Are you threatened by women who can do "manly" things?

[Maddy McCall]

I'm a southern woman who can do pretty much any damned thing I please. I am well-educated (PhD level), and some DUers who have seen my photo would say that I am pretty.

But I like to do guy things. I can build anything I want to build...am going to build a new guinea pen in just a few minutes. I am skilled at woodworking, plumbing, electrical work--I rarely have to ask for assistance for "around the house" repairs. I can change my oil in my car, and I take care of other basic maintenance things dealing with my car.

When friends have problems with their stuff, they call me. I can install ceiling fans, fix phone lines, etc. My father raised me to never have to be dependent on men, and probably to the extreme that way.

One of my guy friends told me that it is intimidating to him that I can do more guy-type-stuff than he can do. I told him that it's his problem, not mine.

Indeed, if I were ever to find a committed relationship, I'd be content to have a house-husband (if that's what he wanted to do) while I go out and earn a living.

I don't know if it's my abilities or my mentality that is intimidating, or if it's just that, in Mississippi, the only single straight guys in their thirties are wife-beaters or convicts. :-) To be honest, I know I put-off guys with my attitude. I walk tall and don't feign helplessness or ultra-femininity, although I am feminine in appearance.

So, would you be intimidated by a woman like me?

[Magrittes Pipe]

1. I hate manual labor. And working outside.

Ain't nothin' I love more than a woman who'll mow the grass! :D

[Maddy McCall]

3. If you will cook and wash clothes...

let's get married. :-) :toast:

[Magrittes Pipe]

6. I love to cook.

We'll have to draw straws for the laundry. ;)

[Maddy McCall]

8. Ok, I'll do laundry if you'll vacuum and dust.

:7

[Magrittes Pipe]

10. I think I'm in love!

:loveya:

[Maddy McCall]

15. LOL!

The ultimate test, though, is will you wash the dishes after I cook chicken and dumplings. I hate washing up after I cook that meal. :7

[Magrittes Pipe]

16. Oh dear... it looks like it was never meant to be.

:cry:

[Maddy McCall]

17. I knew it.

I hate messy kitchens, too. And I HATE cleaning up after I cook chicken and dumplings. :(

( :7 )

[Magrittes Pipe]

18. My girlfriend will be very sad to learn that we've split up.

It looks like the poor lass is stuck with me.

[Maddy McCall]

20. Well, if she reads this thread, she's going to make you take on...

more home responsibilities. You just might find yourself dusting and vacuuming from here on out. :D

[Magrittes Pipe]

21. I already do all the cooking.

I'm such a woman.

[ikojo]

2. I am a woman and no I am not intimidated by

a woman who does things outside what is accepted as the gender norm. I wish I could do some of those things. What is so wrong with being able to take care of yourself?

[Maddy McCall]

7. Nothing, I guess.

Funny story: A year ago, a guy friend and I went camping. We both took our own tents.

As I was erecting my own tent, another guy at the campground walked up and INSISTED that I move out of the way and let him put up my tent for me.

I didn't want to be an asshole, so I stepped aside, but I became so aggrivated watching him blunder it, that I finally said, "I can't watch this anymore. Let me put up my own tent."

He went to my other friend, and I could hear him calling me a bitch and such. Anyway, I had my tent up and anchored in five minutes.

It's just yet another example of men who think they are more capable at doing this type thing than women. And I guess it's what I hate about some men (not all men--I love men, but can't stand know-it-alls of either sex).

[MuseRider]

4. Maddy

:hi:

I am not quite as handy as you are but I am learning. Can't run a farm and have to wait around on some man to come help you out! If I don't know how I figure out how to find out how. Why not?

[Maddy McCall]

11. You learn by doing.

I think that's the best lesson my Pop ever taught me. I'm not afraid to try out new things.

[MuseRider]

13. I am clapping

my hands for you and your Pop. Good for you.

[Maddy McCall]

19. My mom didn't like me around her in the kitchen...

and she never took the time to teach me how to sew--and she is a master seamstress. I learned to cook on my own, and I eventually learned to sew on my own, but not to the level that she sews.

