How you know you've gained weight

[Mizmoon]

A man just asked me if I am pregnant.

Oy vey ... time to hit the gym, I guess.

[Richardo]

1. Dave Barry's words of wisdom: NEVER assume a woman is pregnant

...unless you actually SEE the baby coming out of her body.

[jswordy]

5. ROFL! BARRY IS RIGHT...and such a good humor writer, too!

Another helpful hint:

NEVER ANSWER THE QUESTION: "Does this make me look fat?"

EVADE IT, BECAUSE IT IS A NO-WIN.

If you say YES, well...you KNOW the result of that!

If you say NO, then you will be asked, "Are you telling me the truth?" You create a credibility CANYON you will never climb out of!!!

If you say NO, and she accepts that, then goes to a place where she is then asked, "Are you pregnant?", you might as well begin packing your stuff and contact a lawyer.

My preferred evasion, "You know you always look good to me, no matter what you wear, so I am definitely not the one to ask."

;)

[fudge stripe cookays]

2. That is so freaking rude!

I feel for you.

I've really let myself go the last 5 years. But all my political stuff had to come first for awhile.

I joined Jenny Craig November 1st and have lost 15 pounds. Feels great!

FSC

[Mizmoon]

3. at least he had the decency to turn green and sputter

an apology when I smiled and said, "Nope."

[fudge stripe cookays]

4. Small consolation.

I would have said, "No, but you could stand to lose a few pounds yourself, tubby."

THEN see how they react. Even if they're skinny!
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[fit4life]

6. What a dumbass!

If I ever made such an idiotic statement, I'd immediately cover it with "Well you had such a happy glow about you it reminded me of when my wife found out she was pregnant with our first child."

I know it's lame, but it would probably be good enough to at least extract me from the situation relatively unharmed. lol

Thinking on your feet is a vastly underrated skill!

[realisticphish]

7. hey

at least you're a WOMAN who got asked that ;)


:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[kiraboo]

8. Somebody once asked me that when I was about eight months along.

I looked at her, incredulous. What the hell else could I be? Carrying around a massive tumor?

[Misunderestimator]

9. A friend of mine, her husband and I went to a moped rental place

and the guy told her "You can't rent a moped, you're pregnant." He never knew what hit him... man, was she furious!!!

[MsAnthropy]

10. The correct response is "No, are you mentally challenged?"