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Hi. I'm shy. Does anybody want to come over and talk to me?

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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 06:35 PM
Original message
Hi. I'm shy. Does anybody want to come over and talk to me?
It's true. I am shy.

And NO this is not a vanity post. And NO this is not a self-pity thread.

(and I guarantee there will be NO paintings and NO pictures of myself)

I just want to talk to you guys... :Shrugs shoulders: ...about anything...

:hi:
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BelleCarolinaPeridot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 06:36 PM
Response to Original message
1. I will talk to you :)
Even cooler if you had AIM we could chat . I am PrincessAmbiant .
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 06:44 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. I don't know how to use chat.
But thanks. I don't think I've ever conversed with you before. But I'd love to learn more about you.

I think everyone here knows everything there is to know about me.
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BelleCarolinaPeridot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:02 PM
Response to Reply #4
15. Well first off nice to DU meet you :)
I am CarolinaPeridot , I am 24 years old , North Carolina resident , studies Political Science , writer / listener of music . I have posted on the DU since October 2003 . And I am shy too , only because I am more of an observer and I like to check out the scenery before I join in the festivities . I am not famous on the DU but I do post whenever I can :)
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:28 PM
Response to Reply #15
29. I'll look for you CarolinaPeridot
I am 32 years old, born and raised in Massachusetts: hardly been outside my home State. Artist/ writer...sometimes Photographer.

Thank you so much for sharing...It's so good to meet you.:hi:
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RevolutionaryActs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 06:38 PM
Response to Original message
2. How do you feel about the moon?
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:31 PM
Response to Reply #2
30. Here's me responding...
:P
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RevolutionaryActs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:50 PM
Response to Reply #30
33. LOL Don't you like the song?
:P
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 10:08 PM
Response to Reply #2
70. No! I dislike sponge monkeys!
:P
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hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 06:42 PM
Response to Original message
3. Hi Mr. Longgrain,
How are you this fine Saturday evening ?

:hi:
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 06:47 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. Pretty good from one hippie to another...
Just relaxing and kicking back, hoping to make a few new friends.

:hi:
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hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 06:54 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. There's no such thing as too many friends ...
:) Whatcha' listening to at the moment ?
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:00 PM
Response to Reply #9
14. Bob Dylan.
Blond on Blond...

Thanks for asking.
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hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:08 PM
Response to Reply #14
22. I take it Dylan is your muse ?
What else do you like to listen to ? O8)
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:39 PM
Response to Reply #22
31. I'm not very musical obsessed...
as some people are.

I like music to make me feel something. And I mean, chill my bones, make me shiver.

Argh!
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 06:46 PM
Response to Original message
5. Hello. My name is Will
I am at work. I am very busy!;-)

Why are you so shy?


How are you doing today?

I had a great day! It was beautiful here in CT!:hi:
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 06:51 PM
Response to Reply #5
8. Hi I think I know you Will
I've always been shy, why, I don't know. What I do know, I've written volumes about.

I'm not far from where you are in Conn. and yes, it's been a beautiful day here too...50 degrees, almost like spring.

Gotta love these January thaws. (despite the fact that it's February).
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 06:55 PM
Response to Reply #8
11. I know who you are, Pete
And I know what you look like b/c you post your pic every day!:P

I was just trying to be silly!:)
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Az Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 06:50 PM
Response to Original message
7. Sup?
Anything huh? Ok. Do you think people are basically good, neutral, or evil? Hey, you never said lite conversation.
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 06:58 PM
Response to Reply #7
12. People will act the way the want to act...
You have to define good, neutral, or evil first. Some people just want attention and do bad things to get it. Some people think they are doing good but end up making a mess of everything.

It's a big world...you can't be everything to everybody.

In the ultimate end I'd say people are good, but they do a lot of evil things in order to become good.
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Az Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:05 PM
Response to Reply #12
20. How do you suppose people
see themselves? Even those that do what we may see as evil.
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 08:08 PM
Response to Reply #20
40. I've always seen myself as being "Bad"
For very little reason except the way I look and my passion for all things tender and kind.