But, I think my dad had hoped for the first-born to be a son, and I was always a daddy's girl, so I followed him around, whereever he went. He was always eager to teach me, unlike my mom, who was more private in her doings.

So, I guess that's what explains it. Dad and I still enjoy doing stuff together. He's my best friend in so many ways. (I also inherited his temper, which explains why we can fight with the best of 'em, but we always get over it. My mom is the queen of passive-aggressives, though.)

A couple of years ago, I broke my leg in a go-kart wreck. My dad took me to physical therapy every time I went. Then, when he got cancer last year (which was the most traumatic thing I have ever been through--worse than death or divorce)--I took him to all of his treatments.

I don't know what I'd do without my dad. CAn't even imagine. I love my Mom, too, but Dad and I are really close.

[MuseRider]

28. Sweet story.

That is so very nice about your Pop. I hope he is doing well.

[SW FL Dem]

46. Another thing we have in common!

My dad and I were really close, I was the first born and he always wanted me to be independent. When I was 12, he taught me how to rewire a toaster and he and I panelled my bedroom and the garage together (so it was the rage in the 70s).

You are lucky to still have your dad, mine died when I was 22 and I have now lived more of my life without him that I did with him. My mom is a definite passive aggressive and our relationship has been strained at times.

[madison2000]

5. As a woman, I think its pretty cool and I wish I could do more guy things

My dad was an engineer, and very handy. He tried with some success to get my sister to learn some skills, but I was never interested. My brother does a lot of guy fix it stuff easily, and my sister is pretty handy now (she was married to a man who couldn't change a light bulb) because she learned the skills to save money. Even though I am in a technical profession (computers) I am not as handy as I'd like to be.

I moved from Illinois to Wisconsin a few years ago. One of the contrasts for me was that IL women were a lot more high maintenance than WI women. Lots of women in WI know how to fish and hunt, fix things around the house, run a farm... they even drive trucks. Seemed like IL women were more interested in manicures and paying someone else to fix things. I love it that so many women here drive trucks- never seen an IL woman driving a truck.

So although I am still more of an IL woman in some ways, I love to see women who put their brains and energy into useful skills - and I don't see them as less feminine, I'm envious!

[Maddy McCall]

12. Great post!

That's next on my list...getting Pop to teach me how to bushog and use the tractor.

I haven't been on the tractor since I was 15, and I wasn't able to shift gears without popping wheelies. Dad gave up on me on that one. :-)

YEs, if I had a choice to go fishing or to get my hair and nails done, I'd go fishing. I love the outdoors. Hunting I can't do, though. I love watching the deer around here. I do trap, though. Caught and released a raccoon a month or so ago. That reminds me--I need to go bait the trap. :7

[Dastard Stepchild]

26. I never learned to fish and hunt in Wisconsin :)

Were you living in the Chicago suburban areas of Illinois? If you take a trip down south a bit, even a bit west, you'll meet a different type of Illinois gal. Not that I am from those parts, but I know many a woman who is. I'd say it's more of a rural/urban divide. When I lived in Milwaukee, I knew of no women who would hunt and/or build a wood shack for their yard. When I would visit family in Steven's Point, on the other hand, I couldn't quite make that statement. I suppose we learn the skills necessary for our environment. I can throw together furniture, change a tire and do minor car repairs. Those kinds of "manly" skills for my urban environment. :)

[NurseLefty]

36. This is off topic, but your Will Farrell-BOC Cowbell skit signature

..has me ROTFLMAO!! One of my fave SNL skits! And I LOVE Christopher Walken!
:7 :7 :7
Thanks for making me laugh!

[Dastard Stepchild]

49. My pleasure :)

I LOOOOOOOOVE that skit as well.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

9. Hell No!

I find it very sexy! I have met a few women like you and have always found it a big turn on. I happen to be one of those guys we can do just about everything. I can build a house from drawing the plans to installing the roof but I can also cook, clean and decorate. Of course, I'm a Libra so I have an innate sense of beauty but chicks like you make my knees weak. Threatened? no. Excited, you betcha!

[Maddy McCall]

14. I'm a libra, too.

Wild!

