How was Superman able to get his hair cut?

[terrya]

He was always well groomed. Wouldn't Earth scissors break every time a barber tried to cut his (well, Clark Kent, I guess) hair?

One of the mysteries I could never figure out about this superhero. :shrug:

[DrWeird]

1. heat vision and mirrors.

duh.

:evilgrin:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. Kryptonite scissors?

[tekriter]

3. And one more -

How did Ma Kent cut the fabric to make his super suit?

It was made out of the blanket he was wrapped in and was bulletproof, fireproof, etc.

[Blue-Jay]

4. I wonder what happened when he ejaculated.

[terrya]

5. Well, now that you mention that...

what DID happen when he ejactulated??

[Blue-Jay]

6. I dunno, but I wouldn't want to be in the same building.

[terrya]

7. I imagine there would be quite a few re-plastering of walls...

[El Fuego]

8. He just reversed the rotation of the earth!

See, he would make the earth spin backwards, and then time would go backwards, and his hair would go back in time and just be shorter!!

*sigh* Everyone knows that. Must I explain everything?????

:shrug:

[XNASA]

9. Didja ever hear the one about Superman and Wonderwoman?

:shrug:

[terrya]

10. I can just imagine....

Well, actually, no I can't...

[XNASA]

12. Superman is flying around Metropolis........

He looks down on the rooftop of a skyscraper and can't believe his eyes. It's a nekkid Wonderwoman, lying on her back with her knees apart...and she looks like she involved in some kind of autoerotic behavior. Well Superman has always had a thing for Wonderwoman but never wanted to let on because he didn't want to blow his cover and because, you know, Lois might find out. But he figures, "Hey, I'm faster than a speeding bullet. I'll just swoop down, do my thing and that'll be it."

So he does. And flies off at the speed of light.

A moment later and startled Wonderwoman sits up and says, "What the hell was that?"

And the Invisible Woman says, "I dunno but the back of my head is all sticky."

[Cush]

14. different from the one i've heard

[Cush]

11. yup, heard it

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

13. Is the Invisible Man involved? If that's the one, yes...

but I still think it's funny.

[XNASA]

15. Um? Invisible Man?

There was no superhero called the Invisible Man, was there? I always thought it was the Invisible Woman.

:shrug:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

17. After Superman does his thing and flies away,

Wonder Woman says, "What was that?" and the Invisible Man says, "I don't know, but my ass sure is sore."

[XNASA]

18. Ah. I see. Not bad.

But I still prefer the lesbian twist. And besides, The Invisible Man is an H.G.Wells character, no? I don't remember a superhero called the Invisible Man. Doesn't make the joke less funny, but, you know.......

I have my standards. ;-)

[NGU]

16. He used his heat vision and mirrors to burn his hair off at the ends.

[driver8]

19. Flow Bee -- he did it himself! n/t