But Damnit! I'm an artist...not a philosopher Jim.

:shrug:
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Az Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 08:40 PM
Response to Reply #40
50. Thats naughty, not evil
No matter what you suppose others think of your actions I am willing to wager (and I am not a betting person) that you believe your actions to be based on good thinking and compassion as you see it.

What artist is not a philosopher? Hmmm? What philosopher is not an artist?
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VioletLake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 08:42 PM
Response to Reply #50
52. Good points as usual, Az.
:hi:
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fit4life Donating Member (561 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 06:54 PM
Response to Original message
10. Why are you shy?
???
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:06 PM
Response to Reply #10
21. It might have something to do with my upbringing
It might just be me, I don't know.

I really do love people, and I want to be with people, I just have a hard time talking to people.

I've never been very popular, so I usually have to resort to outrageous stunts in order to get anyones attention.

It hurts, but I keep trying!:hi:
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RevolutionaryActs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:00 PM
Response to Original message
13. *sniff* You don't love me.
You didn't answer my other question. :cry:
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:02 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. Of course i love you Rev
I was just trying to reply to some of the people I don't know as well first...

You know I love you kid.
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RevolutionaryActs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:03 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. tehehehe.
OK. :D
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Cuban_Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:03 PM
Response to Original message
18. Whatcha wanna talk about?
:hi:
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:09 PM
Response to Reply #18
23. Hi C_L
Art is one of my favorite subjects.

I'm not really into music, but I love Bob Dylan. (and even got a Bob Dylan Group started here on DU)...

Of course there's writing and photography...

I suppose we could talk about just about anything...
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Cuban_Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:10 PM
Response to Reply #23
24. Writing and photography work.
So do literature in general, and politics. I'm Tony, btw...

:)
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:52 PM
Response to Reply #24
34. I think I know you Tony
I'm Pete, I thank you for taking the time to respond to me...

:hi:
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Glenda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:03 PM
Response to Original message
19. I already know you... slightly
But I will come over and say :hi: anyway!
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:10 PM
Response to Reply #19
25. I don't know you at all...
So many people, so little time.

What do you want to talk about...maybe we have a common interest. :hi:
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Glenda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:12 PM
Response to Reply #25
26. We're both in MA and we're both shy
I am too shy to market my business. It's annoying. I don't want to have to get a real job.
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:56 PM
Response to Reply #26
36. A little about me...
I work at a supermarket, which is embarrassing for a 32 year old man.
I could only afford a little college. I studied art.

I've written a novel that will probably never be published.

My relationships with women have been few and far between.

:hi: Jus' the facts Mamn.
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Glenda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 09:10 PM
Response to Reply #36
58. Have you ever tried to get an agent...
to publish your book? I have no idea how easy or hard that is.

A client of mine is working on getting a book published. I can't remember how she said she found her agent - I think through another person she knew.
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 09:21 PM
Response to Reply #58
60. Yes!
Many letters were sent out.

Many check lists were received in return...

I am not unfamiliar with the phrase--"Your work does not suit our needs at this time."
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Glenda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 11:37 AM
Response to Reply #60
115. I'm wondering if book agents are about "who you know"
The friend of mine who got the book agent through someone she knows, doesn't even like the agent, as if the agent is skeptical about the content of her book. And the agent insults her too.
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 11:45 AM
Response to Reply #115
118. I feel the same way
I never went to school for writing and have no access to a big university so I know no one and have no connections to the literary world.

Same with art, I know a couple professors from the local Community College but that's about it. :shrug:

The door is still open wide tho...
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VioletLake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:13 PM
Response to Original message
27. I'm shy too. I usually have to make an effort.
Sometimes it's not shyness though...
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:47 PM
Response to Reply #27
32. I know...
I've written an entire novel about it.

I sometimes think people who are popular aren't being themselves.
While those of us who are shy have to pretend to be someone else in order to fit it.

