimed me" and he had that slimy crap

all over his hair, face, chest, etc

[Midlodemocrat]

What are your hobbies?

"I collect spores, molds and fungus".

I think Ghostbusters and Stripes are about the funniest movies ever made.

[barb162]

127. yes, they are, many funny lines. Also, Animal House

One of the things in Ghostbusters I loved was the scene where Rick Moranis is in front of Tavern on the Green screaming with that dog-like creature after him. And the people in the restaurant look about 3 seconds and then go right back to eating. It was brilliantly done.

[Midlodemocrat]

130. That scene still makes me laugh.

As a matter of fact, I am laughing now.

[barb162]

133. great minds think alike

[Richardo]

51. "Where do these stairs go?"

"They go up!"

[NewJeffCT]

58. that one always gets me

so many good lines in that movie.

[kmla]

91. Also from GhostBusters....

"... tell' em about the Twinkie, Ray."

"What Twinkie?"

[ComerPerro]

103. When someone asks if you are a God, SAY YES!!!!!

"Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back."

"It's true, Your Honor. This man has no dick."

"I looked at the trap, Ray."

"Sorry, Venkman, I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought."

"Gozer the Gozerian: good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activities and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension."

[Burma Jones]

38. Mine - You Fish Faced Enemy of the People

The Producers: You Fish Faced Enemy of the People (Bialystock to Bloom)

A Night at the Opera: Boogie Boogie Boogie (Groucho, during an Aria from Il Trovatore)

Animal Crackers: Pardon me while I have a strange interlude...why, you couple of baboons!...what makes you think I'd marry either one of you!...strange how the wind blows tonight...it has a tintity voice, reminds me of poor old Moslin...how happy I could be with either of these two if both of them just went away... (Groucho spoofing Eugene O'Neill)

Ten Commandments: Bathe Her in Scented Oils (Vincent Price)

Blazing Saddles: You use your tounge prettier than a ten dollar whore (The Inimitable Slim Pickens)

Dr. Strangelove: You can't fight in here, this is the War Room (President Muffley)

Dr. Strangelove: Bat Guano, if that IS your real name
(mandrake)

MP and the Holy Grail: He must be a King. Why do you say that? 'Cause he hasn't got Shit all over him.

[MarianJack]

50. More Slim Pickens...

Awww shit, somebody go back an' get a shitload of dimes.

[bugslsu9]

43. Space Balls

"Out of order? Fuck, even in the future nothing works!"
Rick Moranis (sp?)

[stlchic]

73. Same movie, different line for me...

"What't the matter Colonel Sanders....CHICKEN?"

Yeah, it's an awful pun, but I always crack up when I hear it...

[everythingsxen]

47. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.
Cleric: And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.

[Burma Jones]

54. So Many in that one

like:

"You're a busy man." - King Arthur to the Sorcerer Tim

"Of Course It's a Good Idea" - God to Arthur

"I got better" - The person formerly a newt

"Your Father was a Hamster and your Mother smelt of Elderberries"

"After the spankings, the Oral Sex"

"What, the Curtains?"

[Donailin]

135. LOL!

KEEPER: Stop! What is your name?
GALAHAD: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
KEEPER: What is your quest?
GALAHAD: I seek the Grail.
KEEPER: What is your favorite color?
GALAHAD: Blue. No yel-- Auuuuuuuugh!

[driver8]

157. That movie full of classic lines!!

The "Holy Hand Grenade" has always been one of my favorites.

[Mad_Dem_X]

48. From Tootsie

"A guy named Les is sending you candy?"

"Why is he thanking you for a lovely night in front of the fire?"

(both Teri Garr)

[Richardo]

52. Bill Murray: "Mom?"

[MarianJack]

60. In "Tootsie"...

...I loved when Dustin Hoffman calls Dabney Coleman a "Macho shithaid!"

[Darknyte7]

49. "Leave the gun. Take thae Cannoli."

Clemenza to Rocco
The Godfather (1972)

[MarianJack]

53. In The Gangster Mode,...

..."Make that coffee to go!" Joe Pesci in Goodfellas

[Darknyte7]

63. "First, you've got to show me the money"

Jerry McGuire

[MarianJack]

67. Another Jerry McGuire!

"I shoplifetd the Pooty"

[Burma Jones]

57. Fat, Drunk and Stupid is no way to go through life, Son.....n/t

[Lautremont]

71. Dean Wormer just died today

R.I.P. John Vernon, a fine Canadian actor.

