Replace a famous hero in history with * and describe the change.

[SemiCharmedQuark]

For example: Say, Bush replaced Buzz Aldrin. It's clear that Bush would try and butt his way ahead of Neil Armstrong to be the first man on the moon, regardless of what damage he causes in the process.

[Nitrogenica]

1. There was already a chimp in space before Buzz.

[DS1]

2. Bush replaces Fermi in a last minute substitution

Fermi still needed to do all the mental work to get the point where Bush steps in, and there's no more Chicago, and the Great Lakes are irradiated for the next 200 years

[wyldwolf]

3. Robin Bush -robbed the poor, gave to the rich

[peekaloo]

18. tee hee....Monty Python had Dennis Moore

robbed from the poor, gave to the rich, Dennis Moore, stupid bitch!

[Richard Steele]

4. * replaces FDR...

...And the USA enters WWII by premptively invading Mexico.

[Spider Jerusalem]

5. Bush instead of JFK in the White House, 1962.

"All right, Khrushchev, bring it on."

:nuke:

[SemiCharmedQuark]

8. LOL!

Yeah, the Cuban Missle Crisis would have been much much shorter.

[Lisa]

6. Bush leads the First Crusade ...

He's supposed to be "liberating" Jerusalem, but ends up invading Byzantium (a Christian city) because it's closer, doesn't put up as much resistance, and has lots of stuff to loot.

p.s. actually, it's kind of disturbing to think that the real Richard the Lionheart (of the Third Crusade) was more like Bush, in his penchant for overseas adventures and taxing poor people at home, than the traditional "hero" image.

And Byzantium DID eventually get looted by Crusaders, in the ill-fated Fourth Crusade (which was supposed to be against Egypt).

[SemiCharmedQuark]

9. LOL

And congrats on your 10000th post!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

7. Bush substitutes for FDR.

Hundreds of thousands of people starve on the streets during the Depression, and the Axis forces conquer the U.S. by 1944. Japan gets the west half; Germany gets the east.

[NewJeffCT]

14. and Bill Clinton will still get blamed for it

good one.

[TroubleMan]

10. Bush replaces Darwin ..... wait....they're trying that now.

nt.

[solinvictus]

11. Bush replaces General Custer...

and says "Bring 'Em On!" and we are spared all of his misdeeds.

[Spider Jerusalem]

12. Bush replaces Charles Martel at the Battle of Tours, 732 AD.

He tries to lead by commanding from the rear and delegating all authority and responsibility to subordinates. The Frankish army collapses, and is routed; the Islamic conquest extends into the heart of Europe, and he's forced to live out the remainder of his miserable existence hiding in the Pyrenees.

[TroubleMan]

13. Not a hero, but bush replaces Hitler.....same shit happens

nt.

[Lisa]

15. Bush substitutes for George Washington as leader of the Continental Army

1) Bush spends more than 40% of the time at his country estate while his troops suffer misery at Valley Forge. He so insults the French allies that they decide they're not going to help him anymore. The revolutionaries lose the war.


2) Assuming that Bush actually manages to muddle through, and (with a lot of help) win the war ... if his supporters offered to make him King of America, Bush would eagerly accept ("it'll be a lot easier if I'm dictator"). His newly-installed chief of secret police, Ashcroft, imprisons Franklin, Jefferson, and Adams in an undisclosed location for being too clever by half.

There is no Republic. America is governed by a succession of corrupt, incompetent hereditary monarchs (Georges II through XXI, Jeb V, Neil IX, Marvin VIII, etc.)

[TroubleMan]

16. bush replaces MLK.....they reinstitute slavery

nt.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

17. Bush replaces Lincoln.

He cedes control of the entire U.S. to the Confederacy in exchange for a sizeable cut of the slave business. He becomes exceedingly wealthy and dies of old age, having fathered numerous bastard children born to his female slaves.

[Liberalynn]

19. Bush Replaces Jesus

he'd have thrown the first stone at Mary Magdaline
charge the lepers double for a cure that didn't work,
and kicked the poor and lame and said get up and work like a slave for me you scum.

[TroubleMan]

20. Supply Side Jesus!

nt.

[GreenPartyVoter]

21. General Bu$h and all his friends and relatives replace

Custer and crew.

[Merrick]

22. Bush replaces David

weakens Goliath by ordering his well paid lackeys to prevent him from eating for a long time, then bombs him with huge rocks and flaming toxic waste from catapults several miles away

[TroubleMan]

23. bush replaces Luke Skywalker ..... goes AWOL on Yoda

Says he was campaigning for his dad, Darth Vader.