So go figure. :hi:
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VioletLake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 08:01 PM
Response to Reply #32
38. I don't know about the pretending part...
Edited on Sat Feb-05-05 08:12 PM by VioletLake
There's a little role-playing involved. It's natural to want to emulate people that are good at doing whatever it is you want for yourself. The key word is "want." I guess the shyness is wanting to do it, but not being able to do it.

I can usually tell when it's shyness, and I make the effort.

For me, being around other people is much easier in person. I'm a little square when it comes to the internet culture.


Edit: I thought so... emulate only has 1 "m". :+
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 08:23 PM
Response to Reply #38
41. As far as internet culture is concerned
I've been mostly honest. I've stretched the truth a few time, but who hasn't.

As far as people, outside of the internet, I prefer a few close friends who know me already, rather than large crowds.
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VioletLake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 08:34 PM
Response to Reply #41
46. I've been as honest as people have forced me to be. ;)
You're a natural organizer for a shy guy. I admire that in you... been watching it for a few months.

Here's for your efforts: :hug:
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 09:26 PM
Response to Reply #46
62. Thanks you're not the first to notice...
:hug:

I can't help it if I'm emotional...

(and if being nice, or emotional, or a "good organizer" is a bad thing...ya'll let me know.)
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VioletLake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 09:40 PM
Response to Reply #62
63. There's nothing wrong with being a little naughty too.
I also like your paintings a lot. This one is especially cool:

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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 09:43 PM
Response to Reply #63
64. Gasp! I'm glad you like...
:hi:
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VioletLake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 09:53 PM
Response to Reply #64
67. I'm a starving artist.
"Starving" to mean that I don't do it enough anymore. I was going to be a painter forever once upon a time.

So being able to enjoy the works of others means a lot to me. I have a recurring dream that I'm back in art school, knocked out by all the work around me, and not being able to find my "space."
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 09:56 PM
Response to Reply #67
68. Talk to me sometime...
I am the starving artist...



My apologies to all, but I couldn't resist.
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VioletLake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 10:19 PM
Response to Reply #68
72. Here's one of my paintings...


I'll get a few more pics together and post them in the Artists Group sometime.
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 10:27 PM
Response to Reply #72
74. YES!!!
Someone besides me (and a few others) is willing to post their art work around here...

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Good job! :thumbsup:
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u4ic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:19 PM
Response to Original message
28. I don't know you
but Hello Longgrain! :hi:

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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 08:00 PM
Response to Reply #28
37. Hello u4ic
And welcome to DU. Maybe we'll get to know each other better in the future....:hi:
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u4ic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 10:53 PM
Response to Reply #37
75. Thanks for the welcome, Longgrain :)
It's nice to meet you. You may be shy, but your paintings speak volumes. They're wonderful, and you truly have a gift.

I think creative people are quite often misunderstood. Just because it seems like not much is going on externally (talking), doesn't mean there isn't internally. There usually is, in droves. I think creative people are very perceptive, and in some ways, mysterious to the average person (the mystery being the creativity, and how one comes up with ideas and expresses them).

I can be quite shy in groups, or where I don't know anybody. I've always found that people love to talk about what they love...whether it be people, hobbies, etc. It may not net you a great friend or the love of your life, but I think that one can build on little successes (even if it means chatting for a minute to somebody at the bus stop, or whatever). I watched others who were good at small talk, and picked up a few tips that I felt comfortable with.

Finding common ground is also useful...sometimes one has to fish around a bit, asking questions. But I find people respond best to people who respond to them.

I think a lot of people feel like you. And we're so bombarded with people telling us information, or what to do, that actually having someone listen is a treat. I think listening is the key to great conversation.

You probably already know this, but I thought it might be worth repeating. :)

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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 11:07 PM
Response to Reply #75
79. Thanks your words mean a lot....
I hope my images do the same...

