weird romantic illness

[liberalitch]

I have a problem... I can't seem to get over.
Why can't I let my boyfriend ("the commie") go out with his friends?
He's never cheated in 7 years.... so that's not a fear.
Here are the contributing difficulties:
he is incapable of leaving a bar before 2am, then he will stand around with the fellas in the parking lot and talk for hours (I've seen him in action).
he works in the resturant biz and I teach... so sometimes our schedules are different.
I know that one problem is that I can't sleep until he comes home... so instead I'm a bitch and don't let him out at all.
Oh, I should say that when he does promise to come home early he looses track of time and doesn't... like I said I trust him on thesex thing... it's just everything else!

[1monster]

1. Take a benedryl tablet to help you get to sleep and let him out one night

a week. You'll both be happier. You'll get your sleep and he won't feel like he's being strangled by that short leash you're keeping on him. A short leash has a lot more strain on it than a long leash will and might just break under the every day stress and strain. Give him some slack.

edit: spelling and grammar

[liberalitch]

2. I'm gonna have ta.....

There is absolutely no reason why I shouldn't.....

[populistmom]

3. You have to let it go

To be frank, as a person who has experienced the other end of this, it really tears you up inside to have to be responsible for someone else's fears and insecurities when you haven't done anything wrong. Over time, it wears you down to a point where you are really frustrated. I hope this doesn't sound harsh, but its definately a problem to work on or it could come back to bite you down the raod.

[Fight_n_back]

4. My wife and I had this problem

and I left because of it (and other stuff)

Does your boyfriend have ADD? It is a symptom.

He may end up feeling suffocated eventually.

[liberalitch]

5. He's an artist...

so he probably does have ADD.
:-)

[LuLu550]

6. give him room to breath

or the other side of the bed will be empty a lot longer than a few hours a week!

[Bridget Burke]

7. It's called "Jealousy"

& there's nothing "romantic" about it.

[Fight_n_back]

8. it isn't jealousy

it is expecting a kind of courtesy that another can't provide. It is needy and controlling and that leads to the guy chewing his arm off to get out.

[cally]

9. I'll offer advice from someone who

responded like you. My husband/boyfriend at the time needed to spend time with his buds. I didn't have a problem with that, what I got furious about was that he wouldn't call unless he was surrounded by his buds razzing him on how his spouse was controlling him, he wouldn't come home or call when expected, and I felt like I ceased to matter to him during these escapes. He felt I was trying to control him. It took years, but we now have some agreements about this. He understands that I am not trying to control him or his friends, he also knows that I need him to let me know he is safe and how to contact him during an emergency. We finally agreed on some rules that work for us both.