I was raised by a man like you. He's a jack-of-all-trades and I guess I kind of got some of my abilities by osmosis. :-)

I think it's a turn-on, too, to work with a guy building a deck or doing other home-improvement stuff. It's a kind of togetherness that just can't be explained.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

22. OMG

Libra chicks are totally the most sexy too. I think I love you but I could never move to a red state. Guess you will just have to educate one of our confederate brothers. Lucky, lucky guy!

[Rowdyboy]

23. If you'll keep my car in top order, the plumbing running, and pay the

bills, I'd gladly cook, do laundry, sweep, mop, garden and shop. If you only were a guy.....

[prairierose]

24. Hi Maddy, I'm always happy to meet another woman....

who isn't afraid to do stuff for herself. I was raised that way too. Although I'm not as handy as you seem to be! I wish I was. But I have found the same thing with men. Because I'm bright & don't simper & flirt, I'm not feminine.

I do more stuff inside the house. Baking my own bread, upgrading my own computer. When you go into a computer or parts store & tell the male clerk the part you want & they say, " Are you sure that's what you need? Who is fixing this for you?" Kind of fun :evilgrin:

But I have to tell you, that until a man falls out of the sky & says,
"I'm not intimidated by you & I like you even if you are crazy" I've given up. :shrug:

[nuxvomica]

25. No. I am threatened by women who won't do those things

They are threats to my time cuz I have to do those things for them and threats to my self-esteem cuz I may not be able to. :-)

[GOPisEvil]

27. Intimidated? Hell no! I want you to come here and HELP ME!

I'll feed ya!

[arwalden]

29. Only The Ones Who Pee Standing Up...

... that always freaks me out.

[WoodrowFan]

48. yeah really

that's kinda creepy

[SarahB]

30. dupe

[SarahB]

31. I think REAL men....

Want a strong woman who can take care of herself and her needs. I'm by nature a very independent person who likes to take care of things myself. One of my biggest issues in my marriage was this borderline misogynistic attitude of "don't fret your pretty little head about such matters". It bugged the crap out of me. Even if I'm stressing over some household repair (i.e. cursing like a sailor in the middle of doing some project), just let me do it, get out of my way, and it'll get done and get done correctly. Don't push me aside and treat me like a damned child. Don't maintain these narrowly defined gender roles. There can be a fine line between chivalry and being obviously threatened by a woman.

That being said, I'm great with household repairs and modifications, less so with automotive. My brain is actually beginning to stir with thinking I may buy a house to renovate and sell, but I think I'll have to wait a couple more years or I'm going to overextend myself until I complete the degree I'm working on. I suspect though I'm going to at least be refurnishing a lot of the furniture I end up buying soon. I actually particularly enjoy doing that kind of stuff.

[Joe Chi Minh]

45. I came across

this post in Readerville.com. Wish I'd taken down the poster's name. I have a suspicion it might just appeal to your sense of humour, SaraCat and the rest of you.

"The one category that I never saw required by men who advertised for women was intellect. Since time immemorial any woman with half a brain has known that in pursuit of romance, she must hide it. One of my greatest dating disasters was with a man who fancied himself as a bit of a writer. When he eventually asked me what I did for a living and I confessed, in a small voice, that I did the odd bit of writing myself, he gave me one of those pat on the head looks and said sympathetically, “Had any published?” Somewhat regretfully, I nodded, “Books mostly”. After which, his lips seemed to leave his face, he paid the bill, we left in silence and I never saw him again".

A puppy-dog mutt and a lioness. What was Samson's riddle? "Out of the strong came forth sweetness"?

[liberalpress]

32. I say..

if'n its drinkin' whuskey straight out of the bottle and makin' love to purty girl...I'm not threatened, I'm envious!

[sakabatou]

33. Screw the guys who don't appreciate you

... no, not literally... -_-

[Zomby Woof]

34. That's why you need to leave Mississippi

What seems the norm there is the exception elsewhere. I don't associate with any men who would be bothered by a self-reliant woman. I know they exist, but I avoid the areas/social castes they tend to cluster in. It actually stuns me that this has been a problem with you in terms of relating to men. You need to move where there are MANY single, hetero men, who aren't jailbirds or domestic abusers, who love and appreciate self-reliant, strong women with your abilities and strengths. Such places exist! But you have to move out of the deep south.