[WoodrowFan]

166. Face it Flounder, you threw up ON the Dean. (NT)

[meisje]

59. So I says, Hey Lama, How about a little somethin fer the effort, ya know

The Lama says.. You'll receive nothing now, but when you die, on your deathbed, you'll receive total conciseness. So I got that goin fer me, Which is nice!

[NewJeffCT]

61. You must've been something before electricity

caddyshack...

[NewJeffCT]

62. I bet if you buy that hat, you get a free bowl of soup

Oh, looks good on you, though.

[meisje]

65. The crowdis just standing on its feet here at Augusta, The normally

reserved Augusta crowd... going wild!

[AmandaRuth]

66. I'm not dead yet - Holy Grail

I'd talk to you, but I have to go sit in the lobby and wait for the limo - Spinal Tap

And about every other line from both of those movies.

[Darknyte7]

68. "Can I borrow your underpants for ten minutes?"

Sixteen Candles

[MarianJack]

140. "Let Him Know Who Wears the Pants!"

BTW, great sig line

[Beer Snob-50]

69. was it over when the germans bombed pearl harbor?

the germans?
don't worry, he's on a roll!

[CJCRANE]

79. Yeah, just about

anything John Belushi said in Animal House.

E.g:
"You fxcked up - you trusted us!"
"I suggest you start drinking heavily" ( both to Pinto after they've trashed his uncles car).

Also, the classic line at the freeper-type frathouse initiation:
WHACK!
"Please sir may I have another".

[Beer Snob-50]

85. I agree with the drinking line!

I also love when he was checking out the girls in the sorority house.

[Darknyte7]

70. From "Old School" (2003)

Spanish: Damn, I don't wanna end up workin' at Red Lobster!
Frat Brother: You already work at Red Lobster.
Spanish: Yea, well its part time...dick.

[Darknyte7]

75. This one is my second favorite from "Old School"

Therapist: Frank, this is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my office as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding. We can say anything here.

Frank: Anything? Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think well maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling.....what? what I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not?

[Darknyte7]

77. This one is also from "Old School"

Mitch Martin: True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...

[Darknyte7]

81. Last one...

Frank: I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight. Besides, I got a big day tomorrow. You guys have a great time.
College Student: A big day? Doing what?
Frank: Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.

[ceile]

74. 2 lines

Ghostbusters "Yes, it's true sir....this man has no dick. Well, that's what I heard!" Bill Murray

Jumpin' Jack Flash "You think there's a lot of work down there (under a pier) for hookers? You think I'm giving blowjobs to goldfish?" OR "I'm a little blck woman in a big silver box."

[flvegan]

76. "No more yanky my wanky. Donger need food!"

From Sixteen Candles.

[stlchic]

78. Some goodies from "A Fish Called Wanda"

"DISAPPOINTED!"

"You're the vulgarian, you f*ck! Now apologize!"

"Okay...I'M SORRY I ATE YOUR FISH..." (not funny in and of itself, but I love the way it's delivered.)

[Donailin]

137. K. K K Ken is coming to K K K Kill me!

also, " I love that man! Don't touch him, he's mine!"

On occasion I have done that to my teenage sons when I drop them off at school in the morning, especially when there's a group of pretty girls lingering by. just to break their chops. heh.

[barb162]

80. Blazing Saddles: "It's twoo, it's twoo" Madaleine Kahn on "is it true

what they say about black men"

[stlchic]

84. "Mawadge is wot bwings us togevar todaaaaay..."

and so many others from the Princess Bride.

[NewJeffCT]

93. Never go in against a Sicilian when Death is on the line...

GAK!

[stlchic]

97. "Ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?'

"Yes."


"Morons."


:-)

[NewJeffCT]

104. Truly you have a dizzying intellect

just wait!

Man, I can't even remember all the dialogue there Vizzini went so quickly.

[Darknyte7]

86. Quotes from "Half Baked" (1998)

Thurgood Jenkins: You have smoked yourself retarded.

[Darknyte7]

87. Also from "Half Baked"

Brian: First of all to understand what happened to killer, you gotta understand who killer the dog was. Now killer was born to a three-legged bitch of a mother. He was always ashamed of this, man. And then right after that he's adopted by this man, Tito Liebowitz he's a small time gun runner and a rotweiler fight promoter. So he puts killer into training. They see killer's good. He is damn good. But then he had the fight of his life. They pit him against his brother nibbles. And killer said "no man that's my brother, I can't fight nibbles" but they made him fight anyway, and killer, he killed nibbles. Killer said "that's it!" he called off all his fights, and he started doing crack, and he freaked out. Then in a rage, he collapsed, and his heart no longer beat. wow.