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u4ic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 11:33 PM
Response to Reply #79
83. I haven't received flowers in ages. Thanks! :) n/t
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alittlelark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 07:52 PM
Response to Original message
35. Hi ! Do you like the Bugaloos??
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 08:02 PM
Response to Reply #35
39. Check out my entry in the DU Coloring contests...
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alittlelark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 08:26 PM
Response to Reply #39
42. Very cool !!!
And, Uh, I got the reference... and you got a vote!
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 08:29 PM
Response to Reply #42
43. Thank you...in case you missed this
When I was displaying my board game collection...

The Bugaloos Game...



EnJOY. :)
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alittlelark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 08:53 PM
Response to Reply #43
55. ...Turning GREEN.......
to match my eyes.
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 09:52 PM
Response to Reply #55
66. I told you
You can't have!

It's mine. All mine!
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alittlelark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 10:59 PM
Response to Reply #66
77. AAARRRGGHHH !!!!
;)
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ScreamingMeemie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 08:30 PM
Response to Original message
44. Only if you'll post a picture of yourself.
I only respond to posts with pictures. ;) :hi:
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 08:36 PM
Response to Reply #44
47. Like you haven't seen my picture already....
:P
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ScreamingMeemie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 08:37 PM
Response to Reply #47
49. But it is surely a thing to gaze upon. Wish I had a single sister.
:P
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 09:48 PM
Response to Reply #49
65. I do too...
:P
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amazona Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 08:32 PM
Response to Original message
45. are you really shy or do you just think you are shy?
I have a friend who just thinks he is shy, and he says the same about me.

I think our self image from our early years never changes, and if we are shy as kids, even though we are not really shy any longer, we think we are shy. And really quite often we're making ourselves the center of attention. Or maybe I don't mean "we," maybe I just mean "me!"

:-)

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72


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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 08:40 PM
Response to Reply #45
51. All my life
can't talk to people.

Won't talk to them unless they like my artwork or talk to me first.

I don't like small talk, don't know how to respond to big talk.

Jus' trying to get people to like me I guess...

I don't communicate very well in words...

:)
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amazona Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 09:01 PM
Response to Reply #51
56. well I talk too much
People who know me now probably don't really believe that I didn't speak as a child, heh.

There is something to be said for the strong, silent type!

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72


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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 09:14 PM
Response to Reply #56
59. I tend to ramble on about nothing
all the time, just to have someone to talk to...

Several friends have told me that people think I'm "Retarded"

Now that really hurt!
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Dastard Stepchild Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 08:37 PM
Response to Original message
48. I'm shy, too :)
Edited on Sat Feb-05-05 08:40 PM by sjbech
People don't believe me because I am really responsive and very friendly when people approach me. BUT... I feel a paralyzing fear with even the thought of ME approaching people. I get sweaty palms, heart palpitations, churning stomach - the whole kit and kaboodle. And let's not even get started with how I feel in regards to class presentations or talking in front of a crowd. People think I blow hot and cold for this very reason... I've heard from many a friend that people just cannot place whether I am interested in them or enjoying their presence in my life. And it's not that I am at all uninterested. I just crumble at the thought of being the pursuer as opposed to the pursuee. :)

I have an irrational phone phobia as well. I cringe every time it rings :crazy:


edited for sp.
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 08:48 PM
Response to Reply #48
54. Hi shy person...
I know what it's like not being able to even look a person in the eyes when you're talking to them. Not being able to answer the door or the phone. Hell, I have a hard time greeting people by their first name.

Glad to see I'm not the only one here who feels this way.

Everyone tells me "Get out there and mingle!" They don't know how hard that is for some of us...

