Just for Fun - TV lines that always make you laugh

[NewJeffCT]

Some of mine:

From Cheers:
Cliffy to Norm: "How's life treating you?"
Norm: "Like a baby treats its diapers."

From MASH:
Hawkeye to Korean 'alternate medicine' doctor: "And what does that cure?"
Doctor: "Hunger, that's my supper."

from WKRP in Cincinnati:
Rich old guys passes away and does his will on video:
Old guy: "And for my nephew, he's always been an all or nothing type of guy. And, since he can't have it all, he gets... nothing."

[MindPilot]

1. this classic from WKRP always puts me away

"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."

[kmla]

14. Funniest. Line. Ever.

EVER.

[meegbear]

2. From Batman

Batman to Librarian: "Have you noticed anyone peculiar?"
Librarian: "Peculiar? What do you mean?"
Batman: "For instance, have you seen anyone wearing green tights covered with black question marks?"
Librarian: "I don't think so. But, then I do see a lot of people during the day."
Batman: "Yes, of course."

[NewJeffCT]

6. that show was fun

I remember something about one of the Duo having a spare "Bat alphabet soup container"... the idea of carrying around an alphabet soup container while fighting crime was hysterical to me.

[kick-ass-bob]

3. "Holy Crap"

I just love that!
:7

[YankeyMCC]

4. Correction on the MASH quote

It was actually Maj Winchester who asked "And what does that cure?"

He'd gone to see a local healer about a tooth ache because he was afraid of dentists.


Great line though. :)


Here's one from Farscape:

D'Argo to Crichton: "The bad news is that you are married and you must endure as a statue for eighty cycles in a strange world."
Crichton: What's the good news?"
D'Argo: "Chiana and I are having fantastic sex."

[MindPilot]

5. Some dark medical humor

A scene from St Elsewhere, a new med student is performing his first rectal exam. The student and patient are behind the curtain with Dr, Erlich standing just outside the curtain.

Patient: AAARRRRRGGGGHHHH

Dr Erlich: Use more lube.

Student: Lube?

Dr Erlich: Oh, okay. Don’t panic; very gently pull your hand out of the glove.

Student: Glove?

[grace0418]

7. "I know she's a brown area, with points, and I love her."

Buster Bluth, Arrested Development

[MindPilot]

8. Another from Batman

Commissioner Gordon has asked Batman to run for Mayor of Gotham because he is the only one who can possibly defeat Penguin in the upcoming mayoral race. Batman and Robin are discussing Batman’s candidacy as they leave Gordon’s office.

“But Batman, a known criminal couldn’t be elected to high political office.”

“Don’t be so sure, Robin, don’t be so sure.”

[NewJeffCT]

13. Ironic now, ain't it

and sad.

[tcfrogs]

9. One from Seinfeld

There are many, most have been repeated too often, but I love this one, with a little set-up:

George is running from the bathroom to answer the phone, yelling, "Say Vandelay, say Vandelay!!!!" George's pants are around his ankles, and Jerry walks back into the apartment to see George lying on the floor.

Jerry - And you want to be my latex salesman.

[AlCzervik]

10. Vampires are make-believe, just like elves, gremlins and Eskimos

From Homer Simpson

[stlchic]

12. "Oh Lisa, it's not that I don't understand, it's just that I don't care."

Homer has some good ones...

[stlchic]

11. From Sports Night

Dan: "Ever heard of artistic license?"

Dana: "Ever heard of me kicking your ass?"

(I don't remember if that's exactly what Dan said, but I loved Dana's response.)

[DelawareValleyDem]

15. From the Odd Couple

Oscar: You want brown juice or green juice?
Felix: What's the difference?
Oscar: Three weeks.