Soylent Kreme!

[CottonBear]

Soylent Kreme! (from Diztopia)



As previously mentioned, Krispy Kreme has developed a new product that, if fully realized, would be comparable in importance to penicillin, the Bible, or the opposable thumb. We're talking about the drinkable donut, or as KK prefers to more innocuously call it, the "frozen blended beverage." We learned from the press release that the foundation flavor is "Frozen Original Kreme," which KK describes as "the signature flavor of our Original Glazed doughnut captured in a creamy frozen blend." There are also raspberry, latte, and double chocolate flavors, and coffee may be added for a further taste-splosion.

As a longtime Krispy Kreme enthusiast, I set off to determine if mankind was ready for this evolutionary leap forward. Arriving at KK with trusty Agent L (pictured above, undercover) as backup, I inquired of the dour KK kounter-man, prithee, what is the Frozen Blended Beverage made of? "It's a drink," he answered. Yes, that I got from the poster showing the product as a liquid in a cup, but what's in it? Milk? Is it like a milkshake thing? At this point, his jaw began working mechanically, and he called for his manager. Uh oh.

The manager came storming up to the counter, and when we asked her the same questions, she barked "It's a blended ... frozen beverage!" She was sticking to the company line, even though it should have been rendered "frozen blended beverage." But before she could call security, the counterman suddenly interjected, "We don’t know what it is. It's just powder. They just send it to us and we mix it with ice." I thought the manager was going to snap his head off for such impertinence.

But he was right! I ordered a Frozen Original Kreme, and this calmed the manager enough to retreat to her lair. Her minion busied himself with preparing the beverage, which indeed involved spooning a portion of gray powder from this canister into a pitcher.

more...

http://diztopia.typepad.com/diztopia/2004/07/soylent_kreme.html

Maybe a clue as to why KK's stock is tanking.