SIGH

But hi...:hi:
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Dastard Stepchild Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 12:56 AM
Response to Reply #54
96. I have a hard time using people's names as well...
It's funny, becuase I always thought it was a weird quirk of mine until I met other shy people that said they also had a difficult time calling people by their names. :)
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Glenda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 11:39 AM
Response to Reply #48
116. Many shy people have phone phobias n/t
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Dastard Stepchild Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 02:50 PM
Response to Reply #116
123. wow.... that is interesting :)
It is always amazing to hear how the things you assume to be your own personal neuroses are really shared by other people similar to you. :)
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Quixote1818 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 08:46 PM
Response to Original message
53. I use to be shy but broke out of it
I was extremely shy growing up and didn't talk in Kindergarten at all. My Mom (a psychologist) told me that I was self centered by being shy which got me thinking and I came to the conclusion she was right. Once I learned to forget about myself and focused on taking an interest in other people my shyness started to fade. My Mom use to tell me "fake it until you make it" and eventually I made it. I still sometimes feel shy but because I don't think about myself as much the shyness has faded. Now people would have a hard time believing I was ever shy.
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 09:07 PM
Response to Reply #53
57. Me...I've never "Grown out of it"
It seems to be part of who I am....

I've lived in a cage all my life.

But I'm always looking for a way out...
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Huckebein the Raven Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 09:21 PM
Response to Reply #57
61. neither have I
not very big on small talk either

also very uncomfortable in a large crowd

:shrug:
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 10:02 PM
Response to Reply #61
69. Same here...
I'm the guy at parties who sits in the corner by himself, not knowing anyone there,praying that someone will talk to him.
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Huckebein the Raven Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 11:48 PM
Response to Reply #69
86. I've been through that experience countless numbers of times
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Quixote1818 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 01:21 AM
Response to Reply #69
102. Try not thinking about yourself when you feel shy
Change the messages in your brain and focus on being interested in other people. Thats what worked for me. The fact that being interested in others is celebrated and seen as wonderful will justify that not only is it OK for you to go talk to someone and learn about them but it's considered wonderful that you would take such an interest. So instead of waiting for someone to come talk to you forget about yourself and focus on wanting to learn about others. People LOVE it when someone comes to talk to them and asks questions. Everyone wants to think others are interested in who they are just as you want others to be interested in you. Remember, why should they want to come talk to you if you are not interested in other people. It's all about caring about others more than you worry about yourself. Thats what worked for me and I was painfully shy!
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 03:44 PM
Response to Reply #102
126. Good advice!
Edited on Sun Feb-06-05 03:45 PM by Lorien
As Dale Carnegie says; everyone desires acceptance and understanding; when you focus on those basic needs in others, then you can indeed "win friends and influence people" (that book is just as relevant today as it was when it was written).

I have one dear friend in her 50s that has spent her whole life fighting loneliness. She's so painfully self conscious that her internal dialog is entirely focused on herself and her perceived failings. She only reaches out to others when they, too, are suffering a personal crisis. If someone else is filled with self doubt, she can relate to that and she offers words of understanding. However, she feels guilty about talking to anyone who is happy or content, because she fears that somehow she'll bring them down and become a burden. It's a terrible shame, because in those moments that she's not self focused she's witty and vivacious. She's had a fascinating life as an artist and former supermodel, so she certainly isn't boring when she can cast away her self doubts and just relate an amusing anecdote from her life. If I could wish anything for her, it would be to enable her to look outside of herself and see that others DO want her company and friendship-they don't just need a "foul weather friend" in times of personal crisis-she IS "good enough". It's so very frustrating.
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 10:14 PM
Response to Original message
71. Hey, if I remember correctly, you live not too far from where I grew up...
How are things in your neck of the woods?

I'll be headed up there in a couple of weeks to visit my folks.

Are there still a lot of empty store fronts downtown? Maybe someday I'll come back and start a business there.

What do you do for work in town.... or do you have to travel? Seems I don't recall there were a lot of employment opportunities up there.

Going to any good Super Bowl events/parties? Where you going to watch the game?

:hi:
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 10:23 PM
Response to Reply #71
73. Yep I remember, I think you said you were from Baldwinville.
Yep the downtown is half empty...the "for lease" signs out number the active store fronts.

Lots of empty factories out here too..



I work in Littleton...but live else where.

