"I have a lot of regrets, but nothing more than....

[SarahB]

the things I was too scared to do."

Probably that whole change in thought process of not letting fear dictate my life has ultimately altered who I am forever. Think about it. How much does fear dictate what so many of us do and how limiting it can be?

Anyway, perhaps I'm just a bit overtired and overworked (and whatever), but that's my profound thought for today nonetheless to share with you wonderful folks.

[Longgrain]

1. I think I understand...

You wouldn't know it around here, but I'm a very shy person. I could tell you stories of myself and my life that would make you cry.

What ever it is you're feeling right now, I hope you feel the courage that is sometimes needed to go on.

Just me saying hello...:hi:

[Droopy]

2. Well you usually don't get anywhere without assuming risks

I spent a lot of my time when I was in my twenties trying out different ways of life.

Druggie: Got me a mental illness
Independent trucker: Got me out of $40,000 in debt, but that's all I had to show for it when fuel prices spiked and good paying freight started to dry up in 2000. I sold my truck for $4000 and that's all I had to my name besides an old pickup truck.
House renovator: I bought two fixer uppers and renovated them to sell for a profit. I made a total of $1300 combined after 2 years of hard work.

That's pretty much how I spent my twenties. Now I don't feel like doing a whole lot besides working for the man and paying my bills. Life's so much easier that way.

[Darth_Kitten]

9. I essentially spent my twenties as a loner.....

here goes my "past"

born to a mom and a troubled (probably schizophrenic) birth father...no relationship with bio dad. No support or anything, long story I guess. :(

teen years, alcoholic stepfather, in small town. Lots of shame.

Late teens/twenties: I wanted to go to university, but costs, etc, got in the way.
Got some college/job training. Then crept in: depression, anxiety, etc. I essentially retreated from the world, very depressed, shy, and had no self-confidence. Didn't date, yet was hardly unattractive and unappealing. Just wanted to be left along.
Yes, my entire twenties.

I am still figuring things out, at 36. (things are better in some respects, but no, haven't gotten everything figured out yet!! LOL) I've made my peace with some people, have discovered my own talents and gifts, and am not so shy and reclusive anymore.

Geez, I'm getting more open in my old-age, when I was younger I wouldn't reveal much about myself.... :evilgrin:

[hatredisnotavalue]

11. Hey

much the same here,...feel so much for you...the shame in my youth made me an introvert so much about my family to be embarrassed about.

[Darth_Kitten]

13. And the thing was, what the hell did WE do so wrong, eh?

Thanks!!! I feel for you too. :hug:

I spent so much bloody time learning to "cope" with all the family crap, anger, etc that it took all my energy away from focusing on ME and what I wanted in life. :) That's what I regret most, I guess, the draining of my energy and the wasted years. :(

[hatredisnotavalue]

16. I have focused so much time on everyone else

I have absolutely no IDEA who I am. So much nurturing grandparents, mother, husband, children,....I am so tired, I wish I had the energy to find out who I am...I SO know about your family anger and embarassment...all I can say is that you have a new friend. Write to me if you want to vent. :)

[SarahB]

18. I was there once.

No one (and still no one really) cares anything about my needs, whether I have them met, or anything resembling who I am and what I truly want and need. I tried to say it. I attempted to convey the messages. Over and over. Eventually I had to demand them to retain my sanity.

However, I know myself and I'm very much ok. I still take care of what I need to take care of, delegate when necessary without worrying about pleasing everyone else, and am doing my best to make sure my own needs are met.

I wasn't always there. I had to go through much pain to get there, but ultimately, I'm a better person for it.

[coloradodem2005]

3. Though from my experience, my fears have been justified.

My fears have essentially come true and have nothing to go on.

[sundog]

4. fear

<How much does fear dictate what so many of us do and how limiting it can be? >

I've been having similar thoughts recently... fear will drive you into a cage of your own making :pals:

[hatredisnotavalue]

5. I too worry too much

And fear plays a lot into my life's decision, but I think my grandmother would call it prudence.
I am afraid of things I do not think would ultimately benefit me, like taking the expert slope on the mountain when I should be only skiing on the bunny slopes.

I over analyze everything I do and then ultimately hold back from doing it, but that is just my personality, I will never change. Acceptance is a huge step. If planting a vegetable garden gives you more satisfaction, than skydiving, well then you know what you should be doing in your free time. Same with job decisions. Same with all of life's decisions.

My one huge regret is that I wish I had had more kids.
My two are teenagers now and both have turned out just perfect(at least in my eyes). I wish I had eight more waiting in the wings.

[Southsideirish]

6. Me too. I'm trying to turn off my "monkey mind" and say "om" instead

of just rushing crazily from thought to thought.

[hatredisnotavalue]

7. what works for me

Last night...I was all whirled up about just about everything... then ..I tried to remember where the thermostat was in all of the houses I lived in...put me right to sleep in about two minutes...go figure..

[Southsideirish]

14. I count back from 1000. It really works - I rarely get to "900."

[Darth_Kitten]

10. I'm a worrywart too........

big time. :)

[Darth_Kitten]

8. Cripes.....that's so dead on.....

I could be posting that. :)

[Zomby Woof]

12. Fear is the Great Enemy

All bad things in the world, from racism, to war, to violence of any kind, stems from fear.

FDR was right about that one. Fear is the only thing we have to fear.

[SarahB]

21. ZombyWisdom.

:yourock:

[MidwestMomma]

15. Litany against fear --Frank Herbert's Dune

"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."

I love that litany. :)

[Wapsie B]

17. How very true.

My regrets in life stem from the times I pulled away and did nothing. I don't know how many potential romances I shy'd away from because I thought they wouldn't like me or that someone would get too close, or that I was undeserving of such pleasure. Careers too. I've been the picture of loyalty for so many years and it's cost me big time. I've been the dependable, obedient worker wherever I've been. But who gets ahead in life? Those that put themselves first.
The few times I've actually thrown caution to the wind and went for it, I've never regretted. I'm tired of living under a cloud of caution.

[Darth_Kitten]

19. I understand.......

the way I see it, or what I tell myself is: "I settled" I shouldn't have.

I want to take some more chances like you, too. :) :hi:

[SarahB]

20. I settled with every fiber of my being.

Never again.

No one should be self-destructive, but it seems far to many people become self-destructive when they aren't true to themselves in one way or another.

[SOteric]

22. Fear's a biggie, but...

many of my regrets involve being the fool who rushed in where angels fear to tread. So to speak.

Anyway, regrets aren't limited to those things we fear.

[sendero]

23. Having reached ..

... the elderly age of 50, here a few years back a friend (since childhood) said something to me that surprised me a lot.

He said "now I understand what they meant when they said 'life begins at 40'".

It's kind of sad that it wasn't 'til my 40s that I figured out who I was and what I wanted. But I think that happens to a lot of people.

And while I'd love to pile on about "fear", and I agree that fear is a dangerous thing, it is not all bad. Fear, like every emotion we have, is there for a purpose. Sometimes we may have too much of it, or use it unwisely, but don't write it off. Fear keeps us from jumping off a cliff.