It's that magical time again....read my poem!

[WindRavenX]

This time, there are some rhymes to be had (which I suck at, so trust me- I know this one blows chunks)!
======================
The Lot

Teeth of glass glittered in the morning light
as wisps of fog
moved over the pavement, the plight
of a forgotten time
masked by silence.
And the towers behind the still lot rose into the clouds
echoing the cry
of the black winged angels as they circled
their shadows running
over the pavement.

There are fragments and pieces, here and there, in the creases
of the earth. The same smell
that smell of rotted paper and metal and
pools of black water that the strays drink from.
How the things we abandon
never quite disappear.
That Bible over there in the puddle- coated with grey mold
the bold world of justice it once promised
bleeding out from the delicate print
absorbed by the pool of spoiled beer.

[RevolutionaryActs]

1. That's a wonderful poem, you should be proud of it!

:thumbsup:

[The Traveler]

2. Ouch.

"How the things we abandon never quite disappear ..."

Really good word work through all this, but the last few verses really rang my bell. It most definitely does NOT blow chunks.

[WindRavenX]

4. rang my bell?

Is that good or bad?

[The Traveler]

8. Good. Poetry is supposed to create an emotional response

and that really did. The moldy Bible. The world of justice promised bleeding out. Etc. Youch. They cut a bit, those words. We're human. We should be able to do better. There was such promise. Perhaps there still is, but the possibility is bleeding out in a puddle of spoiled beer (perfect image, that) and we're standing by kinda paralyzed or impotent or otherwise helpless while it does. Or it feels that way sometimes, and I have never heard anyone express that feeling better.

[WindRavenX]

9. you nailed it

You nailed it. Sweet.
Thanks for your input- it really, really helps. :hi:

[The Traveler]

10. You're welcome

And thanks for sharing that bit of yourself with us here ... the poem, I mean.

G'nite. Keep writing.
:toast:

[MercutioATC]

3. But it doesn't rhyme...

:P

:evilgrin:

[WindRavenX]

6. LMFAO

This time it DOES though!!!
(in a few places) :evilgrin:
Goddamn rhyming is tough. Anyone who can do it well is a god in my book...

[MercutioATC]

7. Actually, it's quite good.

I was just copying an earlier poetry thread reply...

I wish I could create things like that. Doesn't seem to be one of my gifts, though.

[Historic NY]

5. I know your meaning.....its good.