Thurgood Jenkins: You know uh, I never thought I'd say this to anybody, but you two smoke entirely too much reefer.

[grace0418]

88. "You got any funny-shaped balloons?"...

"Not unless round's funny." Raising Arizona

"Most of the time I slap it!" Some Like it Hot

[SiouxJ]

117. Good one!

I had forgotten that one. I love the simple lines the best.

[Dan-W]

89. Frau Bleucher in "Young Frankenstein".

"Stay close to the candles. The staircase CAN be treacherous."

[MarianJack]

141. Also Frau Blucher (NEIGH),...

"Your fiance will be here any minute. I'd suggest you put on a tie!"

BTW, What hump?

[grace0418]

90. Just about every line in Office Space

"Looks like somebody's got a case of the Mondays!"

"I wouldn't say I've been missing work, Bob"

"Peterrrr... what'sss happening. I'm going to need you to go ahead and..."

"This is a suck!"

[grace0418]

92. Just about every line in Best in Show

"What are you a wizard, a genius?!"

"Harlan Pepper, if you don't stop namin' nuts!"

"We both love soup and snow peas..."

[maveric]

94. "You'll get nothing and like it". Judge Smails to Spaulding.

From Balzing Saddles:
Bart: "What things do you like to do?"
Waco Kid: "Oh, play chess...screw..."
Bart: "Lets play chess".

[RedSpartan]

108. My favorite from Blazing Saddles

is when all the cons are lining up and giving their credentials (something like):

"And what are your qualifications?"

"Rape, arson, murder, and rape."

"You said rape twice."

"I like rape."

"Charming. Sign here."

[ET Awful]

95. You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means

"Humperdink. Humperdink! Humperdink!"

"Mawidge...mawidge is what bwings us togewer today. Mawidge, the bwessed awwangement, that dweam wiffim a dweam."

[SiouxJ]

96. Every time someone I know says, "inconceivable"

I think of that line and sometimes I'll tell them I don't think they know what that word means. Sometimes they get it an sometimes they don't, but I can't resist ;-) .

[Connie_Corleone]

98. "PANCAKES! PANCAKES! PANCAKES!"

From the movie "Cabin Fever"

[SiouxJ]

99. "Pirate" (Johnny Depp)

In response to, "you cheated."

(from Pirates of the Caribbean)

His delivery is what gets me.

[ComerPerro]

106. Yeah, that had me cracking up

His delivery was great.

[Lautremont]

112. I know exactly what you mean!

I laughed, my wife looked at me strangely, I replayed it for her and she shrugged. Thought I was the only one to find it hilarious.

[SiouxJ]

114. You know what that means don't you?

You and I have the same sense of humor! :yourock:

Oh and so does ComerPerro ;-) .

My friends never seem to find it as funny as I do either. It just kills me!

[ET Awful]

139. I still love the exchange "You're the worst pirate I've ever heard of"

"But you HAVE heard of me." :)

[MindPilot]

100. Super Troopers

"Spread it on!"

"Hell, for a twenty I'll call him chicken fucker!"

"littering annnd..."

[Danmel]

101. From Moonstruck

When the aunt answers the door neat the very end of the movie, twiddles her thumbs and says in a song song voice:

It's Johnny Cammer-reri!

[Donailin]

134. "I lost my hand, I lost my girl! Johnny has his hand, Johnny has his girl,

want me to take my heartbreak, put it on a shelf and fuggetaboutit?!"

I love that movie. Nick Cage is hilarious.

[grace0418]

138. Definitely in my top 5 favorite movies ever

"somebody tell a joke!"

[driver8]

158. "I ain't no friggin monument to justice!" n/t

[ellie]

107. From Bad Santa

The Billy Bob Thornton character is talking to his partner (I'm paraphrasing):

"I beat up a kid today. It felt good. Like I was turning a corner or something."

From Dead Man On Campus (I don't remember the characters' names):
"They think we are making out back here!"
"I know, they are so clueless."

"They hate it when you do this!" Takes gun out of glovebox and starts shooting at the cops chasing them.