You can't have me though. :P

[amazona]

35. i'm uncomfortable with this statement

Indeed, if I were ever to find a committed relationship, I'd be content to have a house-husband (if that's what he wanted to do) while I go out and earn a living.



It borders on saying you are willing to buy companionship.

I don't think it is manly or empowering for women to "buy" men. The man should have a job. I have known women in a financial situation where they basically purchased husband or companionship. It doesn't end happily.

There are a lot of men out there seeking a meal ticket. Go into a casino sometime, looking well-dressed and betting a good sum of money. You will be surprised at how desirable you will suddenly become. Me, I find this behavior rather creepy. A relative with a great deal of money purchased her new husband at the race track. He did a hell of a number on her life and finances. There are lots of men who don't want to work and will be happy to let you earn AND do all the house work up to and including the major home repair. For your sake, I would hope you never meet any of them.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[cags]

37. You are my new best friend!

It is rare to find another woman like me. Hence I have very few female friends. Except for the PhD part, which I am fully capable of just haven't had the opportunity, we are pretty much twins. Oh and the father part is different, mine took off when I was eight, but my mother was very passive too, so if anything was going to get done I did it.

I've built a completely dog proof rabbit cage too. I do most of the "man jobs" around my house as well. Repaired some of my brother-in-laws attempted repairs. I sew, cook, I'm an artist, I can outride any guy on my seadoo, My dream toy is a chopper(don't have it yet though), I have a graphic design degree, summa cum laude(4.0), I don't like to dress feminine, but I do like to be sexy.

Lucky for me I have a DH who feels lucky to have a woman like me. He bought me a set of powertools last christmas. I don't like to clean though, but he does. We've been together since I was 15 so I haven't really had the same men troubles.

I bet you get the same reactions from male salespersons as I do whenever your in a home improvement store or supply house. I know you know what I'm talking about. To me that is the worst thing. I replaced the motor in our airconditioning unit once and when I went to pick it up the guy said, "Do you want me to write the instructions down for the guy who will be installing it?"

A lot of guys need to feel needed. Its in thier nature, but not ever having to deal with that I don't really have advice for you.

[Swamp Rat]

38. Nope. Now, pass me the 1/2" open-end wrench.

:D

[Rabrrrrrr]

39. Nope - those are the women I like best!!

[maddiejoan]

41. well...

I wouldn't be intimidated at all -- But then again, I'm a dyke ;)

[catzies]

40. I'm the same way, and permanently single as a result. I've been told

I'm too intimidating too.

Good thing I like myself, my own company, and spending my own money on me.

Gals like you and me, we should be running the world. Don't you think? :)

Here in California, women of accomplishment and substance are a man's second choice -- after arm candy. It's part of the culture.

But I grew up in Florida, and I understand the tradition of strong Southern womanhood and it seems more appreciated there? Do you think it's harder being a Southern woman to boot?

[HEyHEY]

42. Turned on is a better term

There's an old expression "SUre, she's pretty, but can she chop wood?"

[Kire]

43. I"m not threatened, but...

...I'm not posting a picture of Petra Nemcova on DU ever again.

:toast:

[SW FL Dem]

44. I wouldn't - but then I am very much like you

I'm a graduate of a top ten law school, tall and blonde. I installed the sprinkler system in the back yard of my last house, not to mention doing all the landscaping, including a waterfall. I put down 1200 sq ft of glued down hardwood flooring and actually own a compound miter chop saw. I lay tile, installed 4 new ceiling fans and two new faucets in my house just last month. My dad taught me to rewire a toaster when I was 12. I owe it all to him. I don't work on cars though.

I am lucky to have found a hubby who appreciates my talents. He knows how lucky he is to have me. We've been together for over 20 years. It is really nice when he starts to brag about all I can do to his friends and co-workers.

[WoodrowFan]

47. so long as you don't actually have a penis

I'd be cool with it.


"Only a weak man fears a strong woman"