New SPAM Says I Can Now Increase My Sperm By 500%!

[matcom]

now, if i enlarge my penis by 3 inches, AND increase my sperm by 500%..... :think:

[mhr]

1. Maybe True, But The Purple Dinosaur Thing Has To Go

eom

[bobbobbins]

2. thats alot of sperm, you'll have to wear a harness around your knees

[seabeyond]

3. a commercial yesterday, women only four periods a year

wtf i say. how they are manipulating the female body,. then the hard on pill, 36 hour hard on, wtf.......told hubby, would only give to a hubby on friday nite. no pill in middle of week while he is out and about working without me around

oh it is so sad matcom. so very very sad

[loudestchick]

4. Thanks for the warning! You should be hermetically sealed for OUR

protection.

[Squeech]

5. Just this morning

the subway I rode in to work on was full of ads for a new product. They didn't say anything, but the implication was that it increased sexual potency. There were four different scenes: an apartment door with one of those Take a Number ticket dispensers, a couch mounted on shock absorbers, a double bed where the bedside table was covered with trays containing dozens of glasses of water, and (the silliest) a refrigerator packed full of aerosol cans of whipped cream.

I won't buy the product, but I'll give them points for suggestive imagery.

[purji]

6. Well dont give any to

the Mclargehuge's.

I think they have enough. ;-)

[ET Awful]

7. They should get the Sugarhill Gang to endorse 'em

They can just rehash Rappers Delight:

he cant satisfy you with his little worm
but i can bust you out with my super sperm

Big Bank Hank could use a come back :) :) :)

[StopTheMorans]

8. DO NOT SEND THAT MY WAY

I'd like to decrease mine by 100%, not the opposite :silly:

[Glenda]

10. I hear there's a way to do that.

I really am only replying to you becase we have the same avatar :)

:hi:

[StopTheMorans]

11. i am only replying to you because my avatar goes along with my screen

name :hi:

[Glenda]

12. Well, I am only replying to you because...

I was too stupid to change my screen name when Skinner said we could, so my Avatar DOESN"T match my screen name!!

:toast:

[StopTheMorans]

15. well, i'm only replying to you because i agree with you

:P :toast:

[Glenda]

17. Ooooh, that sounds like an insult!

But I have nothing better to do then respond to you. :)

[BurtWorm]

9. Just masturbate five more times a day.

Doesn't cost you a dime. :thumbsup:

(Actually, maybe I shouldn't presume you do it just once as it is...)

[ikri]

13. I Answered All My Spam

by Alex Silbajoris, Columbus, Ohio
Satirewire.com's 2ND Annual Poetry SPAM 2001 Freestyle Winner

I Answered All My Spam

I never know what I might find,
on any day I go online.
I used to get in quite a huff,
while wading through unwanted stuff.
But then I changed the man I am,
the day I answered all my spam.

Now every time I check my box,
I load up on fantastic stocks.
I'll gladly say I felt no loss,
when, with a smile, I fired my boss.
With just one click, the best thing yet,
I freed myself of all my debt.

I have, paying a few small fees,
ten university degrees.
Now that I'm losing all this weight,
I'm sure, someday, I'll get a date.
Instead of going to a show,
I spy on everyone I know.
(That's easy, since I have in hand,
this nifty wireless video cam.)

I spend my evenings viewing screens,
of barely legal horny teens.
And with a little credit charge,
Whoopee! My penis was enlarged!
Meanwhile these shots of Britney Spears
should be enough to last for years.

And so I lead this online life,
my monitor is now my wife.
It has become my greatest dream,
to launch my own get-rich-quick scheme.
And if you think you might get missed,
relax, you're on my e-mail list.

[arwalden]

14. WARNING: Women Might Get Pregnant Just By Reading Your Posts!!!

Head for the hills!! Run away! Run awayyyy!

[kitkatrose]

19. Well, I guess he should prepare for child support suits.

:P

[jswordy]

16. Uh, that increases your sperm...

...SIZE by 500%.

I'm just sayin'...

COULD BE PAINFUL!!!

[rug]

18. That's not spam

It's targeted marketing

[tjwmason]

20. How many mini-matcoms can the world take? n/t