Anything for a dollar. :(
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 10:54 PM
Response to Original message
76. What makes you shy?
You post prolifically, you have absolutely no compunction about displaying your work or you photo (I was at DU for more than a year before I could screw up the courage to do either of those). You have no qualms about sharing personal information about yourself. Seriously; why do you feel that you're shy?
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 11:00 PM
Response to Reply #76
78. The internet is different from
meeting someone face-to-face.

Online I can be myself, without having to face the harsh reality of rejection...

:hi:
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 11:17 PM
Response to Reply #78
81. One can be rejected online ,too
the written word can be every bit as harsh as those that are spoken. I dunno, my shyness always came from a lack of self worth; I was a "mistake" that my parents made, I had a facial deformity, bottle thick glasses, and a speech impairment growing up, so I knew nothing BUT rejection. My self esteem was so low at one point that I was anorexic NOT because I wanted to be thin, but because I didn't believe I deserved to eat. I'm a professional artist, but I recognize that everyone has different tastes, so if they don't care for my particular style, well, there's no reason to be pissed about that! The way I deal with my shyness is by focusing on what everyone else is saying, that way I'm not thinking "I hope they like me", instead I'm thinking "I hope I like THEM". I'm accustomed to rejection, so anything different is a pleasant surprise-go in with NO expectations, and you might come away with a few happy surprises.

Just my 2 cents.
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VioletLake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 11:19 PM
Response to Reply #81
82. Wise words.
Beautiful cats.

:toast:
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 12:13 AM
Response to Reply #82
90. Thanks VioletLake!
aren't pets wonderful? They love us no matter what...well, unless they're served a tin of food they really don't like, lol! ;-)

:hi:
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VioletLake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 12:19 AM
Response to Reply #90
92. Tell me about it... I have 4 naughty boys.
3 of them are 15 yrs. old, and one will be 21 this year. They wake me up at 6 am every day for their can food meal. (We already have their favorite flavors worked out. ;)) As soon as I'm done feeding them, I have 3 litter boxes to clean, because the senior citizen needs a clean box after his meal or he'll piddle on the floor. sigh...

I love them dearly though.
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 12:26 AM
Response to Reply #92
94. 21!!
sorry, don't mean to threadjack, but your're a wonderful kittymama! Any secrets you'd like to share? (the Pet's group would probably be the best place for them ;-) ).

Are your kitties on Catster? DU is taking over that site. Here's a link to one of mine: http://www.catster.com/?100240 I'd love to see yours, too.

:hi:
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VioletLake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 12:35 AM
Response to Reply #94
95. I probably have a few useful suggestions. :)
My old boy is a Chinchilla Persian. He still has the loudest purr I've ever heard. When I turn my computer off to go to bed, he follows me in and lays in my arms like a baby (under the covers) for about 15 minutes. This is our nightly ritual and it makes his younger brothers jealous. Ok... enough of that. :)

I haven't posted pictures of them, but I will soon. I will also drop by the Pets Group.

(My apologies for temporarily hijacking your thread, Longgrain.) :hi:
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 11:39 PM
Response to Reply #81
84. Seriously...you and I need to talk some more, someday.
And I might just tell you my story...:hi:
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 12:21 AM
Response to Reply #84
93. One thing I've learned; everyone has one, along with their own
crosses to bear. Pain is completely universal; even the most seemingly charmed lives carry some fairly dark secrets.