[neebob]

24. Bush replaces whoever had the idea to build the Trojan Horse

only he's afraid of horses, so they build a giant armadillo instead, and the Trojans are all "What's that?" and never let it in the gates.

[Spider Jerusalem]

25. Odysseus (n/t)

[TroubleMan]

26. He would have went AWOL way before that happened.

LOL

[neebob]

30. Nah, they told him they were gonna get drunk and be rich

after sacking Troy, so he had an incentive. He was actually planning to hide in the armadillo until it was over, and then claim he'd spotted Saddamedes - who had insulted his father, Poppicus Busheus - and chased him through the darkness into a forest, where he fell down a hole.

[Merrick]

27. Bush replaces Ted Striker in Airplane!

-Wasn't responsible for what happened over Macho Grande that fateful day because he'd been grounded for failing another drug test.

-His "Drinking problem" wasn't that he always missed his mouth and splashed whatever he was trying to drink over his face in a comical fashion, but was that he drank way too much booze.

-Takes over as pilot of the stricken airplane under the condition he gets to wear the lone parachute on board, aims it at the Sears Tower, jumps out at the last second and tells everyone it was Iranian terrorists. Invades Iran the next day.

[TroubleMan]

28. "Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing coke."

He could play that guy, too.

[Liberalynn]

29. Bush Replaces the Statue of Liberty

The name is changed to the Statue of the Klan and instead of give us your poor, tired etc,

It says hang those f. foreigners high!

and his Lady Justice would be a fat old Texas Cowboy with a gun in his hand, no blind fold, and with a sign saying "I'll show ya justice, Texas justice that is! Bring on the executioner."

[Hardrada]

31. Bush replaces Moses

Comes down from the mountain, has forgotten one of the tablets, can't pronounce (or read) most of the five commandments he has left. Everyone keeps on worshipping the Golden Calf. Monotheistic religion fades out and everyone has a good time except for Bush who gets a free ride back to Egypt.

[Liberalynn]

32. Kind of Reminds Me of Mel Brooks Moses

When he first comes he says "I have Ten Commandments" then he drops some of them and then changes his statement to "I have six commandments"

[Liberalynn]

33. Bush Replaces Nahtan Hale

and says I regret I have but one life to give for my country, then pushes his poor lame servant forward to go in his place.

[TroubleMan]

34. bush replaces Patrick Swayze in "Dirty Dancing"

He changes the music to "Let The Eagle Soar" and leads everybody "no contact" square dancing.

Then somebody brings some coke to the party and he starts getting too "grabby," so Jennifer Grey slaps him and goes home. The end of the movie is him wrecking his car into a tree.

[yellowdogintexas]

35. Bush replaces Charles Lindbergh, crashes the Spirit of St Louis

in the Atlantic, thus setting back the advance of aviation a few years, and denying Philip Roth a whale of a plot line for a novel in 2004

[yellowdogintexas]

36. Bush replaces Thomas Jefferson, decides that the Louisiana Purchas

is too risky and might be too beneficial and decides to invade Canada instead, resulting in a massive defeat and a British reconquest in 1803 rather than the attempted on in 1812

"God Save the King" is reinstated as the National Anthem

[neebob]

37. Okay, Bush replaces Norma Rae at the textile mill

and finds out it's really hard work, and that makes him mad. So he jumps up on a table and defiantly holds up a sign that says "ONION," but everyone just thinks he's trying to order lunch and keeps on working.

[PittPoliSci]

38. he replaces the REAL George W.

George Washington, that is. Instead of appointing and listening to everything Hamilton had to say about economcs, he brings back Karl Rove with him, and in that case, we get into another war with Britain.

But, Washington, unlike W, funded much of the Revolutionary War straight from his own pocket, so when the burden falls on W to fund another war against the British, instead, he cuts taxes, the British burn down BUSH DC and Canada annexes us.

zoom to 2004. we have national healthcare and al gore wins reelection as prime minister.

okay, that was just silly :-)

[Liberalynn]

39. Bush Replaces The Continental Congress

the rest of the citizens of the colonies say, "Uhm on second thought maybe the original King George of England isn't that bad after all! The Revolution is called off, and we in the future are left directing all our best insults at Prince Up Chuckie.

[guitar man]

40. Bush replaces Eisenhower

"Embrace the Military-Industrial complex"