HOME INVASION

[trof]

A Parable

I stepped into the kitchen for another cup of coffee this morning, and there's a guy standing in front of my refrigerator with the door open. He's wearing a belt with electrician's tools hanging on it and has a cordless drill in his hand.
There's a satchel open on the counter with some kind of electronic gadgets in it.

"What are you doing in my kitchen?"
"Nothing."
"What do you mean 'nothing'? Who are you? How the <Expletive Deleted> did you get in here?"
"Door was open."
"The <E.D.> it was! But that's beside the point. You can't just come walking into someone's house at six o'clock in the morning, or ANY time, for that matter."
"Sure I can."
I grab a large cleaver from the knife rack.
"Look, <E.D.>, you're about to leave here with fewer parts than you came in with. For the last time, who are you and what are you doing here?"
"HEY! WHOA! OK...OK! I'm an installation technician with MegaMarketingInc. We just want to install a little electronic chip in your fridge that will tell us each time you open the door and what items go in or out. It's harmless, just reads the bar codes. Won't affect your fridge at all. Well...it MIGHT not run quite as cold as it did, but it'll still be cold enough. Oh yeah, every time you open the door, the light bulb will project an ad onto one of the inside walls."
"This is UNBELIEVABLE! How the <E.D.> did you get in here? I know I locked up last night."
"They issue us a ULD, Universal Lock Disabler. Opens any lock in the world. Completely electronic. Leaves no marks, does no damage to the lock. Just momentarily disables it."
"OK, look...I don't really give a <E.D.> HOW you got in here. I just want you OUT. And take that <E.D.> gadget OFF of my refrigerator."
"Sorry, I can't remove it. I only have the installation tools. You'll have to contact the company and they'll send you the necessary tools and removal instructions. It's kinda complicated though. A lot of folks can't do it."
"This is the most outrageous thing I've ever heard of. I'm calling the cops."
"Go ahead. It's not against the law."
"Breaking and entering isn't against the law? Since WHEN?
"Not if you use a ULD. There's no law against it, at least not yet."
"Never mind. Just get the <E.D.> out of my house."
With a self-satisfied smirk he picks up his satchel and leaves. I follow him out the front door.
He's headed across the lawn to my neighbor's house.

You're probably way ahead of me. It wasn't my fridge, it was my computer.
And yes, I've used various pop-up stoppers and ad blockers, etc. "They" keep finding a way around them.
The point is that I shouldn't even have to HAVE a program that keeps unwanted stuff off of my computer.
Why is it OK for unauthorized "invaders" to break into my computer?
I'm sending this to my congressman, senators, and to any newspaper that will run it.
Feel free to use it if you want.

p.s. I wrote this before I got Firefox, but it still applies.

[trof]

1. OK, I just thought this was clever as hell.

Even if I DID write it.
I will now open myself to critiques.
What didn't you like about it?
Go ahead, I'm not thin skinned.
<sniff>

[arismomkoofie]

2. loved it!

and that is all I will say

[trof]

3. Thank you and WELCOME to DU.

I'm not usually this needy.
;-)

[arismomkoofie]

4. Thank YOU and...

sometimes you just gotta ask!