SOTU Drinking game - You've already lost.

[Midlodemocrat]

Okay, I know this is way after the fact, but I got this today and it is too funny.

As always, if you haven't started drinking already, you're never gonna win. Also, please join us in drinking the Purple Finger, which is 1 part cassis, 1 part grenadine, and 1 part vodka. Freedom never tasted so sickly sweet—but you're warned, the hangover is a bitch.

· Every time "Iraqi vote" referenced: 1 tiny sip. (Pace yourself on that one, seriously.)
· "Mandate": touch yourself to gay porn mag Mandate.
· John McCain spits on floor: chug-a-lug!
· Mentions "WMD": smash bottle in face.
· Says "Plowing through": titter like a girl.
· Tricky one: "On Monday, we will reveal details..": 2 drinks.
· Annual fave, "status quo": 1 smack on the head.
· Whenever Cheney sneers like Mephistopholes: 1 drink.
· Social Security reverse psychology: Bush says "insecurity": 3 drinks down the wrong tube, resulting in choking among the uninsured.
· "Spreading freedom": slather on some freedom.
· Names "Barbara Boxer": fall off couch in shock.
· Mention of twins: hump couch.
· Every time Condi is pictured while clearly doing Kegels: 1 shot of chai tea.
· Bush unable to prevent himself from breaking into hysterical laughter: drain all nearest bottles.
· Hillary faints, again: 1 oyster shooter.
· Mentions "Iran": stop drinking and start fucking packing. —CS