Zoo tempts gay penguins to go straight

[CottonBear]

Ananova:

Zoo tempts gay penguins to go straight

A German zoo has imported four female penguins from Sweden in an effort to tempt its gay penguins to go straight.

The four Swedish females were dispatched to the Bremerhaven Zoo in Bremen after it was found that three of the zoo's five penguin pairs were homosexual.

Keepers at the zoo ordered DNA tests to be carried out on the penguins after they had been mating for years without producing any chicks.

...snip...

But introducing the Bremerhaven penguins to their new Swedish friends may not be as successful as hoped after earlier experiments revealed great difficulties in separating homosexual couples.

more...

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1275591.html

[flamingyouth]

1. They should contact Focus on the Family for advice

:eyes:

[CottonBear]

6. They can dispatch a homo detection expert right away.

I'm sure they have a penguin expert on hand.

[davidinalameda]

2. send them to conversion therapy

make them watch straight penguin porn

[XNASA]

3. Swedish penguins are hot.

[yellowcanine]

4. I hear James Dobson has some ideas on that. Introduce them to Jesus?

Heh.

[mopinko]

5. i've had gay budgies

mostly lesbians, tho. they usually straighten up easily.

[yellowcanine]

14. Our neutered male cat tried to mate with a male angora rabbit.

Of course he tried to have anal sex with a stuffed panda bear as well so maybe he is just confused.

[KurtNYC]

7. Interview with a zoo keeper

Great stuff.

For many years, the keepers of the Brooklyn penguins believed that these romantic trials and tribulations took place only between the male and female penguins in the exhibit. Recently, however, they discovered that one more variation on the love theme was represented in the mix -- and had been there for years. A blood test revealed that Wendell and Cass, an inseparable pair of 15-year-olds known for a tidy nest and enduring lust, were both male. It didn't surprise the aquarium folks, but the media got excited and recently outed the adoring and oblivious couple.

Do they show interest in Wendell and Cass that they would show to sister penguins? Any "Will and Grace" action in the pen?

No, they mostly stick with their mates. There's a few of the younger birds that you could call friends, but generally, once they pair-bond (mate monogamously for a full season), they just hang out in couples.

http://www.emperor-penguin.com/gay-penguins.html

[CottonBear]

10. Wendell and Cass seem very happy together. n/t

[yellowcanine]

11. "inseparable pair ... known for a tidy nest and enduring lust."

Okaaaay. I'd like to see James friggin Dobson explain this one. Wendell and Cass had distant and unfeeling fathers?

[billyskank]

8. Too much SpongeBob Squarepants, that is.

They warned us, but we didn't listen!

[Dookus]

9. My parents thought that same trick

would work on me. Didn't.

Of course, if they'd gotten really HOT penguins....

[Misunderestimator]

12. Don't know about you, but I'd be pissed if I was one of those penguins.

[yellowcanine]

16. Did they try Swedish female penguins?

[BurtWorm]

13. On top of that, the Swedish penguins are lesbian

While there's been no heterosexual mating action in the penguin house, I hear the parties have been amazing!

:thumbsup:

[yellowcanine]

15. Don't let Fred Phelps find out. He will be picketing the zoo and

pronouncing God's judgement on Wendell and Cass.

[Placebo]

17. no! let them stay gay & fab

it's not like they're harming anyone...unless you consider the male penguin's arses zoo property, which you totally shouldn't because...like...you can't own people, and you like can't own gay lil penguins!

let them be gay & free

we're here...we're freezing our persecuted gay asses off...get used to it!