:hi:
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 11:13 PM
Response to Original message
80. Anyone else?
I got nothing better to do tonight? :hi:
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NC_Nurse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 11:42 PM
Response to Reply #80
85. Hi Longgrain!
Funny, you've never struck me as shy on here either, but I guess you are more bold in cyberspace. I am more comfortable with people in person than here. I rarely start threads myself, I don't feel I'm as well informed as many here are and I'm not into cyber-confrontations....I don't usually get into threads with a lot of flames flying.
I like your paintings from what I've seen on lounge threads. I used to sing in a band, but I haven't done any music in quite a while. Too much working and family responsibilities....sigh.
Something that I remember someone telling me long ago that helped me with self-consciousness around other people is to remember that they are not thinking about me...they are thinking about themselves. The world doesn't revolve around me, I'm not that important. It's good to get some perspective I think. How big of a deal is it if you don't hit it off with someone? Move on to the next person. There's a lot of us out there. :)
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NC_Nurse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 11:53 PM
Response to Original message
87. Oh, well. Guess I missed ya!
I'm going to bed now. Maybe we can talk another time. Goodnight!:hi:
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 11:56 PM
Response to Reply #87
88. Goodnight NC_Nurse
Maybe I will see you again...:hi:
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AVID Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 12:11 AM
Response to Original message
89. Hi Longgrain
I'm Dan and I live in Montana. I'm a house husband, non-profit director, dad, and guitarist.

I'm a lousy house husband (never get anything done around here), pretty organized foundation director (always working too much on this), good dad (I do the breakfast thing, running around after school, homework checks) and mediocre guitarist.

I like your art. My brother is an artist out in Santa Maria CA.
My house is filled with his work. Here is my favorite. It's called Blue Puddle, 1990.

He painted it from a photo of my wife and daughter at the beach when my daughter was 1.



Its nice to see you here tonight! :headbang:
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 12:16 AM
Response to Reply #89
91. OMG Thanks for sharing
I just love seeing art by other DUers and your brother has some talent...

I love the "Wife and Daughter" theme too. Motherhood has always been one of my strongest feelings...and always a good subject for art.

:hi:
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 12:58 AM
Response to Original message
97. Hey babycakes.
Million Dollar Baby is one sad fucking movie. :cry:
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 01:07 AM
Response to Reply #97
98. Hi Theadkiller
I'm still alive, and doing fine.
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 01:10 AM
Response to Reply #98
99. Why must you insist on calling me that?
Why must you be so cruel to me?


Oh...because I pick on you mercilessly?


But that's because I think of you as my brother. Isn't that what a (slightly) older sister is supposed to do?
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 01:16 AM
Response to Reply #99
100. First off
You called yourself by that name long before I did.

Second off, us little brothers have been known to tease our (slightly) older sisters.

It's in our genes...:P
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 01:20 AM
Response to Reply #100
101. Hey baby bro
I was only joking. I love it when you tease me.


Oh wait - does this mean that I can't flirt with you any more?

I'm so confused.
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 01:23 AM
Response to Reply #101
103. Flirt all you want...
I can take a joke...sis.
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 01:30 AM
Response to Reply #98
105. I just killed another thread.
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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 01:28 AM
Response to Original message
104. Good evening sir
How has your evening been?
What do you wish to learn at this hour?
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 01:33 AM
Response to Reply #104
106. Hi WindRavenX
I'm going to bed shortly.


To answer your question. I guess the keys to popularity are much desired.
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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 01:35 AM
Response to Reply #106
107. ahh but ponder this
Does not knowing many people not eventually make you feel more isolate, more empty?
I think it does.
Knowing but a handful of people keeps you alive and keeps you solid.
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agates Donating Member (743 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 01:41 AM
Response to Original message
108. Hi Longgrain
Want to go rock hounding? Agate collecting? What are your hobbies?
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 09:34 AM
Response to Reply #108
109. Hobbies:
Painting, writing, and Photography. I hope to make a career out of one of them someday.:hi:
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NC_Nurse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 10:01 AM
Response to Reply #109
110. Hi again!
I'm back up! I see you are up later AND earlier than me! Impressive.
:D
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 10:25 AM
Response to Reply #110
111. Hi You.
Yeah I'm kind of an insomniac.

Plus once I get a conversation started on line, I feel compelled to reply to everything. I didn't expect this one to get very many responses.

