The war between the sexes is a war on womens' sexuality

[MrScorpio]

Discuss. And try not to lock it

[Jamastiene]

1. There should

be no war between the sexes. I get along better with men than with other women. I don't think that's sexist, but just the truth. I'd declare a cease fire in that war unless provoked by nonsense, which happens from time to time. :evilgrin:

[Modem Butterfly]

5. But it's so fun to take prisoners!

:evilgrin:

[jswordy]

12. LOL -- Yer warped! But I like that!

Tie me up anytime.

[neweurope]

2. No - it's about power. Every question of human life boils down to that.

The continuous try to suppress women's sexuality is a fact but not an end in itself - it's done solely for power. Just like USING female sexuality (rape only being the tip of the iceberg) is ONLY about power.

I agree that there should be no war between the sexes. As always in life intelligence and compassion must enter the picture trying to battle the lust for power with what little means they have.

-------------------

Remember Fallujah

Bush to The Hague!

[no_hypocrisy]

3. The bigger issue: War to discourage women from being autonomous

and independent entities.

By controlling the fertility and reproduction of women, sexuality is intertwined with pregnancy during the 30-40 years of menses. If women cannot decide when or even if they want to carry a child to term and be a parent, then they cannot be given all available options as to employment, that is, to have and control their OWN money. and thus, have to depend upon a true autonomous and independent entity (i.e., father, husband, boyfriend) for their security and ability to survive.

The war on sexuality is really a war on relegating women to household slaves who are dependent upon men for their existence. You know, the "traditional", fundamentalist Christian wetdream of a wife.

[Nikia]

4. I guess it is about who is ithe object and who is the objectifier

Western women be scantily clothed and Islamic women wearing the burka are two sides to the same coin. Men tend to wear comfortable, functional clothes. What they wear does not seem related to displaying or hiding sexuality. Most men who do not see women as equals, see them primarily as sex objects (or mothers, which is of course tied in with that). Women's magazines and culture encourages women to go to great lengths to attract men by being passive, that is to wait for the right man to approach them. Men are encouraged to pursue the woman of their choice. By this strategy, even though men are said to be the ones who want sex more and women are said to be more attractive, men are more in control of getting the women that want. If a man simply wants an attractive woman to have sex with, he can go to a prostitute if he has the means. The protistute usually doesn't choose her customers anymore than a Walmrt clerk chooses her customers, which is why prostitution is usually not a true display of a woman's sexuality. Also, men who have had sex with a lot of women are usually admired by other men and are a desirable marriage partner for women. Women who have had sex with many men, are usually looked down upon by most of society and most of the men who would sleep with her would not consider her to be marriage material, sometimes for the sole reason of her sexuality.
The there is the abortion issue. While a few "pro life" people are concerned about women and children and open up services to desperate pregnant women, many seem to really hate women. They say that she should pay for the sin of her fornication. If she were to carry to term, these same people would be giving her a hard time for being an unwed mother. No one condemns the male fornicator. In countries where sex outside of marriage is punished by the law or custom, women greatly outnumber the men brought for punishment for these crimes even though few of these women are being condemned for lesbianism.
Women are discouraged from displaying their true sexuality throughout the world and actively pursuing desirable mates. When their sexuality deviates from monagamy, they are usually are condemned, sometimes harshly. Even though men, in most cultures, enjoy more sexual permissiveness, women are the ones judged to be the sex objects. Where equlaity between the sexes does not exist, it is usually based on women's role as a sex object.

[Skittles]

8. Nikia, you nail it!

very well said

[SarahB]

10. Very good.

In my experience, even with the very few men I've been extremely close with (i.e. the whole mutual love thing), their intimidation and fear of my sexuality and sexual energy is often paralyzing to them in one way or another. What men say they want and what they really do want is often something else. I think most simply do just want passivity and frankly, I don't do passive so well. Nurturing, yes. Polite, yes. Loving, yes. Passive, weak, quiet, simple, and typical? A big, hearty, no way.