"This is what we were working for: Pickles. Dead."

[HalfManHalfBiscuit]

136. Bad Santa

Gin: You got some lip on you midget.

Marcus: yeah? Well these lips were on your wife's pussy last night. Why don't you dust that thing off once in a while? Asshole!

[ComerPerro]

109. The Protestant man in The Meaning of Life

MR. HARRY BLACKITT:
Look at them, bloody Catholics, filling the bloody world up with bloody people they can't afford to bloody feed.
MRS. BLACKITT:
What are we dear?
MR. BLACKITT:
Protestant, and fiercely proud of it.
MRS. BLACKITT:
Hmm. Well, why do they have so many children?
MR. BLACKITT:
Because... every time they have sexual intercourse, they have to have a baby.
MRS. BLACKITT:
But it's the same with us, Harry.
MR. BLACKITT:
What do you mean?
MRS. BLACKITT:
Well, I mean, we've got two children, and we've had sexual intercourse twice.
MR. BLACKITT:
That's not the point. We could have it any time we wanted.
MRS. BLACKITT:
Really?
MR. BLACKITT:
Oh, yes, and, what's more, because we don't believe in all that Papist claptrap, we can take precautions.
MRS. BLACKITT:
What, you mean... lock the door?
MR. BLACKITT:
No, no. I mean, because we are members of the Protestant Reformed Church, which successfully challenged the autocratic power of the Papacy in the mid-sixteenth century, we can wear little rubber devices to prevent issue.
MRS. BLACKITT:
What d'you mean?
MR. BLACKITT:
I could, if I wanted, have sexual intercourse with you,...
MRS. BLACKITT:
Oh, yes, Harry.
MR. BLACKITT:
...and, by wearing a rubber sheath over my old feller, I could insure... that, when I came off, you would not be impregnated.
MRS. BLACKITT:
Ooh!
MR. BLACKITT:
That's what being a Protestant's all about. That's why it's the church for me. That's why it's the church for anyone who respects the individual and the individual's right to decide for him or herself. When Martin Luther nailed his protest up to the church door in fifteen-seventeen, he may not have realised the full significance of what he was doing, but four hundred years later, thanks to him, my dear, I can wear whatever I want on my John Thomas,... ...and, Protestantism doesn't stop at the simple condom! Oh, no! I can wear French Ticklers if I want.
MRS. BLACKITT:
You what?
MR. BLACKITT:
French Ticklers. Black Mambos. Crocodile Ribs. Sheaths that are designed not only to protect, but also to enhance the stimulation of sexual congress.
MRS. BLACKITT:
Have you got one?
MR. BLACKITT:
Have I got one? Uh, well, no, but I can go down the road any time I want and walk into Harry's and hold my head up high and say in a loud, steady voice, 'Harry, I want you to sell me a condom. In fact, today, I think I'll have a French Tickler, for I am a Protestant.'
MRS. BLACKITT:
Well, why don't you?
MR. BLACKITT:
But they-- Well, they cannot, 'cause their church never made the great leap out of the Middle Ages and the domination of alien episcopal supremacy.

[ComerPerro]

111. same movie: "What's wrong with a kiss, boy?"

"Hmm? Why not start her off with
a nice kiss? You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like
a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy."

[MarianJack]

170. My Wife...

...almost peed herself when I read this to her! :hi:

[RedSpartan]

110. Dumb and Dumber

When the cop drinks the piss from the beer bottle and is hacking and wheezing next to the car, you hear Jim Carrey in the background:

"Tic tac, sir?"

Gets me every time.

[loudestchick]

113. Running Scared: " Ok, I'm going to shoot a bunch of holes in this door

and if you're standing behind it, some of those holes are going to be in YOU." "Oh no! I used to inform for for Hughes and Costanza, but they don't pay me no more...the answer is Deuteronomy!"

[Lautremont]

118. Slight expansion: "I'm just watchin' the new Jeopardy,

and a man missed a bible question because he did not know what Deuteronomy was! Mama! Mama! Can I have some more petite marshmallows for my hot cocoa?"

[loudestchick]

119. I love Billy Crystal.

[loudestchick]

115. Steel Magnolias: "You know I love you more'n my luggage."

"All gay men have tract lightin' and all gay men are named Tom, Rick or Steve."

"Why? Don't ask me why? Because I'm an old southern woman, I'm supposed to wear funny hats and grow things in the dirt..BELCH!"