They're a lot more shy people out there than I thought. :hi:
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NC_Nurse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 11:00 AM
Response to Reply #111
112. Everyone is self-conscious in SOME
Edited on Sun Feb-06-05 11:01 AM by NC_Nurse
situations...it just depends on your personality and upbringing as to which ones those will be.
I was on the fringe in high school and I still feel left out when groups seem like that clique thing that is SOOO high school. I grew up with an autistic/mentally retarded sibling and my mom had a drinking problem, big time. Didn't have a lot of fun things to talk about with other kids, I didn't feel I could have them over to my house...too many things could go wrong. You could say it was tough, but that would be a total understatement. Since I don't have anything even remotely that awful to deal with now it seems pretty easy to talk to people now. Of course, I've had LOTS of therapy since I was a MESS as a young adult. Thank God it worked!
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 11:10 AM
Response to Reply #112
113. Thanks for sharing
sounds a little like my story. I'm not depressed or dependent on alcohol or drugs, but I've had past experience with metal illness as a teenager that I always felt interfered with normal development of social skills.

I was always the withdrawn type that everybody LIKED but nobody wanted to really get to know.

I'm changed. I'm a lot friendlier now and I a few close friends. I just still have a tough time breaking the ice with most people.
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NC_Nurse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 11:24 AM
Response to Reply #113
114. You seem to be doing fine to me
You'd be surprised how many people have had to struggle with all sorts of traumas in life. I think it makes me a more open-minded and understanding person. I am also very tolerant of differences (except maybe RW fundie mindsets!). It makes me a really good nurse too and I bet it informs your artwork. I'm glad to get to know you better and I support you in your move out into the social world! :pals:
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 11:41 AM
Response to Reply #114
117. Thanks again, I was feeling introspective last night
I thought I be more open and honest with y'all, instead of engaging in the usual drinking threads and vanity threads...

I just want to say hi and quietly get to know a few people better.

It looks like it worked...:pals:
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yellowdogintexas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 12:15 PM
Response to Original message
119. I am sometimes shy so I just got up my nerve to post here...
I live in Texas. where are you?

I have also lived in Indiana, Tennessee, Massachusetts, and Kentucky.

I do not like football, but I LOVE basketball

Hobbies: cooking, reading, puttering in the flower garden, armchair caver, collect cookbooks.

family: two sisters, husband, daughter (age 20) and four cats

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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 12:21 PM
Response to Reply #119
120. Thanks for over coming your shyness.
The first month I was on DU I only had about 30 posts and hardly knew what the Lounge was all about.

I'm in Massachusetts right now, single and forced to live with my parents for the time being.

I've never been a big sports fan, tho I do like going to baseball games. I just don't care much for watching them on T.V. unless its a big game.

I guess I'm a Pats fan, tho I probably not watch the entire game, I'll at lest be rooting for them.

Nice to meet ya yellowdog. :hi:
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ralps Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 12:27 PM
Response to Original message
121. Hi Longgrain, Hi you all. I'm pretty shy also. I'm from Milwaukee, WI
Edited on Sun Feb-06-05 12:28 PM by ralps
I went to college in San Antonio, TX, Madison, WI, and here in Milwaukee. I'm an artist, photographer and graphic designer I have 2 cats, one of them is yowling at me now so I better find out what he wants. See you all later.
:hi:
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 12:41 PM
Response to Reply #121
122. I'll see you around too ralps
Edited on Sun Feb-06-05 12:41 PM by Longgrain
I already know you somewhat but I'm looking foreward to getting to know you better...

Me myself I got to clean out my room today, but I'll still be checking in. :hi:
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Dastard Stepchild Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 02:54 PM
Response to Reply #121
124. All of my family is from Milwaukee :)
I was born there - moved to Illinois from Wisconsin when I was 11. Love that little city! I've always believed Milwaukee folk to be a good sort of people.
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Acryliccalico Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 03:25 PM
Response to Original message
125. Hi longgrain
Nothing to ask or say just Hi. :) :kick:
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 03:44 PM
Response to Reply #125
127. Then I won't say anything back except
Hi :)
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