In all honesty, I wish I were bisexual because I'd probably be rather content to give them up for awhile. Unfortunately, I'm not bisexual and while I could give them up, not a day goes by where I'm not reminded in one way or another by men that I'm, in theory anyway, a sexually desirable women. Yet, the few men I actually have been intimately involved with and know my tastes, likes, desires, emotions, soul, etc. find me rather appealing at first, then generally my physical and emotional intensity just makes them feel insecure and so again, in one way or another, I find myself having opened myself up and having it all thrown back in my face feeling as though I am not liked for who I am.

I'm a bit burnt out with having these experiences over and over.

[bobbobbins]

11. I'm sorry, what did you say? i was paralyzed by your sexuality

[plcdude]

13. you see men

hardly even think like you. I agree we can be overwhelmed and feel insecure from women's emotional and physical intensity but a serious and frequent discussion and communication is needed by men to clearly articulate their feelings about this intensity. This is difficult for men to do. As you know we are socialized to be the ones in control and if we perceive that that is not what is happening, then we react by either disengaging or intimating those who are intense.

[SarahB]

14. Yeah, you dudes and that communication thing.

It has seemed to end up in either one of two ways: 1.)They withdraw. or 2.) The try to dominate and control.

The thing is that I don't play games with men and I'm not shallow or superficial. If I'm with someone (or want to be with someone), it's because it's him I want and I like him for who he is. With the man I spent 14 years with, it wasn't until we decided to get a divorce that he actually opened up to me, not only about his depth of feelings for me, but some of his own underlying pain. It makes me sad because I was there all along, though eventually I had to pull away myself because I was just exhausted with the domination and emotional withdrawal.

There's been other similar experiences I've had, but not quite on that level I suppose. It just kind of sucks though.

[redqueen]

6. I partly agree. I see it more as a fight to control women.

Fear of sexuality has its roots, I think, in men's desire to control women.

[Schema Thing]

7. We have ALWAYS been at war with Eur-venus

:evilgrin:

[plcdude]

9. I think it is about

males' insecurities overagainst females place of equal status. I think the war revolves around men's inablility to recognize that all people without reference to gender are and should be respected and regarded as equals.

[MrScorpio]

15. Women have a crisis of esteem in this country

And in a way, I see it as both a consequence of their oppression and subtle tool to maintain it.

Pick up a Glamour magazine. How many women fit the archetype that this and other fashion magazines portray? Not many.

There is of course an economic aspect. Movies, music, magazines, cosmetic surgery and fashion depend heavily on forcing women to looking towards this archetype.

The narrowly allowed definition of female sexualiy is constantly morphed to fit the needs of males. A whore in the bedroom and a saint in the kitchen is but one example of this form of control.

And control is of course the reason why the war exists. A war that oppresses women and locks all men into this vicious cycle, whether they wasnt to be part of it or not.

[Nikia]

16. I agree with you

It is nice that you, a man, brought this topic up in the first place.

[MrScorpio]

17. I was just making an observation

I'm a great admirer of female sexuality.

After travelling around the world, I've observed that its kind of screwed up in this country.

[Kat45]

18. What about other countries? Do you see it as screwed up elswehere?

I wouldn't be surprised if American has it's own proprietary brand of screwed-up sexuality. But are there countries that AREN'T screwed up?

[MrScorpio]

19. I've been to Europe and Asia

Frankly, we're like children in this country when it comes to how women are portrayed.

Outside of this country women aren't some appendage to mens' fantasies, who have to wait until they are validated and defined within a narrow parameter.

It's refreshing to see a woman's sexuality lived as an accepted fact, instead of an excuse to call her a lesbian, a bitch or a whore because she refuses to reinforce your superior status by not sleeping with you.

In the US, women are forced into repressing their sexuality unless it serves to bolster male dominance. And if they refuse to fit within that role, they face stiff penalties.

Instead of it becoming natural and mutually beneficial for both partners, particularly with non marital partners, couplings are engaged in as acts of conquest, replete with language of dominance and submission. Outside of established BDSM relationships, I consider it to be patently juvenile.

Can't sex be a unison of two equals, desiring to express their innate sexuality, or must it be a constant cat and mouse game, with one relishing the role of predator and the other relegated to the role of prey?

[SarahB]

20. Good post.

Worthy of a kick.
:hi:

And another visual on a familiar line...