"Don't expect to find me at one of those tent revivals of yours. You'd probably make me bite the head off a live chicken." "Not on your first time."

[Jeff in Cincinnati]

116. Not a line, per se...

but in Blazing Saddles when the cowboys are sitting around the campfire eating beans. It just goes on forever and gets funnier and funnier.

[MarianJack]

143. My Wife Likes It...

...but says its gross.

When my mother saw that movie,way back in 1974, she almost fainted at that scene!

[Jeff in Cincinnati]

175. Read an interview with Mel Brooks...

year ago. He said that he wrote the original script with just one fart, but that didn't seem funny enough.

[SiouxJ]

120. "Do you always talk in bumper stickers?"

from "Postcards from the Edge." I don't know why but I never get tired of that movie and I catch a new line every time I see it. Normally I can't stand that type of film either. It's just very smartly written.

[Cadence]

121. Way to go Focker!

[mojaverose]

122. From ConAir

"Put the bunne down": Nicolas Cage's character.

From Desk Set: Spencer Tracy, in answer to Christmas question about Santa's Reindeer "Uh, Comet, Cupid, uh, Sneezy, Dopey..."

Several more, but can't think of any new ones right now.

Oh, although he never spoke, Buster Keaton - anything. Every time I watch him I say "This time I won't laugh". I always wind up ROFL

[mojaverose]

123. Oh, And

Can't remember the name of the movie, but a judge says to May West "Young woman are you showing contempt for this court!?" She replies, "No, judge, I'm doing my best to hide it."

[MarianJack]

145. Also ConAir...

"The true definition of irony. A bunch of idiots on a plane dancing to a song from a group that died in an airplane crash."

[Merrick]

124. From Airplane!

Old lady to her husband as the symptoms of the tainted fish start to kick in: "Oh... its my stomach. I haven't felt this awful since we saw that Ronald Reagan film"

[billyskank]

128. Cut me some slack, Jack!

Chump don't want no help, chump don't get no help! Jive-ass dude don't got no brains anyhow!

[billyskank]

125. From Airplane 2:

"Get me McCrosky!"

"McCrosky? Ever since Reagan fired the air traffic controllers he's been completely senile!"

"Yeah, but what about McCrosky!"

[magnolia]

129. Steel Magnolias

Darryl Hannah to Dolly Parton...with a strong southern twang:

"My personal tragedies will not effect my ability to do good hair."

I love that!!!

[libnnc]

131. "So, you're going to the cemetery with your toothbrush..."

"...how 'Egyptian'."

Robin Williams to Nathan Lane in "Birdcage"



...I giggle every time.

[Donailin]

132. "Hooray for Brave Sir Robin, who bravely ran away!"

and just about every other line in that movie, Holy Grail. Actually all Python is hilarious.

[Andy_Stephenson]

144. Valley of the Dolls

Nealy Ohara: Ted Casablanca is not a fag...and I'm the dame that can prove it.

[yellowdogintexas]

148. Norma to Toddy (Robert Preston) in Victor Victoria:

"I just love French Men"

Toddy: "So do I, So do I"


to Julie Andrews: "You are worried about posing as a man when three hours ago you were about to sell your virtue for a meatball!"

Norma to Victoria (as Victor) when Victor is slowly undressing in front of her "Wait, What are you doin, wait...wait... (whisper) lock the door.

Then the blood curdling scream.


and the classic: from Court Jester

"The vessel with the pestle has the pellet with the poison, the chalice with the palace has the brew that is true"

[MarianJack]

168. Also Victor/Victoria

"Have you ever been in the Army?" (I think John Rhys Davies)

"Once or twice" (Robert Preston)

[guitar man]

149. "Are you the police"

"No ma'am, we're musicians"

[guitar man]

150. "One unused prophylactic....

one soiled."

[Hans Delbrook]

151. It's gotta be obvious - Young Frankenstein

"..Hans Delbruck, scientist and saint." (Maybe ya' have to be a scientist to have that one crack you up.)

Time Bandits:
Robin Hood: Well never mind, cheerio! Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you very, very, very much. What awful people.

Arsenic and Old Lace
Mortimer Brewster: Aunt Abby, how can I believe you? There are twelve bodies in the cellar and you admit you poisoned them.
Aunt Abby Brewster: Yes, I did. But you don't think I'd stoop to telling a fib.

High Fidelity
Rob: Why'd you have to tell her about the store?
Barry: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know it was classified information. I mean, I know we don't have any customers, but I thought that was a bad thing, not like, a business strategy!

[6000eliot]

152. Yes! Yes! YES!

He vas my BOYFRIEND!

[Groggy]

153. "You a pot head Focker?

Robert DeNiro to Ben Stiller..in Meet the Parents. I love that line..I don't know why!! :P

[nytemare]

154. "ALLRIGHT, I AM the Messiah! Now, Piss off!"

Monty Python, Life of Brian.

[Hardrada]

159. "Not the way I play it."

W.C. Fields in the movie Mississippi when asked (as he was dealing cards for a poker game, "Is this a game of chance?"

Also the whole scene in Duck Soup with the Marx Brothers singing the Fredonian Going to Battle Song, incorporating various musical styles and ridiculing patriotic war fervor.

[nytemare]

179. Ahh so you like the classics!

I must admit I love the old Laurel and Hardy movies. :)

[Richardo]

180. Telephone rings. Stan picks it up and listens....

Stan (on telephone): "It certainly is." Hangs up.

Ollie: "What was THAT about?"

Stan: "She said it was long distance from Atlanta."

LOVE laurel and Hardy! :thumbsup:

[MarianJack]

183. "The Music Box"!

Guaranteed heart failure, but what a way to go!

[alittlelark]

160. "If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball"

'Dodgeball' - the kids and I crack up on that and the 'Dodge a car...' line every time.

[borlis]

162. Funny how? Like a clown funny? from Goodfellas

My favorite movie.


Also "It's not over till we say it is." John Belushi in Animal House. Truly a classic.

[RadicalMom]

163. Marty Feldman in "Young Frankenstein,"...

"Abbie Someone,....Abbie,..Normal."

Damn your eyes! "Too Late!"

Take the bags. "You take the blonde, I'll take the one in the turban!"

Marty left the world much too soon.

[MarianJack]

169. MUCH, MUCH TOO SOON!!!

How about the bit in "Sherlock Holms' Smarter Brother" when He & Gene Wilder's tux backs are cut off and they are waltzing with their bare asses out?

[RadicalMom]

185. I've never seen that! There is a lovely scene in "Bringing Up

Baby." Katherine Hepburn and Carey Grant, with Cary holding his hat clamped over Katherine's backside, when she lost the back of her dress. It's like ballet!

[KitchenWitch]

165. "I crap bigger than you!"

Jack Palance in City Slickers

[MarianJack]

171. "Did you kill anybody today?"

"Not yet!"

[NewHampshireDem]

167. L,S,2SB: "They're armed." "Armed with what?" "Err, bad breath ..."

Eddie: They're armed.
Soap: Armed, armed with what?
Eddie: Err, bad breath, colorful language, feather duster... what do you think they're gonna be armed with? Guns, you tit!

:)

God, I love that movie.

[blondeatlast]

172. "The're from the NRA. They're here to help you."

"Ruthless People;" police commissioner to a dumbstruck Bill Pullman trying to rob Judge Reinhold of the ransom money, both surrounded by hundreds of sharpshooters.

[MarianJack]

173. Not a Movie Line, but...

"Charlton Heston is MY President"

And we're supposed to kiss **'s ass! :shrug: :crazy: :wtf:

[GregW]

174. Army of Darkness: "THIS ... is my BOOMSTICK!"

" ... The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?"

Too, too many others in this excellent movie: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106308/quotes

[fit4life]

176. Even better from the same movie...

"You once found me beautiful."

"Baby, you got REAL ugly!"

That movie is definitely one of the greatest of all time, I don't care what anybody says!

[goodboy]

177. Oh god....did you eat all this acid?

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

[jayfish]

178. Groundhog Day

"This is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off waiting to worship a rat. What a hype. Well, it used to mean something in this town. They used to pull the hog out, and they used to eat it. You're hypocrites, all of you! You have a problem with what I'm saying, Larry? "

"There is no way this winter is ever going to end as long as that groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don't see any way out of it. He's got to be stopped. And I have to stop him."

I love that movie.


Jay

[dubyaD40web]

181. Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite

"Napoleon, you know we can't afford the fun pack. What, do you think money grows on trees in this family? Take it back! And get some Pampers for you and your brother while you're at it."

[NewJeffCT]

184. Wanna buy some nude pics of your mom? Real cheap...

From "The Goonies"